Author backto1 Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Thanks for the replies. I can definitely feel the progress but I'm still going through the ups and downs. This forum has been major help.
Author backto1 Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Here is how I am trying to re-center: I am trying very hard to counter the good memories with others. I spent a day here by myself before he arrived, and I spent time at an orphanage and driving past a number of townships. It was good, but tough and heartbreaking to see how little material wealth most people have, yet also seeing tremendous wealth amongst a few (western tourists among them). Yet I was never able to talk through what I had experienced with E because he simply can't relate to it. Has nothing to offer in such a conversation. Remember, this is Mr. No Empathy and Mr. Shallow. We did have a great time eating, drinking, rock climbing, sightseeing. The sex was fantastic. I miss that stuff, a lot. But it was all surface stuff. S Africa is an amazing place for all its history and race relations and its peaceful transition to democracy. But did we have a single conversation about any of that the whole time we were here? No. Even then, I felt like I was censoring myself, holding back on things that interest ME because I knew he would never relate to, or particularly care, about how others live their lives. This is a quote from another thread. This is how it was talking with my ex! She didn't care about anything like that...she always got so bored when I'd see something and say things like "damn, I just can't imagine that there were actually people there living and dying thousands of years ago" or if I'd look up at the sky at night and make some comment about the size of the universe. Absolutely no connection. It was always about work, other people, social situations, etc...
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