poppie Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 It's been 24 days since i broke up with my partner and it was day 23 of NC.It was the most stupidest break up ever all over in 30 mins flat! It been very very hard but i am getting there slowly. Yesterday was my daughters 18th birthday, out of the blue i got a call from my ex (he is not her father) to say that he has got her a birthday card with some money and will pop it in Friday (he has been at sea with the Royal Navy for nearly a month). His Mum and dad life 5 mins from me and he is coming back Friday to stay with them for the night. It will be the first time he has been in the area since we broke up nearly a month ago. My first answer was yes that is ok, pop it in Friday but in my heart i knew that that would only lead to more pain on my part and told him that it would just be too hard to see him at the moment, that if he wanted to talk about things then that was fine but other than that i could not see him. He agreed to drop it through the letterbox while i was at work Saturday. When we broke up i questioned whether we were doing the right thing. he thought we were. Today in the call he asked how i was i said i had good days and bad days. He agreed he had the same. He was speaking as if nothing had ever happened telling me what he had being doing and so what.Now he says he does not know what he wants and that's the problem. I was shocked, i didn't know what to say really. All i could answer was "what will be will be" if we are meant to be together then somehow we will be, if not then we won't. That if we stayed apart that it would be nice to be friends somewhere down the line (i am still very friendly with his mum, sister etc) but at the moment that that was just not possible. I am so confused, why do this to me now just as i was starting to feel a bit better after 2 weeks of crying?
critter909 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Why did you break up? Would you want to be with him again?
Author poppie Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 After 5 and a half years he suddenly became unsure whether he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, he said he did not know if he wanted family life or reponsibility. I am not sure if i want him back or not, part of me does but part of me doesn't.
critter909 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 That's rough then, if you knew you wanted him you should see him but since you are unsure... I sort of feel like this, if your feelings aren't strong enough to know then you are probably moving on and shouldn't see him, go NC and let it go. I can tell you about myself, I love mine so much that I would not pass up any opportunity to see him, talk to him and possibly have some connection with him.
Author poppie Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 I know exactly what you mean, i would like nothing more than to see him that's why i said yes to start with, my heart skipped a beat and my stomach did flip flops. However my head told me that it was a bad idea, i feel i have come along way since then early days and seeing him would set me back. He still does not know what he wants and nothing i say or do is going to change that, he needs time to work it all out. If i was to see him then when he left (which he would) it would be like breaking up all over again, i don't want to go through that. I am just not strong enough yet.
critter909 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Well there is your answer then, you shouldn't see him
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