Date With The Younger Guy Version 2.0

July 24, 2008

I hate it that we’ve both had to deal with these poor insecure chaps, but I’m really glad I’m not in this alone! Be awkward just to laugh and vent to myself

Ummm....wow, someone has written a song about our situation - well almost, at least they are still together in the song! lol It's called Hot n cold by Kate Perry! I am now obsessed with this song. She calls it Love Bi-Polar! Ha, that's what it is!!!!! Here's a YouTube video link to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXuUYNNprNE

And here are the lyrics:

• Kate Perry - Hot N Cold • (Lyrics)

You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

Yeah you, PMS

Like a bitch

I would know

And you over think

Always speak

Cryptically

I should know

That you're no good for me

{CHORUS}

Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in then you're out

You're up then you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

(you)You don't really want to stay, no

(but you)But you don't really want to go-o

You're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

We used to be

Just like twins

So in sync

The same energy

Now's a dead battery

Used to laugh bout nothing

Now your plain boring

I should know that

You're not gonna change

{CHORUS}

Someone call the doctor

Got a case of a love bi-polar

Stuck on a roller coaster

Can't get off this ride

You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

{CHORUS}

July 24, 2008

If you want songs about dysfunctional relationships, listen to any Eminem album. His rants about Kim make us all look sane.

July 24, 2008

If you want songs about dysfunctional relationships, listen to any Eminem album. His rants about Kim make us all look sane.

lol I know! I have all his albums!!!

July 24, 2008

You really just have to be mature and face the fact that he just isn't interested in you for some reason. You have only had, what, a couple dates with him? You should not be this upset over it.

There are a variety of reasons he isn't interested. As he got to know you on those one or two dates, he mulled it over, and just realized that there were things about you that he just wasn't into.

This isn't your fault!!! Not every guy is going to be into you, just like you aren't going to be into every guy! Of course he's going to be friendly on the date! He's a nice guy!!! But... he's just not into you! Release yourself of wondering about it!

Another strong possibility - he met someone else, or was dating someone else already and decided he's more attracted to her!

Nothing you can do about that, either, and do you really want to know if he did like some other woman better?

Just let it go. This guy is not a jerk and whatnot....he's just not into you.

July 24, 2008

You really just have to be mature and face the fact that he just isn't interested in you for some reason. You have only had, what, a couple dates with him? You should not be this upset over it.

There are a variety of reasons he isn't interested. As he got to know you on those one or two dates, he mulled it over, and just realized that there were things about you that he just wasn't into.

This isn't your fault!!! Not every guy is going to be into you, just like you aren't going to be into every guy! Of course he's going to be friendly on the date! He's a nice guy!!! But... he's just not into you! Release yourself of wondering about it!

Another strong possibility - he met someone else, or was dating someone else already and decided he's more attracted to her!

Nothing you can do about that, either, and do you really want to know if he did like some other woman better?

Just let it go. This guy is not a jerk and whatnot....he's just not into you.

Thanks for telling me how I SHOULD feel. I know you mean well, but I can't help my response to the situation as much as I "shouldn't be this upset over it". As for him not being interested, don't you think I've considered this?! I think it's probably the answer, and it's not like I'm sitting here doing nothing about it. I have decided to move on, but that's a process, and I use this board to vent with another user who has the same experience as me! I even dropped this whole thing, but then he keeps initiating calling whenever I've started to move on! Whenever I see him, he asks why we haven't talked for so long. I will stick to my no contact rule because if I see him, he's just going to initiate contact with me again. So he's not into me, but he can't stop calling and drooling whenever he sees me to the point where his supervisor asks if he's bothering me, and this was less than a week ago! That's what's annoying me! His confusion is adding to my confusion!

July 25, 2008

Forgive me LS forum...I'm afraid I have a long post!

Love Deluxe: The way your guy acted, is exactly how Doc Young Guns acted with me right before the split. My quick recap of the whole situation…We started hanging out just as friends in December on like a weekly basis: Me, him and his BFF, who I’m also close to. We eventually get to talking on the phone regularly once our attraction was outed (first part of March). It all came to a head 1 night when he was like "if I were a prince, would you be my princess?" So literally, that became our nicknames for each other. It was cute & goopy and I sopped up every mushy moment like a biscuit in some lard (I’m from KY...eventually everything is equated to biscuits and lard ). Our first official date was even more sappy and lovely. He was blushing, I was blushing…I’m swooning now just typing this! It was great! But soon after (as in that same week) he wound up leaving for a trip overseas. He called and wrote but when he returned he just started backing off. Now I know for a 110% fact that while there he wasn’t with anyone else, so I don’t know if he just had time to think about it or what but by the time he’d arrived home a few weeks later he was like a whole different person. I was thinking we were gonna pick up where we left off-he’d even said we were gonna pick up where we’d left off- but instead he became wishy-washy. He would go out of his way to plan stuff with me and then not show up! I finally stopped calling him but he would still call me everyday, all throughout the day. So finally I emailed him and was like "hey I don’t want you to feel pressured into a relationship; if it happens cool but if not, that’s cool too." And that seemed to work for a minute but before I could say flapjack, he was back to the washing machine. He’d ask if he could send me flowers, but then 2 days later make an excuse not to meet me for dinner. It became a nutty rollercoaster and rather than be one of the riders I was just sprawled out on the stinkin’ track itself wondering what hit! I mean how do I go from being your princess to your personal leper in just a few days??!? I kept looking behind me to see if maybe my limbs had actually fallen off due to some dreadful disease but nope, still on! I was indeed still the same person he’d seemingly fallen for from the get go, but for some reason he was totally and all of a sudden different…umm correction…indifferent!

This leads me to 4 theories:

1) Maybe they really were scared of us! You said it and honestly I’ve thought it. I mean here you are a 29 year old, hip, young lawyer and there he is a 20 year old computer kid almost fresh outta high school. I mean you probably intimidated the crap out of him! He probably is looking at your age, job and where you are in life and feeling that though he’s attracted to you, he has remotely nothing to offer...at least, not anytime soon. So maybe he’s just trying to put it out of his mind because he feels like he for real, doesn’t stand a chance in the long run. Same for my friend. One night while we were talking on the phone, he alluded to the fact he was sexually experienced. It shocked me at first considering how virginal he seemed but I was like "well maybe he is." However later that week as I was talking to his BFF, it came up and she was like "He’s not experienced!" and just went into complete hysterical laughter at the shear thought of him even getting a remote piece of nookie. So I of course was dumbfounded by the fact that he’d try to lie, when suddenly it came to me. Why would he lie and pretend he was on my level, if he didn’t like me?! It’s like rather than remotely indicate he was pure and ‘disappoint’ me, he was trying to impress me into thinking he was this wild lust teapot (he’s too young to be a sexpot and thus the tea notion)! I further got the intimidation vibe, when on another occasion (after he’d begun acting peculiar) when he said "you’re a homeowner and here I haven’t even really had my own place ever!" So the only thing I could fathom was that yes, he really didn’t feel he had anything to offer me. And think about when you said your guy was kissing you and saying "what did I do to deserve this? I’m just a 20 year old kid." Maybe he for real was thinking that. He probably went home that night, sat on his bed and thought “how can somebody with their stuff together be interested in lil’ ol me?” And then he probably stuck his head under his pillow like an ostrich and cried. Fight or flight kicked in and it was just easier for them to avoid us than admit that they’d probably never be on our level…at least not anytime soon. Makes sense I think. And honestly, maybe that’s why he keeps calling. He wants to like you and does but there’s still that hesitation because you are at 2 different walks of life. And so he backs off again. Nobody’s fault. Just the way it is. Most guys wanna feel that their lady’s need them in some way, shape or form but where you’re already established, he probably feels he’s got nothing to bring to your table. So ok, that’s Theory 1.

Theory 2…it really was all about the thrill of the chase and once he caught you, it wasn’t nearly as 'cool' anymore. Young Guns had been into me since August of last year. I finally give in; show some interest, then after a good solid month and a half of actual dating! He bails. You’d been frequenting your guy’s place of employment so he’d probably been scooping you for awhile and wishing. Then once he finally got your attention, it boosted his ego, he started thinking he was all that and before you could stop your head from spinning at his cute-quirky ways, he was over it. I could totally see this being the case as well.

Theory 3… And I'm kinda agreeing with Lovely Disaster's theory (yet really hoping this wasn’t the case) in that we were not the only ones who caught their eye. Your guy was 20, mine 21, both just really starting out in life and trying to find themselves and their place in the sun. Think how many guys at that age just wanna play the field? See what the world has to offer?? They probably looked at us and figured, "them brawds is ready to settle down." Even though we conveyed the opposite-at least verbally, they probably didn’t believe a word we said. They probably saw the age and were like "I can’t wear that tux yet" and went seeking out a safer bet. I can totally picture yours being as hot as you said he is, chatting up some girls or being chatted up by some girls, after his Batman movie. And mine of course, well, he is trying to talk to someone else, who looking back, may have been in the picture all along. So there ya go. Maybe your retail boy liked you well enough not to wanna hit it and quit it but at the same time, he wasn’t ready to be yours (or anyone else’s) 1 and only. By no means am I a doctor (especially not of love-ha!) but that’s all I can come up with from both our situations.

4) And my final Theory for why we got the big blooming shaft… because they’re crazy! Plain and simple. They escaped from a looney bin and are nuts! I used to work with mental patients…seriously…so I outta know! Blah! I should have just stuck with Big Copper Gyration! His dancing didn’t make sense (or how he flat handedly palmed me in the chest once it was over…yeah that’s how he got me to lie on the bed…) but I mean, it was far less confusing than this! And at least that was somewhat amusing! This is downright lame

Honestly, I don’t think it’s necessarily the rejection part that gets us as much as the fact that of all the people TO reject us, it was them! Here was this person with whom you had a connection, who was so sweet with these walloping yards of potential. I mean, he was probably the last person you’d have expected to pull some kind of messed up disappearing act, not once, but like twice! I mean if anyone had a right to “just say no” and pull the plug, by golly it was you, not him! I know that’s how I felt at least. I told Guns in my last email to him after our split that I felt he would have never acted or treated any other girl that way, so I didn’t know why he’d done so to me. And I still feel like that. I mean, I know this girl he tried to date back in the day when he was 18 (she was 28), and he didn’t remotely pull this crap with her and they had even more of an age difference! So I mean, if he was gonna go do something dumb and immature, you’d think it would’ve been then, right!?!? But nope, they ended things like normal people and are still great friends. But yet here I am, getting no respect even despite my respecting him and even going as far as to try to give him space when it seemed he wanted it. Yet when I pulled away, he was like “no. Don’t do that.” So things would go good again but then by the next week, back to the same drama. It’s like “you don’t want me near, you don’t want me far, well then what do you want?!?!”

My game is gonna stay as fore stated. Back to no contact as much as possible. Just Sunday he was doing his best to be around me and then on last night I even noticed he’s no longer parking beside me (we’ve always parked together at church)! It’s ridiculous! And we’re by no means pathetic. We’re just normal people with feelings. Guns may not have had a lot to offer me right now but dude’s future looked impeccably bright and I just hate the fact I won’t be part of it. I hate we will not have our next official date or that I will never be able to take him to that Chinese restaurant I wanted to. That we won’t be having anymore great conversation or getting giddy just from being in each other’s presence…*sigh* precious memories… lingering like old flatulence

Once again, sorry I’ve written a book with this post but you know…had to let it out! Deluxe, thanks for the song. If I ever pursue comedy 1 day, I’m gonna specifically use quotes from it in my show!

July 26, 2008

I think you are getting way too worked up over a guy you went out with one or two times. It's clear he isn't going to treat you very well and isn't as invested as you are.

It is a waste of time to analyze his every word and move when it's clear he's just not that into you.

Just move on!

July 28, 2008

MRevolver:

You are hilarious, girl!!!! You had me cracking up the whole time I was reading your post, laughing like a madwoman!!! My stomach hurt and I think I cried a bit from so much laughing!!!!

As for your theories:

Theory #1: I was imagining retail boy old putting his head underneath his pillows and crying...like an ostrich...and I just seriously died from laughter! But you know what, you're right! My guy friends were telling me, objectively, how intimidating this would be to a 20 year old kid! The things he said to me about him only being 20, probably indicated his feelings of insecurity and the fight or flight probably did kick in and he got scared! As for your guy, a homeowner while he's 'still living with mom and pops? That's pretty intimidating to me if I were a 21 year old!

Well, retail boy did talk big game about what he was going to do to me - said he was willing to wait because it was worth it since he was going to "do it to me in so many different positions" and that I was "going to have to be wheel chaired into work the next day!" I don't think so! This guy may have had sex before, but it surely has been with younger girls who didn't expect much of him! I think he talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk! Another hot sexy teapot here?!

Lastly, a part of me knew that second date was going to be the end because while we were sitting on my couch talking, he kept saying, "You are a carbon copy of me, I can't believe we have so much in common, it's scary!!" That's when I said, "I know, but don't say "scary", that's usually a bad thing, I think it's awesome that we have such a strong connection and have so much in common!" He used the word, "scary", not a good sign...

Theory 2: People on this board have criticized me for being so much into this guy despite going on only 2 actual dates, but the whole flirting, talking, hanging out at his place of work had been going on for like 2 months!!!! So it could be that the thrill of the chase just built up and up and up and so that thrill was gone when they actually had us!? That, combined with the fear, and they're like, "Uhh...maybe not!" lol

Theory 3: Yes, ironic since we both conveyed the opposite, that we didn't want kids and to get married in a second of feeling a connection! If anything, I just wanted some fun! lol But you're right, the same thing that turned them on about us, our age, that we're not immature and lacking confidence like some of the younger girls they've been with, that we're together, and experienced, might also have lead them to think that there was nowhere to go but a TUX fitting! lol Here's another aspect to this theory, the moment they felt insecure, they might have gone out and sought girls that made them feel better! I can totally see 20 year old feeling somewhat emasculated after a night of crying under the pillows () and meeting all these younger girls, since he is such a hottie, and thinking, "I feel safer and more myself around these girls than with that 29 year old brawd who probably wants me in a tux ASAP!" lol So he probably went and ran with that thought! You may not be a Dr. of Love, but my, you are good! lol

Theory 4: Very very plausible! I really think this is it! I trust your judgment in being able to recognize mental patients! lol Yes, the LAPD Detective, the freakazoid, was also less confusing than retail boy!

Theory 5: Yes, I have a 5th theory! Not sure how Dr. Young Gun's situation is like, but retail boy has got a lot of guy friends! I know they contributed to his behavior! I bet he told them about how he met such a cool chick who took him to a baseball game and they probably hated that idea, that he met a cool girl he liked, and how he was going to be spending more time with her and less with them! They probably got jealous! So they probably talked some talk about how "old brawds want babies ASAP, old brawds already have wedding dresses picked out"...so they probably took him to a party and introduced him to some young hot chicks! He probably listened to them and lost out on the best opportunity his 20 year old brain could ever wrap around!!!!

As for the rejection part, yes you hit the nail on the head! Of all people, a 20 year old retail boy?! Not in my wildest dream (or worse nightmare) could I ever have pictured this! They say truth is stranger than fiction and ain't that the truth?! Yes, I thought I was the one who was going to date him and then decide it wasn't going to go anywhere and end things, but he pulls this crap?! lol

My, you are good! Wanna be my love doctor?

I'm slowly getting over him. I'm at a place where I can walk by his place of employment, see him inside, without feeling that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. He even saw me walking by once, but I just walked on by! I have told myself that the sense of connection I felt was not to be trusted since he rejected me, so I am slowly feeling that connection being severed. I am avoiding his store for awhile, but I think your situation is tougher as you have more interactions with Dr. Young Guns! But hang in there!!!

So situation with retail boy is slowly improving as I am trying to get over him, but now I have a new issue......

I just met another one! Beautiful hazel eyes, short dark brown hair, looks to be between 23-26 (yes, I am done with 20 year olds!), tall, slim, has seen me at Starbucks many times, we chat it up once in awhile, and the other day he approached me, started shaking as if he was having a seizure or there was an earthquake (I do live in San Francisco after all! ) and asked for my # to invite me to a movie! Oh boy, wondering if this is going to be a better situation or a repeat of the last!!!! We shall see. He did not make me weak in the knees at first sight like with retail boy, where my knees almost gave out in his store, but this boy did make me smile and blush like a little school girl! So where are you, girl, turn your Private Messaging features on so we can chat!!! I need my Love Doctor!

July 31, 2008

Love Deluxe:

Well ifin’ I’m good my friend, you’re better! Because by all means, your Theory #5 seemed to be right on point in regards to Doc Young Guns! But more on that in a second...

I by all means totally agree with what you said! I think retail boy was way intimidated and all too influenced by everyone else’s opinions. Sucks but hey, who wants to be with somebody that would secretly be hyperventilating every time they were out with you?! Better to find out how scared he really was now and have him run off, than him take flight at the alter! But ok. Now, let me elaborate on your Theory #5 as a few things have transpired since we last spoke…

Remember how I told you Guns had this best friend whom we’d originally began hanging out with back a few months ago?? Well, that friend is a female. So anyhoo, they’ve always been close and when I say close, I mean CLOOOOOOOSE! As in calling or texting each other 24/7, buying each other expensive gifts “just because,” even down to telling each other they miss 1 another when they’re not together… Yeah….a little odd considering she’s in her 30’s and has a boyfriend but whatever….I just figured she was like a big sister to him. No big thing. So ok…Friday night I was hanging out with 2 of my friends (1 of which is the sister of this girl) and during the course of conversation, she began to ask me about him and if we were still talking. So I of course tell her the story of what he did and how he just seemed to flake out of nowhere, when all of a sudden she looks up and goes “OMG it’s my sister! She’s the problem! She messed this up for you!” So with that, all chaos broke loose and I all but wreck my car at this grand revelation she’d laid out before me! And well, as I began to listen to her explain her reasoning, all the missing pieces that I’d been searching for just began falling into place.

I had assumed when I first started hanging out with them back in December, my presence was welcome. And I think at first it was but once Guns and I really began hooking up, I think she may have started to feel like the 3rd wheel when originally she’d been more like the stinkin’ stirring wheel to his car! It’s like looking back I should have known that she was getting jealous. For instance, this 1 time when me, her and Guns went out, me and him wound up holding hands and she completely freaked when she found out. She was like “I can’t believe you guys!”...and this was days later! It’s mean HELLO-what do couples normally do?!?! Pat Pancreases?!?” Also that would explain why 1 night while he was still overseas, she began to tell me about all these issues he supposedly had and how I “probably needed to cut him loose.” Looking back, I remember being totally confused at how she’d just all of a sudden go from egging us on, to wanting me to dump him but once again I just blew it off. Actually…come to think of it…I think I thanked her for “looking out for me!” She was actually trying to get me to stop pursuing him so she could maintain their close knit bond with him and I thanked her! How ironic is that??? I mean, this chick’s BF is long distance and Guns, well he’s right here; t-totally giving her the attention and support she needs and can’t get from her own guy so of course, she’s not gonna want that taken away! I can’t believe I was so blind. I mean this could still all be speculation but the pieces just fit. The things she began saying, the strange way he began acting, it just all makes sense now. Plus, I mean the girl’s sister (whom she still lives with) said it, so you know, if anyone would know what’s going on besides them, it would be her! I can just picture her (the BFF) telling him he needed to concentrate on school instead of a relationship and him falling for it, hook line and sinker, without questioning a thing! She wasn’t looking out for his best interest; she was looking out for hers! The ol’ friendship sabotage in total effect AND Technicolor. So there ya go my dear. The once great mystery that was Guns-solved. Dilemma done. Case closed. Pop Rocks dissolved and I’m left foaming at the mouth cause my brain is fried and tired.

What kind of doofus blows off a possible great relationship to appease a girl you’re not even with??? It’s like “do you even realize the control you’ve let this woman have on your life!?!” Also, what kind of friend is that?? She’s supposed to be my friend too yet she completely screwed us up! No telling what she’d been saying to him about me! That would explain why he was all funny acting when he returned from his trip-she was the only other person he’d been in contact with! Grrrr! I’m gonna throw them both in a pit of tobacco and let the locals smoke ‘em!

*goes into Tree Pose* Deep breath….calm ….calm….I am 1 with the Earth….

*sigh* honestly… though a little miffed at all this, I’m also quite relieved to know that it wasn’t anything I did or my wild woman past that drove him away. In some ways, I should probably thank her for exposing him cause let’s be real. Is this really who I want as my soul mate? Someone who’s that dependent on another individual and their opinions for their life??? Umm I think not. Dude just needs to grow some ‘baby-cases,’ be a man and grow up! Ridiculous. Absolutely unbelievable and ridiculous. But hey, least I’ve finally got some closure and can start to move on now.

All in all, I think my best bet will still be to distance myself, only this time from both of them. I want no part of that madness! Especially if her boyfriend rolls into town, finds out how close they really are, and then decides to kill 1 or both of them. No ma’am! I’m not trying to get myself in the midst of some wacko love triangle OR trapezoid. Noooo way! He’ll never be able to have a normal relationship until they break free from each other. No girl in her right mind would put up with that! I mean, I’m crazy and even I’m not down with it. So you know… Sheesh! This makes my brain hurt. He and retail boy both be weenies. Blah! But ok, new subject! New subject!

So a new underage hottie huh?!? Haha when will we ever learn girl! I’ve decided to give up my quest for now. Not look for anything and just ride the tide. May buy a lizard or something. I’m not home enough to take care of a dog. But in the meantime, ifin’ it’s alright with you, I’m gonna get my kicks by living vicariously through your romances. Deal?? Now tell me how to use this Private Messenging feature so you and I- La Loca Love Doc- can chat!! I feel “My Date with a Younger Guy version 3.0” coming on!

August 1, 2008

MRevolver:

Ok, to enable private messaging, click on My Profile/CP on the top right corner. Then click on Edit Options on the left panel of the page that comes up. Then click on the Enable Private Messaging box, and voila!!!!

Ok, ok, OMG, I think we solved a COLD CASE!!!!!! For some reason I had an aha! moment about young people esp. guys being susceptible to their friends' crappy advice! So this girl is a total freakazoid!!!! She has a BF, but sabotaged things for you and him, and stupid stupid boy believed her??!!!! OMG, this girl is beyond pathetic and conniving!!! Their "friendship" is also disgusting! It sounds almost incestuous to me! Ha! Wow, looking back, the signs were all there. She got pissed off when you guys were holding hands?! What a wack job, what else do couples do?! And she got jealous of that?! This is getting sicker by the minute! Do you think she is just jealous that someone is taking attention away from her, or does she secretly want to hug him in inappropriate ways while her poor BF is miles away?! What do you think? Either way, what a B-I-T-C-H!!!! I am fuming over here, for you!!!! And while he was gone overseas, she was being a busy body going back and forth putting all those tainted thoughts into both your minds, but you, being the hot, confident, and together gal that you are, took her advice as bull****, although you totally trusted her (she took advantage of your trust!) but Young Guns there totally fell for it!!!! I can't believe he fell for it!!!! That was too easy, how did he fall for it?! What kind of friend is she?! A friend wants what's best for their friend, not mess up possibly one of the best opportunities he may EVER have?! Are you kidding me?! How pathetic is she, and she's in her 30's?

I don't blame you for not seeing it though, because who would expect another person to be so two-faced, pathetic, and conniving! I mean, who does these things?! You don't, I don't, so how could we even fathom that another person is acting this way, esp. a chick in her 30's?! I thought these games ended when we were 17!

I've totally lost respect for him as well! If he got scared and ran away, that's one thing, and any of our 4 theories would have been quite alright, but it had to be theory 5?! He took advice from a girl he wasn't even with?! He gave up something with a person he felt such a strong connection with (and let me tell you, it's rare) to appease his stupid friend?! Sad thing is, she's not really even his friend!!!!

All in all, however, I'm glad you got the closure you were searching for! It wasn't you sweetie! I knew it wasn't, and you knew it wasn't, but a part of us always wonders, "What happened, what did we do? The connection was so great!" Trust me, it's better in the long run; do you want to be with a guy who is "King of not recognizing great opportunities" and is stupid enough to listen to some dumb chick?! Are you kidding me?! I went from losing respect for him to feeling sorry for his dumb ass in like a split second! He could have had you; imagine him being blessed to be hanging out with you, cuddling with you, having such a great, funny and fun girl all to himself! But no, so poor guy and good riddance!!!!!

As for retail boy, I have another theory! An EX-GF! We were talking once, and he mentioned how he had an EX-GF, HS sweetheart, who was pretty psycho and didn't trust him and was completely controlling so they broke up! I think perhaps he wasn't completely honest and they were on the rocks, but when we went out, he probably felt the connection and felt guilty, or felt emasculated, and perhaps they worked things out?! I mean, it wasn't too long ago that he was still in HS right?!

I don't know, I guess I'll never know!!!!

Doesn't the Universe have a cool way of letting you know, in the end, what happened? So there, dear, you got your redemption!

As for new young hottie, well, he's BROKE?! Poor thing! He called me to invite me to the movies, but said he had to wait a week before he gets his paycheck! Then he has no cell phone because he forgot to pay his bills, so he calls me from a land line! He's already weirded out that I'm an attorney! I mean, it's no biggie if he's broke, I was totally there once, and I still am with those damn $1,000 a month student loans I'm paying, but he seems so EMBARRASSED by this!!! So sigh, I may tread carefully with this one for now!!! He may be scared too! lol But he is a cutie, and so I'm sure there are CHEAP things to do, such as watching videos on my couch!

So sleep well m'dear! And may karma come back and bite that loony bin escapee in her behind!!!!! As for Young Guns, sigh, I just feel bad for his stupidity!

August 6, 2008

L.D.:

I can’t PM cause I’m not established yet. How messed up is that?? I already feel belittled due to my poor love life and now LS tells me I’m not worthy enough to send PM’s so I can make friends! Good thing my self esteem’s already shot or else this could tank it!

But anyways, in regards to his gal pal, actually she isn’t really a bad person at all. I know that may sound strange considering she may have sabotaged our relationship but you just have to know the girl I guess. She’s one of those people that just enjoys doing nice things and being an overall help in general. For instance, I was sick all last week and she was the first person to call and check up on me. She’s a great girl but just sometimes she’s a little…for lack of a better word…we’ll say ‘naïve’ to things. Meaning I can totally see her thinking she was doing me a favor by telling me about Guns' short comings and thinking it would "save me some heartache in the long run.” And same for him. She probably told him he needed to concentrate on his schoolwork and moving out, etc. Sad but I could totally see this happening. Cause I’m sure that if she was jealous, she probably didn’t even realize it…that or she was in massive denial. All of which are very probable. Blah! I just don’t know. I’ve thought on that theory for several days now and even with that, there are still loopholes in what actually happenend. Plus, that still wouldn’t explain that other chick being in the picture. Whatever the case though point is, he’s an adult who's old enough to make decisions on his own. I’m to the point now that I’m like if he really wanted to stick it out-he would have. Bottom line. He wouldn’t have run off, no matter what was said or who came in the picture. So once again I’m back to theory 4! That he really is just plain crazy! Which! Listen to what he did the other day! I call this next section “the Slap Heard Round The World!”

So Sunday morning, he’d taken to parking beside me again-much to my surprise (and yeah I’ll admit it, my pleasure also). And actually after church we were just laughing and cutting up together to the point you would have thought we were best buds. So I of course am excited because I’m like “yes! Finally some normalsy! It really is finally over!” But you know….I should have known something else ridiculous would occur. This world has a funny way of giving you 1 last whammy right before the end of things….So anyhoo, that night we attended a formal dinner and after eating (it was like 20 of us), he was asked to have words. So in the midst of his talk (which included saying both nice things to the honoree and congratulating this newly engaged couple) he begins to completely go off on this 3 minute tangent about how he’s having trouble dating!! He was like “it’s so hard to find nice girls but I’m trying not to be discouraged… I know 1 day God will send me that special someone too.” ?!?!??! I mean CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY!?! After the numbness dulled from my jaw after that big granddaddy of a verbal slap, I’m sure the look on my face was priceless…. probably a complete mix of utter shock and “oh no you didn’t.” My mother was there also for the ‘festivities’ and just kept mouthing the words “sit down, please just sit down” to herself. I just finally began to tune him out. A couple of folks there that knew our story were like “open your eyes stupid! You had something good and let it go!” But anyhoo, you should have been there! It was by far one of the most impressive displays of ego and nerve I’ve ever seen! But you know what? Honestly by the time he’d finished I couldn’t help but laugh. Granted…I felt about .057 inches tall at first but then I just started rollin’ at the shear irony of the matter. He did me wrong, yet he can’t find anyone decent! *sigh* Yet another slap in the face from Guns. But thankfully I wasn’t the only slapee in the audience…that other girl he ditched me for was there also. Haha, apparently neither 1 of us was rockin’ his world!! Frankly I think he was just talking for the sake of hearing himself talk cause just a few days ago, I heard he was at a friends house loudly proclaiming that he “didn’t want a relationship at all,” yet now all of 3 days later, he’s discouraged because he can’t find anyone to marry. What a nut job! He really is psycho! He looked pretty sheepish when we left that night (we did not communicate) and then on yesterday when he came to my PT job to visit his friend, he made it a point to walk on the complete other side of the aisle as to avoid me. Little guilty and feeling like a jerk??? Maybe so. But whatever the case, after a quick flinch in my heart at seeing his face again, I realized something very striking…. I’m over it. I’m actually pretty over it. And I mean everything. I still vent about it-sure but I don’t get those awful feelings in my stomach anymore when I’m around him and even when he does something to make me feel uncomfortable-like he did on Sunday- I bounce back quickly like it didn’t even hurt. I think I’m finally to the point that I can chalk up my date with this particular young guy as a bad a experience and move on.

*sigh* BOUT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was about to drive myself crazy with all this mess! But either way, I can finally dust myself off and say all’s well that ends well…or at least ok. Besides I got too much other stuff to worry about than some indecisive kid. There are more mature people out there of all ages, just waiting to date a gal like me. And I wanna make sure my mind is fully available (and not still wrapped up on this guy), when they get here! Time heals all wounds and a month is well over enough time to start to drop this. Plus it helps that he’ll be starting school again (thank goodness!) so I’ll only be seeing him like once a week instead of 4. We’ve got a trip up north this weekend and I’m fully prepared to be on a van with him for 8 hours… though I did buy a baseball cap to wear just in case I need to avoid eye contact with him! I’m hoping I won’t have to sink to that level but hey, if I do, whatever works!

Also now that my mind has cleared from all the smoke of ‘young adult new guy lust,’ looking back I realize that I may have for real scared ol’ Guns. I mean, there were a few times I was probably more assertive in my flirtations than I should have been. Verbally I would say things like “yeah you gotta be a real man to handle me!” And at the time, since he was lying about his experience I just figured it was good flirtations but now I’m like I probably made him wet himself saying all that crap! Especially considering he was making up half of his 'experience' just to impress me! He probably knew he was in too deep and had to jump ship before it sank. Just another wild guess… I seriously may never know. And now, I’m gonna stop caring. For real… HOLD ME TO IT!

So how goes this new young guy? The broke one? Hey, least you’re an attorney. You can help make up for his short comings financially but you know, he better at least cook or throw something in the skillet! The retail boy, ex-GF thing makes total sense! They probably weren’t even for real off, just on hiatus! Dude is crazy and missed out! His loss. He’ll regret it 1 day. They usually do.

Anybody else got any young guy horror stories?!? I know it can’t just be me and Deluxe!

August 7, 2008

MRevolver:

Boo on the not letting you PM! That's alright, I'll still be your friend even though you're not an "established member"! Can't they make an exception b/c although you've only made 11 posts, my are they lengthy ones. They should be equivalent to having made 50 posts!

Before I talk about the "Slap Heard Around The Retail Store" I experienced today, let's address the Slap Heard Around The World:

Wow! I am speechless!! He said all this AFTER you and he had a somewhat almost normal interactions with one another?! Maybe him acting normal was his way of making himself feel less emasculated, like, "see, I can handle myself around this one!" As for the speech, it is pure kaka!!!! Kaka, I tell you! He only said that to sound charming in his speech, to make it seem so much more genuine in terms of his happiness for the newly engaged couple! The arrogant bastard just wanted to hear himself talk! Blah blah blah for 3 minutes!!!! I am so proud of you for composing yourself! You obviously don't have anger management issues if you could hear that and not want to sock him in the face! But you know what, it's a good thing, now you know how ridiculously confused he is. He's a love bi-polar! He doesn't know what the hell he wants! Retail boy has told me before that he ALWAYS finds one thing wrong with a girl he's dated and then stops calling! Or course he reassured me that it wasn't the same with me since he's already been on TWO whole dates with me! Can I just gag? But you oh-so-cool! Time does heal all wounds!

Now, the Slap Heard Around the Retail Store: Well, right before I responded to you, I was at his store, and mind you I had been avoiding it for weeks! The last time I was there he was oh-so-charming, with his boyish charms turned WAY up! Then he called me the next day and flaked again, remember? Well, this time, MAJOR ATTITUDE! When I walked in, there was him and another chick at the register! And he saw me come in and DID NOT make any eye contact with me! Now is this a way to treat a customer, esp. one you've been so sweet with all these months?! He then goes into the backroom, tells the girl he's taking a break, and AVOIDS me! Now, I sense homegirl, cash register chick has the hots for him! And I don't think they are together or anything, probably just flirt with each other, but who knows, right, but she gave me ATTITUDE too when she rung me up! WTF?!! So I act extra sweet to her even though I so wanted to ask her what her problem was!!!!! Maybe he mentioned he went out on a date with me so she was mad, or maybe he was immature and in order to make himself feel better, told everyone how he had sex with me or something and that I was obsessed with him! Who knows!!!! But wow, seeing this other side of him, this jerkier, ******* side, you know, makes me feel better! It made me feel like Kaka for a second; I left the store pretty numb and sad, but then I got home, and I'm ok now! I'm glad he's a jerk!!! Everything sweet about him, all that connection, probably was based on absolutely NOTHING! This was probably the real him! He's crazy, plain and simple! Crazy, immature, rude! I don't even care to find out anymore. Had this been weeks ago, I would've probably been so hurt and having to hold in my tears or anger, but I bounced back quick!!!!

Yes, I am here to vent and that's part of my getting over him process, but I think I'm alright! I know I'm a great gal with a great personality, good looks, and I'm just so over this game playing, not knowing what they want drama!

You are right about there being tons of mature people of all ages out there ready to date cool gals like us! I have had enough as well; the only reason I came back was because I knew I was over him because of NC, but I wanted to know if I could be over him SEEING him and, him actually being RUDE to me (which I didn't expect), but EVEN then, I'm alright!!! Yay!!!! A month is a ridiculous amount of time for ME to be still hurt over it, but the way he was malicious with everything, really did hurt me because I was real with him and didn't play games with him! I thought he was a good person and wore my heart on my sleeve with him.

Yes, I scared mine too! I would even flirtatiously texted him in that manner, "Can you handle someone like me", which forced him to say things like "You'd have to be wheeled in the next day for work in a wheelchair when I'm through with you" and he probably couldn't live up to that! Plus all his friends are like 18 year old girls; he's barely out of college, he couldn't handle me! It probably made him feel almost overwhelmed and not himself so he decided to drop it for situations he was more comfortable in. That's all! And the way he handled things tonight showed me how immature he was and it was a TURN OFF! My roommate was absolutely right. He said, "Yes I know you're frustrated that things ended abruptly when you were still into him, but how long did you seriously think this was going to last? Even if it went to two or three months, he'd either pull a disappearing act then, or you'd be so sick of his immaturity! So nothing lost!" And I actually feel that now! So hold ME to it!

As for broke boy, well, I told him that we could go out and I wouldn't mind getting the bill as long as we did something back at the house, like him making me dinner, and he seemed cool with it, even suggested that, but to be honest with you, I think I was only into him because I needed that 15% in order to get over Retail Boy for good, which is unfair to him! So now that I've gotten over Retail Boy on my own, I think I need to be alone for now, just ME time for awhile, so I don't think it's going to go anywhere with Broke Boy!

As for Young Guns & Retail Boy, they will regret it one day; you're right, they always do, we'll get our redemption, but it'll be at a time where we will no longer care! Actually, I think we're already there!

Well, now that we are over our problems, I hope you don't stop posting here since I feel I've bonded with you over this last month and I sincerely thank you for getting me through this as well! Your theories, jokes, witty comments, they all helped! And I hope you don't disappear into the oblivion now that our problems are gone! So find a way to PM me or give me your AIM Screen Name or something!

And seriously, does ANYONE else have problems with younger guys or are we the only ones foolish enough to find out?!

August 12, 2008

You guys are funny. I don't think the problem is with a younger/older combo as much as with a really young guy or girl.

I married a guy who was 25 when I was 34, and it was all pursuit, pursuit pursuit by him the whole way.

Of course, he's my ex now, but . . .

It didn't have anything to do with the age difference.

August 12, 2008

You guys are funny. I don't think the problem is with a younger/older combo as much as with a really young guy or girl.

I married a guy who was 25 when I was 34, and it was all pursuit, pursuit pursuit by him the whole way.

Of course, he's my ex now, but . . .

It didn't have anything to do with the age difference.

I'm glad that me and Deluxe can make you laugh I've been laughing at myself for years now and it's always made me feel better in the long run.

As for what you said, I totally agree. I've mostly ever dated people younger than myself and have had several of these relationships work out. However with ol Doc Young Guns who is by far the youngest I've dated and approx. 8 years my junior, even despite some great chemistry, I just couldn't seem to make it work.

But once again, I feel his was more or less due to the fact that you know, he's 21 and just now really trying to start his life out by moving out of his parents house, getting his first real job and finishing school, etc. I just think we were at 2 different places in our lives and that moreso than age was a factor. You know...aside from that other chick in the picture

August 12, 2008

Forgive me LS forum...I'm afraid I have a long post!

Love Deluxe: The way your guy acted, is exactly how Doc Young Guns acted with me right before the split. My quick recap of the whole situation…We started hanging out just as friends in December on like a weekly basis: Me, him and his BFF, who I’m also close to. We eventually get to talking on the phone regularly once our attraction was outed (first part of March). It all came to a head 1 night when he was like "if I were a prince, would you be my princess?" So literally, that became our nicknames for each other. It was cute & goopy and I sopped up every mushy moment like a biscuit in some lard (I’m from KY...eventually everything is equated to biscuits and lard ). Our first official date was even more sappy and lovely. He was blushing, I was blushing…I’m swooning now just typing this! It was great! But soon after (as in that same week) he wound up leaving for a trip overseas. He called and wrote but when he returned he just started backing off. Now I know for a 110% fact that while there he wasn’t with anyone else, so I don’t know if he just had time to think about it or what but by the time he’d arrived home a few weeks later he was like a whole different person. I was thinking we were gonna pick up where we left off-he’d even said we were gonna pick up where we’d left off- but instead he became wishy-washy. He would go out of his way to plan stuff with me and then not show up! I finally stopped calling him but he would still call me everyday, all throughout the day. So finally I emailed him and was like "hey I don’t want you to feel pressured into a relationship; if it happens cool but if not, that’s cool too." And that seemed to work for a minute but before I could say flapjack, he was back to the washing machine. He’d ask if he could send me flowers, but then 2 days later make an excuse not to meet me for dinner. It became a nutty rollercoaster and rather than be one of the riders I was just sprawled out on the stinkin’ track itself wondering what hit! I mean how do I go from being your princess to your personal leper in just a few days??!? I kept looking behind me to see if maybe my limbs had actually fallen off due to some dreadful disease but nope, still on! I was indeed still the same person he’d seemingly fallen for from the get go, but for some reason he was totally and all of a sudden different…umm correction…indifferent!

This leads me to 4 theories:

1) Maybe they really were scared of us! You said it and honestly I’ve thought it. I mean here you are a 29 year old, hip, young lawyer and there he is a 20 year old computer kid almost fresh outta high school. I mean you probably intimidated the crap out of him! He probably is looking at your age, job and where you are in life and feeling that though he’s attracted to you, he has remotely nothing to offer...at least, not anytime soon. So maybe he’s just trying to put it out of his mind because he feels like he for real, doesn’t stand a chance in the long run. Same for my friend. One night while we were talking on the phone, he alluded to the fact he was sexually experienced. It shocked me at first considering how virginal he seemed but I was like "well maybe he is." However later that week as I was talking to his BFF, it came up and she was like "He’s not experienced!" and just went into complete hysterical laughter at the shear thought of him even getting a remote piece of nookie. So I of course was dumbfounded by the fact that he’d try to lie, when suddenly it came to me. Why would he lie and pretend he was on my level, if he didn’t like me?! It’s like rather than remotely indicate he was pure and ‘disappoint’ me, he was trying to impress me into thinking he was this wild lust teapot (he’s too young to be a sexpot and thus the tea notion)! I further got the intimidation vibe, when on another occasion (after he’d begun acting peculiar) when he said "you’re a homeowner and here I haven’t even really had my own place ever!" So the only thing I could fathom was that yes, he really didn’t feel he had anything to offer me. And think about when you said your guy was kissing you and saying "what did I do to deserve this? I’m just a 20 year old kid." Maybe he for real was thinking that. He probably went home that night, sat on his bed and thought “how can somebody with their stuff together be interested in lil’ ol me?” And then he probably stuck his head under his pillow like an ostrich and cried. Fight or flight kicked in and it was just easier for them to avoid us than admit that they’d probably never be on our level…at least not anytime soon. Makes sense I think. And honestly, maybe that’s why he keeps calling. He wants to like you and does but there’s still that hesitation because you are at 2 different walks of life. And so he backs off again. Nobody’s fault. Just the way it is. Most guys wanna feel that their lady’s need them in some way, shape or form but where you’re already established, he probably feels he’s got nothing to bring to your table. So ok, that’s Theory 1.

Theory 2…it really was all about the thrill of the chase and once he caught you, it wasn’t nearly as 'cool' anymore. Young Guns had been into me since August of last year. I finally give in; show some interest, then after a good solid month and a half of actual dating! He bails. You’d been frequenting your guy’s place of employment so he’d probably been scooping you for awhile and wishing. Then once he finally got your attention, it boosted his ego, he started thinking he was all that and before you could stop your head from spinning at his cute-quirky ways, he was over it. I could totally see this being the case as well.

Theory 3… And I'm kinda agreeing with Lovely Disaster's theory (yet really hoping this wasn’t the case) in that we were not the only ones who caught their eye. Your guy was 20, mine 21, both just really starting out in life and trying to find themselves and their place in the sun. Think how many guys at that age just wanna play the field? See what the world has to offer?? They probably looked at us and figured, "them brawds is ready to settle down." Even though we conveyed the opposite-at least verbally, they probably didn’t believe a word we said. They probably saw the age and were like "I can’t wear that tux yet" and went seeking out a safer bet. I can totally picture yours being as hot as you said he is, chatting up some girls or being chatted up by some girls, after his Batman movie. And mine of course, well, he is trying to talk to someone else, who looking back, may have been in the picture all along. So there ya go. Maybe your retail boy liked you well enough not to wanna hit it and quit it but at the same time, he wasn’t ready to be yours (or anyone else’s) 1 and only. By no means am I a doctor (especially not of love-ha!) but that’s all I can come up with from both our situations.

4) And my final Theory for why we got the big blooming shaft… because they’re crazy! Plain and simple. They escaped from a looney bin and are nuts! I used to work with mental patients…seriously…so I outta know! Blah! I should have just stuck with Big Copper Gyration! His dancing didn’t make sense (or how he flat handedly palmed me in the chest once it was over…yeah that’s how he got me to lie on the bed…) but I mean, it was far less confusing than this! And at least that was somewhat amusing! This is downright lame

Honestly, I don’t think it’s necessarily the rejection part that gets us as much as the fact that of all the people TO reject us, it was them! Here was this person with whom you had a connection, who was so sweet with these walloping yards of potential. I mean, he was probably the last person you’d have expected to pull some kind of messed up disappearing act, not once, but like twice! I mean if anyone had a right to “just say no” and pull the plug, by golly it was you, not him! I know that’s how I felt at least. I told Guns in my last email to him after our split that I felt he would have never acted or treated any other girl that way, so I didn’t know why he’d done so to me. And I still feel like that. I mean, I know this girl he tried to date back in the day when he was 18 (she was 28), and he didn’t remotely pull this crap with her and they had even more of an age difference! So I mean, if he was gonna go do something dumb and immature, you’d think it would’ve been then, right!?!? But nope, they ended things like normal people and are still great friends. But yet here I am, getting no respect even despite my respecting him and even going as far as to try to give him space when it seemed he wanted it. Yet when I pulled away, he was like “no. Don’t do that.” So things would go good again but then by the next week, back to the same drama. It’s like “you don’t want me near, you don’t want me far, well then what do you want?!?!”

My game is gonna stay as fore stated. Back to no contact as much as possible. Just Sunday he was doing his best to be around me and then on last night I even noticed he’s no longer parking beside me (we’ve always parked together at church)! It’s ridiculous! And we’re by no means pathetic. We’re just normal people with feelings. Guns may not have had a lot to offer me right now but dude’s future looked impeccably bright and I just hate the fact I won’t be part of it. I hate we will not have our next official date or that I will never be able to take him to that Chinese restaurant I wanted to. That we won’t be having anymore great conversation or getting giddy just from being in each other’s presence…*sigh* precious memories… lingering like old flatulence

Once again, sorry I’ve written a book with this post but you know…had to let it out! Deluxe, thanks for the song. If I ever pursue comedy 1 day, I’m gonna specifically use quotes from it in my show!

First of all I have to say you have a lovely sense of humor. I think your #1 Theory is it personally. I was in your young guns position once. I was in love with a 27 attorney and I was just a little 22 yo secretary at the time. I fell for him instantly for him and we dated a month. It occured to me that I had nothing at all to offer him, we were in two different classes and I felt I could never catch up, he owned a home I could barely pay for my apartment. To sum it all up every time I was around him I felt so insecure and was constantly wondering what the heck he saw in me. I started to avoid his phone calls and bascially hide from him because I wanted to get over him and move on. I am a woman and felt that way so I can imagine how a guy would feel in his position.

August 12, 2008

First of all I have to say you have a lovely sense of humor. I think your #1 Theory is it personally. I was in your young guns position once. I was in love with a 27 attorney and I was just a little 22 yo secretary at the time. I fell for him instantly for him and we dated a month. It occured to me that I had nothing at all to offer him, we were in two different classes and I felt I could never catch up, he owned a home I could barely pay for my apartment. To sum it all up every time I was around him I felt so insecure and was constantly wondering what the heck he saw in me. I started to avoid his phone calls and bascially hide from him because I wanted to get over him and move on. I am a woman and felt that way so I can imagine how a guy would feel in his position.

Thank you for the compliment and for your perspective on my Theory #1. I too think that had a lot to do with what happenend. When I dated an older guy (the one referred to The Mad Copper Gyration in my previous posts), I felt very intimidated. I was 21 and he was like 28 and I remember the first time I met his roommate I just felt like this stupid school girl with nothing to say. He would constantly invite me out to dinner with his friends and I would make excuses not to go cause I really thought they'd think I was just some silly kid. Thankfully though it worked out cause he wound up being quite odd but still... And even though Doc Young Guns is now talking to this other girl who's my same age, still, the intimidation probably isn't there with her cause she just finished school herself, just moved into a new apartment, is pretty 'pure' etc. She's still much more on his level naturally speaking than I could ever be. So once again, this could totally be it. Thanks for the insight!

August 12, 2008

Deluxe:

Man, I cannot believe the nerve of Retail Boy. I mean whatever?!?! He should be thankful you even wanna walk in his store and acknowledge him considering all the crap he’s previously pulled!! Dude is a grand chuckwagon fo’ sure! He’s probably trying to play it all big and bad because he knows that he couldn’t handle a relationship with you! They’d have to “wheel you in with a wheelchair once he was through with you?!?” YEAH RIGHT! Once he got done you’d probably be able to come in not only walking but turning flips and somersaults! He’d probably have to be the 1 wheeled in just from passing out at the fear of not being able to deliver! What a lame-o. By ignoring you, he was just trying to make it like you were all over him to make himself feel better. And as for that other chick, WHATEVER! You could probably run circles around that girl in intelligence and couth. She probably doesn’t even know why she was being rude to you in the first place!! Because he said so?!?! Is she that ridiculous that she can’t think for herself and determine her own actions!?!? Whatever! Bunch of school children and we are not even trying to play recess with anyone or their stupid little games. Age doesn’t even have anything to do with it anymore. These people just aren’t mature! They probably can’t even spell it! What a pack of looney toons! You do not need that and totally deserve someone better and more mature!

As for myself, I’m happy to report I made it through my 8 hour trip with Young Guns! That baseball cap was by far one of the best ideas I’ve had in a long time. He wound up riding on the other bus, so that helped. But as usual, when we were around each other he began throwing me some stank mixed signals even despite his grand proclamation last week of not being able to find “the one” (for which he really should be glad I’m not the same gal I used to be cause I would have beat him with a nice sterdy 2x4). for the last several days he’s been randomly complimenting me and I don’t mean like once or twice, I mean ALL WEEK. And then over the weekend he asked if maybe we could go to this poetry thing together in the next few weeks?!? I played it off and was like “yeah maybe A GROUP of us could go” but either way that was Friday. By Saturday however he was all up under the other girl again and barely speaking to me. Thus leaving me to cover my face with my outstanding, new baseball cap as originally planned. I really think he needs a hobby aside from making me crazy…er. He flip flops more than a pancake! Maybe I need to change his name to El Grande Flap Jack King or El Grand Flake Out… just food for thought. Thankfully though, I’m still not as bothered by it all as I had been. I had a quick relapse of “why me” when he and her first started canoodling in my face again but then like a bold shoulder, I pulled down my cap, brushed my sadness away and zoned out to some holy grooves. I refuse to let him destroy me. What’s worse is to be honest-he and that other girl could really be the ones for each other. I mean Guns and I by all means had great chemistry but those 2 are like bread and honey butter. Meaning, they just click. They play off each other exceptionally well and it all just seems to flow when they’re together. So who could blame him for seeking out her companionship? Granted…the way he went about it was really wrong and old folks ugly but hey… it is what it is I guess. More power to em.

In regards to Broke Boy, hey, at least he was there to help you get past those lingering woes. I wish I was so fortunate. Small town Kentucky doesn’t leave to many pickings…except for like tobacco and corn but you know… So in the meantime while I await Mr. For Real I’m Right For You to come along, I’m hoping I can just better myself… and honestly I feel I have. It’s just 1 day at a time. Also I love what your roommate said. I mean seriously, how long could things really last with someone as immature as those 2?? Better to have them jump ship now, than later.

Either way though, I’m really glad we’ve made it this far. I’m so glad I did that search for “younger guys” and found your thread cause by no means could I have gotten through this as well as I have without you. As forestated I hate that we had to be their older women guinea pigs in a sense but man it sure did help having someone fun to talk to while weathering the storm. So yes, by all means I will continue posting and we WILL keep in touch. After all, I gotta have someone to tell about when I meet my next young honey right?! Haha. So here’s an idea, see if you can PM me your contact info sense you’re established and if not, I’ll get to thinking on a plan in which I can try to send you mine. Haha. Buds for life! Viva La Loveshack!

August 15, 2008

You are absolutely correct. Imagine it the other way around?! I'm the 29 year old attorney and he's a 20 year old retail store clerk?! Imagine how intimidating this must have been to him, esp. when men are still expected to be the more established and experienced of the two partners?! So theory #1 makes a lot of sense! MRevolver is a genuis! lol Thanks for sharing your story with us!

First of all I have to say you have a lovely sense of humor. I think your #1 Theory is it personally. I was in your young guns position once. I was in love with a 27 attorney and I was just a little 22 yo secretary at the time. I fell for him instantly for him and we dated a month. It occured to me that I had nothing at all to offer him, we were in two different classes and I felt I could never catch up, he owned a home I could barely pay for my apartment. To sum it all up every time I was around him I felt so insecure and was constantly wondering what the heck he saw in me. I started to avoid his phone calls and bascially hide from him because I wanted to get over him and move on. I am a woman and felt that way so I can imagine how a guy would feel in his position.

August 15, 2008

MRevolver:

First of all, congrats for surviving the 8 hour ride with pancake boy El Grande Flap Jack King! I am starting to think dude suffers from a multiple personality disorder: One is in love with you, one is in love with other chick, and one is still looking for "the one"! You just never know which personality will appear when! Good theory right?! I'm no doctor, but I know a multiple personality when I see one! So one of his personalities wanted a date with you to a poetry reading?! See? I'm convinced he's nuts and whenever that personality comes around, he's ready to be with you again! Maybe dating him should be like a time share. You get a third of the time, girl gets 1/3, and when he finds "the one", she shares a 1/3 of his time too! Although not knowing whether he splits his personalities into equal 1/3s timewise, I can see the 3 of you being bitter if one personality shows up less than the other two! Now now ladies, no need to fight!

As for your realization that those two are a better couple - woah, girl, that shows you are WAY over him! So yes, when bread boy and honey butter girl canoodle in front of your face, I'm sure that's no picnic in the park, but you bounce back so beautifully, I'm proud of ya!

As for retail boy, I am convinced now he was intimidated! He talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk! Makes sense to me because of what StillAFool wrote about being in love with a 27 year old attorney when she was 22, feeling intimidated, and then pushing him away! I'm a 29 year old attorney, and he's a 20 year old retail boy, and me, the female, is the more accomplished and older of the two of us! Hmmm....must've scared him just a tad bit - just enough to feel that fight or flight, causing him to run far far far away!!!! He was probably sprinting - probably could've snagged the gold medal with that dash! I mean, this boy would break out in a blush attack whenever I would even talk to him (maybe he's allergic to me because he turns red! that would explain everything!), and when he first saw me, couldn't keep his jaw off the ground!

Oh by the way, something happened that I was TOTALLY unprepared for! So I stopped by retail store last night and he was not there! Granted I have been avoiding that place somewhat, and was a bit pissed off by his playground antics/shenanigans the last time I was there, but then I found out HE LEFT, as in no longer works there! Woah, for some reason, I WAS NOT prepared for that! My heart sank just a bit because although I knew nothing would transpire between the two of us, perhaps a part of me secretly hoped that we could at least be civil one day, and perhaps he could give me the answer I was seeking! But NOOOOOO, jerk is gone and I will NEVER see him again and NEVER know why he did what he did! It was abrupt, a little disheartening, but I bounced back! What does it matter, right?! It's a chapter in my life totally worth closing, actually should've been closed weeks ago! But he knew he was leaving and acted like a total douche to me last time I was there! Good riddance! His true personality was reflected in his immature behavior and I am glad things didn't work out!!!! With that said, I'm not going to lie, I did feel a twinge of sadness.....

I have to tell myself I will NEVER see him again, NEVER get my answer, but that I have to be alright with that! And I think I am.....

And thank YOU for helping me through this situation! I honestly don't know how I could've gotten through this alone either. Your posts made me laugh, nod my head in agreement, scream, "Oh hell no" many times to myself, and gave me so many "Aha" moments that I don't know how I could have gotten through this alone! So thank you, and yes, buds for life!!!!

As for PM'ing you, being that you are a lowly non established member, I can't even initiate a PM with you either! Loveshack is elitist! lol So what's a girl to do?! Let's work out a way!!!!

August 19, 2008

Booo Loveshack! Now I’ve got to think of a creative way to give LoveDeluxe my contact info. Initiating my thinking cap…and booties. I want booties to match my cap

Deluxe:

HAHAHA! I can’t believe you referred to Guns as a Timeshare! Laugh, laugh, LAUGH! Sad thing is, that’s about what it feels like! He’s been all up in my face last few days and even slipped in a couple of calls just to ‘ask’ some random questions (go figure...) but I just don’t know. I wish I were really over the whole situation but alas, every now and then it still stings. I saw the beautiful Coach wallet he brought for that other chick while he was overseas (did I ever tell you that story?) and either way, I completely flipped out! I was like "the nerve," especially considering he brought me paintbrushes...but whatever! I really think now I’m to the point I just want to let this whole thing go and give up but it’s so hard! I still feel like he should give me some kind of explanation or an apology at least. Other day he was all flirting and I just wanted to grab him and say “so now that we’re on good terms again, why’d you act like that??” I didn’t of course but man, I wanted to! Like to the point my leg was shaking and eye twitching. Things are especially hard when he starts throwing out these stupid mixed signals. I just keep trying to tell myself that he is not the same person I once fell for and that this new person- and all 10 of his other personalities- are crazy! WHICH! Before I forget, the other day while at dinner with some friends, he was completely flirting with me. You would have for real thought I was the best thing since Wonder Bread (which I am but you know...) but here’s the kicker. As we were leaving, I literally heard his BFF tell him to “watch himself” in regards to flirting with me!!! So yes! Perhaps she really DID have something to do with him suddenly changing his mind about me! I just pretended I didn’t hear a thing and kept walking to my car. That next day, I debated whether or not to question her about it but figured why bother? Dude’s still a flake regardless and even moreso, a flake who doesn’t seem to know who or what he wants. It’s like if you’re so wrapped up on this other girl (who he is still completely all over and parking beside again), well then just leave me be! I told my mom that maybe his ‘flirtiness’ was just his way of trying to be my friend again and that he really didn’t see it as flirting at all. That or maybe he is just trying to use me to make that other girl jealous and want him more. You just never know with guys. Whatever’s going on, it probably won’t be for much longer as he is returning to school end of this week (an hour and a half away). I'll now only see him on weekends. Kinda sad but probably for the best. And while I’m on the subject of depatures...

I’m sorry to here about Retail Boy’s disappearing “finale.” I feel like this will be a good thing for you in the long run but at the same time, I do know that overwhelming need for closure that can sometimes come about. How’d you find out he was gone for good? Honestly, given his randomness I’ve got a feeling that this probably won’t be the last you hear from him. It wouldn’t surprise me 1 bit if he just up and calls you 1 day out of the blue like he’s been doing. Truth is often stranger than fiction after all... Also, I completely agree with StillAFool- that intimidation was more than likely the main factor in his freakout. Like I was telling her in 1 of my previous posts, I was the same way when I was dating Mad Copper Gyration. He would invite me out all the time for dinner with him and his friends but I'd be like “ummm I’ll pass.” I wanted to go (cause I mean even though a little strange, he was nice and I wanted to give him a fair chance sans disco ball ) but every time I’d think about me sitting around with him and a bunch of “old” people, I’d panic! I kept thinking they’d think I was some silly little school girl or something, so I would just avoid the situations altogether. And then when I finally did suck it up and meet 1 of his friends, I still felt like 3 inches tall (figuratively and literally, as they were both well over 6’ and I’m only 5’1) and it was just awful. I kept trying to figure out what his friends 'gaze' meant and stuff...just bad! And who can form a relationship with that kind of insecurity?? Retail boy probably thought ahead to those same type of scenarios and just couldn’t take it. I’m sure he still thinks that you’re a great girl (cause HELLO, you are!) but he just knew he couldn’t deliver at least not anytime soon. It’s just easier for these guys to run to someone they feel is more on their level…it’s just more comfortable and who can really blame them?? I can't but man I wish they’d just get over that mess and come back to MOMA!!!!! LOL Retail Boy could talk the talk but couldn’t walk the walk…he couldn’t even crawl it! He was just too intimidated by your age, career, etc. He needed to feel like the Grand King Weiney next to you, but deep down knew that he could only ever be Little Man Vienna in BBQ sauce. And you my dear are worth SO much more than a tiny sausage. We both are...WHICH HEY! Maybe they have older brothers we can date?!?! Now that there’s a thought!

August 21, 2008

MRevolver:

Ok, so I'll jump right into this post and ask myself: What the heck is my problem?! I still have not completely gotten Retail Boy out of my system! And yes, he's gone for good, quit the job, pouf once again! (I knew b/c I straight up asked "what happened to the boy who worked here"! lol) What is this boy, Houdini reincarnated as an awkward, slouching, yet devilishly handsome retail (ex) store clerk - the king of grand escapes?! I want my answer dammit!!!! lol I want a little redemption... lol It's not even about wanting him anymore, it's about wanting a reason or two - we all watch those CSI shows, imagine if it ended without knowing who killed who and who did what, etc., etc.... No one would watch it right?! We'd all throw our hands up in frustration, right?! Well, that's what I'm feeling, this perpetual, "WTF happened" combined with some "What could have beens" equals a lingering pesty feeling of annoyance!!! So surprisingly I've been a bit down this last week! Hahahaha about the Little Man Vienna in BBQ sauce! Sad thing is, if he hadn't been so intimidated, I would have gone out of my way to make him feel like Grand King Weiney. I wonder if this is the end between him and I..like forever?!

As for Pancake King/Young Guns, a Coach wallet? Woah, that one personality of his likes to pamper a woman! As for the chick he bought it for, wait, was this the sabotager or the chick he's kinda seeing - the older one?! Yes, I feel like Retail Boy owes me an explanation too, but yours really owes you one, I mean, you guys had been attached at the hip for a few months, right?! So to this day, he NEVER told you why he just got up and left like that?! And I don't understand why he can't just be nice and civil with you without being flirtatious! There's a huge difference between friendly and flirty, geeze, is he crazy?! I don't know how you managed to NOT shake him like a rag doll and ask him "WHY" and "WTF is your problem kid?" lol Maybe you should just ask him one day! But that depends on which personality is active at the time! He may just say, "Huh, what? We've never dated!" Nuts I tell you, just plain old Planters salted nuts!!!!

I have checked and unfortunately retail boy has no older brothers! lol And yes, sometimes I do feel "sorry" for him because there are so many things I could do to that boy - he could be having the time of his life right now, with me, of course, but no, he decides to stick to his comfort zone! Sigh! Sometimes people don't know what's good for them, right?! Just like Pancake King - he could be having the time of his life right now!

Alright, still trying to find a way to contact you off here 'cause I have pix you will probably want to see! It's good to have a visual to all the characters here as well - yes people, all the weird casts of characters (including ourselves) are real live people! lol What a shocker!

So until next time my friend, hang in there on that rollercoaster that is young guns and hold your ground! You will survive! As for me, I'm trying to get off that rollercoaster as fast as I can, but I may have to jump off!

August 22, 2008

L.D.-

Girl don’t panic! Those “what ifs” are deadly but we will get through it! If it makes you feel better I’m in the same boat right now. I was working on my Hope Chest the other day (I call mine a ‘Treasure Box’ as I gave up hope for marriage long, long ago), when I got all bummed. It’s like I’ve always had this ‘list’ of traits I’d want in my dream guy and Guns is literally the only person who’s ever come close to having just about all of them! I looked so forward to doing all this great stuff with him but now I’m distraught cause that may never happen!

On Weds night he came out to my PT job to visit his friend as usual, when she disappeared in the back. I just figured he’d follow her like normal but instead he stood there, talking and joking with me for a half hour, count ‘em, a whole 30 minutes!! And what did I feel?? That’s right-that wonderful ‘connection’ we’d always shared. Every other sentence was “oh yeah I feel that same way” or “oh me too!” I finally couldn’t take anymore and told him I needed to get back to work. Later that night, all 3 of us went to dinner (at his suggestion and yes I’m a glutton for punishment) and while there you know what he asked me? Where I would like to settle down and how many children I wanted!?!? I mean why does he even care given he apparently wants no part in my future! I just don’t get it. I have dated a plethora of guys…a bamboozling shambles of men-folk: all sizes, shapes and colors but I just can’t seem to shake this one! Plus I’m ticked because he still just won’t come out and say “yes I’ve moved on and there will never be a chance.” It’s like just go ahead and pulverize my feelings so I can suck it up and drive, cause right now when I’m with him and we’re all giddy, its like false hope. I’m really starting to wonder if he’s really even flirting or if I’m just so desperate to have him back I’m concocting things to analyze. He and this other girl (yes she is the 1 he brought the wallet for. The possible sabotager got Dolce & Gabbana shoes) had been friends for longer than me and him so I just don’t get why he didn’t just pursue her in the first place. And while I’m on it, let’s talk about this wallet (see thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t161910/) Here recently whenever I see the stupid thing, I go bananas! We’re talking batter dipped and deep fried, at the State Fair plantain type of bananas! It’s like it just sits there- taunting me with its cutesy pattern and saying “look he picked her over you. You got paintbrushes.” So then what do I do?? I go home, look at those fantastic, hand crafted, little weasel haired beauties and imagine myself painting unsightly sayings and graveyard depictions all over his baby-like face! So there it is. My dream relationship- deferred. A raisin in the sun. All black and crispy…and well since I’m on a roll, what else sucks???

So I tried to get past these feelings via another guy the other day: El Quieto. Very attractive but way quiet. So I spend a whole day getting to know him (we too have been acquaintances for awhile)…but nothing! Not even half of what I felt for Guns. People used to tell me all the time that El Quieto could potentially be the 1 for me. Some said they just ‘felt it’! But wrong people! Nothing. So once again I was discouraged. He was for real like my last hope. Remember, I am from a small town in KY. You know how often I see new faces?!?! Just whenever a calf is born and that’s about it! And well I can’t date a calf… or could I?!! I can just see it now, me and my old ‘man’ Cow Pattie, riding off into the sunset together to the theme from ‘Rawhide!’ God help me I’m loosing it! Guns and Retail Boy can’t just up and leave without giving us something! An explanation-an apology- do it through Hallmark for all I care-but just something! Heck I’d take a text message! But nothing??? Uncool gang….simply uncool.

So ok, time for our weekly reality check, so hold my hand as I say this...

*ahem* if Retail Boy and Guns really wanted to get back together with us, they’d be calling. Plain and simple. Now, do I still think that Retail Boy- that winged bird of a ‘man’ will up and call again 1 day like nothing’s the matter? I most Certainly do. But as of right now, he ain’t. And as for Guns, Same principle. So what that he asked about going to the poetry thing with me and wanted to know how many little bean poles I want to pop out 1 day? Big stinkin’ whoop. He is still only calling or texting Wallet girl. So point is there is no use in us still clinging to these lame-o’s who so obviously are no longer interested or at least not enough to pursue anymore. So there it is mi compadre. We apparently both need to jump (much like this hoppy bunny ) off the rollercoaster…now hand me a tissue. I need to wipe away these last remnants of delusion before I end these final stages of mourning

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