FoolishAva Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 My situation isn't really a "dating" situation but I wanted to post here where I thought I could get the best chance for some advice. I have a coworker who I developed feelings for. We are both in our twenties and have become good work friends. At one point I thought maybe the feeling was mutual, but for whatever reason he never pursued me, even when I expressed interest. So I let it go and just enjoyed our friendship. I'm moving out of state in less than 1 month and I feel hurt. He acts like he doesn't even care that I'm leaving. I don't really understand. Even if he doesn't have romantic feelings for me, I feel like he should care a little. Since I told him I was moving (about 3 weeks ago) he seemed to distance himself a little from me, for a week or 2. He eventually came back around, being talkative again but now he is very sarcastic. I don't understand. Today I asked him what he would do without me (when I'm gone) and he says "I can hold down the fort until someone else is hired" wtf? I told him he was being insensitive. He didn't say anything. He never acted like that before. I feel that even as a "friend" he should care a little. What gives?
Enema Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Sounds like he may have had something for you, but now he knows you're moving and there's no chance for it happening, he's started moving on mentally. Showing that he cares wouldn't accomplish anything except possibly make him seem desperate, so he's avoiding.
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Enema's right; while you're physically preparing to move, he's mentally preparing for it. If he starts cutting ties now, it'll make the situation easier for him to deal with when you're gone. If he did show he cared, would you stay? Probably not. I don't think his comment was meant as a snide remark; it was probably the logical answer. What you meant to say was "how will you as a person feel when I'm gone" and what he heard was "how will the company operate at current capacity in my absence". It's just one of those lovely differences between men and women. Funny enough, I'm going through almost the exact same thing right now. A girl I like and did ask out, to no avail, is leaving as of tomorrow. I'm fairly certain I know why she's making the move (her skills have vastly outgrown this place) and nothing I can say will stop her, so the only thing that trying could accomplish is to make me look pathetic. That won't get me anywhere, so there's no point in it.
blondiepants Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I guess he wasn't interested in you after all. If he was interested in you, he would have made a move. I dont understand why people write back things like "He must have been into you, and is sad you're leaving!" when it is clear that he wasn't ever into you... just accept that he wasn't interested.
daphne Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 ava, I didn't gt the impression from your post that he was ever interested. I think that's why his response wasn't what you had hoped. It seems like your'e upset that he doesn't have feelings, but all the same you have wishful thinking. The best approach, is to accept that he's not interested in you. Then tell yourself that he must really be stupid if he doesn't realize what a hottie you are. A little narcissism helps you put an unrequited crush in perspective.
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