sync Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I posted here a while ago about breaking up with my gf of nearly three years. Well, four months later and I still think about her. I recently went over to USA to see some friends and talked to a good friend about this, I ended up in tears. It brought her back to my mind, I've been thinking about her pretty much daily since breaking up with her but now I can't stop thinking about her. My friend told me to think about myself for once and if I want her back, then I should contact her. Thing is, I havent talked to her since I broke up with her and maybe she is over me, maybe she is well on her way to healing and me contacting her will only hurt her more, something, I don't want to do again. I want to tell her that I can't promise it will work but I will try my hardest, something I didn't do before but also that she must change some of her ways too. Any advice?
justine4 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I posted here a while ago about breaking up with my gf of nearly three years. Well, four months later and I still think about her. I recently went over to USA to see some friends and talked to a good friend about this, I ended up in tears. It brought her back to my mind, I've been thinking about her pretty much daily since breaking up with her but now I can't stop thinking about her. My friend told me to think about myself for once and if I want her back, then I should contact her. Thing is, I havent talked to her since I broke up with her and maybe she is over me, maybe she is well on her way to healing and me contacting her will only hurt her more, something, I don't want to do again. I want to tell her that I can't promise it will work but I will try my hardest, something I didn't do before but also that she must change some of her ways too. Any advice? My advice - GO FOR IT!! If you don't contact her, you'll always have regrets about not doing it and be left thinking 'what if...' I don't know the history behind things, but if there wasn't any real animosity, theres no reason not to contact her. The worst thing that can happen is she says no. There could be various reasons for her saying no - she has moved on, she has someone else etc... This will hurt, but at least you know you took the step. Better that than live with regrets. However, it could also have a positive outcome. You'll never know if you don't try.
northstar1 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I posted here a while ago about breaking up with my gf of nearly three years. Well, four months later and I still think about her. I recently went over to USA to see some friends and talked to a good friend about this, I ended up in tears. It brought her back to my mind, I've been thinking about her pretty much daily since breaking up with her but now I can't stop thinking about her. My friend told me to think about myself for once and if I want her back, then I should contact her. Thing is, I havent talked to her since I broke up with her and maybe she is over me, maybe she is well on her way to healing and me contacting her will only hurt her more, something, I don't want to do again. I want to tell her that I can't promise it will work but I will try my hardest, something I didn't do before but also that she must change some of her ways too. Any advice? That's tricky. If you contact her and she either doesn't respond, or doesn't respond favourably (or is dating someone) how will it make you feel?
Author sync Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Its not really me that I'm worried about. If she is over me, or at least on her way then it may only hurt her more. I REALLY don't want that. If I get rejected, then I get rejected. Sure it will hurt but realistically, worse things could happen.
northstar1 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Its not really me that I'm worried about. If she is over me, or at least on her way then it may only hurt her more. I REALLY don't want that. If I get rejected, then I get rejected. Sure it will hurt but realistically, worse things could happen. True, but what do you want to accomplish out of this?
iwish Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 If you dumped her and want to try again. I think you should contact her. You're the dumper. You hurt her, she i think would love it if you called. It can go one of two ways.. She will agree to try again. She will just say no.. Either way, she shouldn't get hurt. Go for it.
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I went back and quickly scanned your opening posts on your threads. What reason(s) made you unhappy at the end of your relationship?
Author sync Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 I wasn't happy. We started not seeing each other very much due to work etc and I guess I started getting used to it. That led to me questioning us and I wasn't convinced in our future. But four months later, I'm still keeping stuff which remind me of her, stuff I would usually throw out and I think about her alot.
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I wasn't happy. We started not seeing each other very much due to work etc and I guess I started getting used to it. That led to me questioning us and I wasn't convinced in our future. But four months later, I'm still keeping stuff which remind me of her, stuff I would usually throw out and I think about her alot. You're either not self-auditing enough or you're not willing to post why you were unhappy enough to break up with her. Let's pretend that it was only being busy. What happens when the two of you get busy again?
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 If that's the case, you're going to have to convince her that you're serious about it and also display this with consistent actions, not just words. Make 100% certain you can abide by your word or this will be your last shot at it, IF you manage to convince her to come back to you.
Author sync Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Thanks. You make perfect sense. My biggest worry was that I wouldn't give 100% but I've really started to realise just how much I miss her. Beleive me, if I'm not 100% I wont go back into this relationship, like I said, I'm scared of hurting her anymore.
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