Simon Leon Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I asked her out for a quick bite. Hopefully she isn't coming out of guilt. Just going to try to play it cool and keep it light. Any advise from girls on this board would be appreciated. I hope this will turn out to be an ok evening and dosn't get heavy at all. Not going to mention the split or the relationship at all. Going to do some miditation just before I go to get as relaxed as possible.
Author Simon Leon Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 I knew you would say that. God blessed you with an unusual amout of optimism.
kizik Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I'm not being rhetorical. Are you trying to get back together? Or did you feel like poking yourself in your chest with a dinner fork? B/c that's the emotional effect you'll achieve by dining with her.
Peter_pan Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 oh right, well good luck. rather you than me buddie!! that would be my ideal of a nightmare with my ex at least.
Author Simon Leon Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 We were married for over 10 yrs....and been seperated for 7 wks. I've had longer vacations then that. I'm really hoping that we can both get through this. I don't believe in rehashing old wounds. A fresh start would be great by me. We have no kids and are both very high quality people. It would be difficult for either of us to replace the other very easily.
Peter_pan Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 oh i see well in that case i hope you have a nice meal. 10 years is a long time. did she leave you for someone or ? sorry i didnt know the story
Author Simon Leon Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 I don't really know why she left. I think she just went mad. I asked her if mental illness ran in her family. Her parents seem fine...maybe she is adopted??
Peter_pan Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 lol well i hope you are doing the right thing now then
Author Simon Leon Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Well.....if it goes poorly.....you guys can ridicule me all you want. I'll let you know.
sid3 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Your right about not wanting to talk about the problems, good idea to keep it lite. Hopefully things will work out. There's plenty of other people out there that do manage to work things out. It could take some time. I think going open minded and with modest expectations would be wise.Good luck
Author Simon Leon Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Well.....that went remarkably well. Lots of laughing, giggling and acting kinda stupid like kids. Didn't mention anything negative at all. Left with a hug, a quick peck and I quickly drove away. I won't e-mail her for at least a week.
Ronni_W Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Well.....that went remarkably well. Lots of laughing, giggling I won't e-mail her for at least a week. Glad to hear it went well. Now, why would you want to STOP the flow of laughing and giggling by doing something like not letting her know, asap, that you were delightfully surprised at how much enjoyed yourself? Send flowers & chocolates, for goodness sake, if that feels an even 25% "good" next step to take (though, of course, it depends on your true goals and desires.) Otherwise, you're just giving her "at least a week" to realize all over again that her decision to leave was a solid one. Which is fine...if that's what you really want(?) EDIT TO ADD: Not to ask for another get-together, mind you. Just to say, "had a better time than I expected" -- there is mystery & intrigue in that, but you're not just all of a sudden AWOL after mutual "laughing and giggling" -- THAT comes of as more 'mental' <LOL>
sid3 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I'd say no way to the flowers and chocolates. That is way too much. Why push. Letting her know you enjoyed seeing her is fine, something you shouldn't wait a week to do. Patience, patience, patience
Author Simon Leon Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 I'm not the flowers/chocolates kind of guy....and that would be kinda pushy in this situation. When I push..she pulls away. Everytime I see her...I'm going to leave her with a good impression and leave on a positive note. I don't think waiting a week before contacting her is a problem. She is wanting some space....so some space is what I'm going to give her. We lived with each other for over 10 yrs.....there is no way she is going to forget who I am. Every time she see's me, she is going to be reminded of what I'm like when I'm at my best. I am going to become more attractive then I was when we first met...and hopefully she will become attracted to me again. I am already in better shape then I have been in many years. She even said that I look like I am thriving (kinda weird statement....I think it was ment to be a complement). There is absolutely no reason to rush this process.
jon01 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I'm not the flowers/chocolates kind of guy.... Send it to Peter_Pan instead.
Ronni_W Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I'm not the flowers/chocolates kind of guy.... There is absolutely no reason to rush this process. My apologies -- I really didn't do a good job of making myself clear, earlier. I wasn't suggesting to rush, nor do anything that would appear 'weird' or out of character, nor do anything that you already know would not promote your goals. It's just my own filter that when I hear someone say, "I'm not contacting him/her for [some arbitrary amount of time]", it just sounds like head-games...and I don't know too many women (or men?) who are into being on the other side of that. So...I was really just suggesting to not do head-games (*IF* that is what you were doing ~ not saying that it definitely was your intent) .
CaliGuy Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Well.....that went remarkably well. Lots of laughing, giggling and acting kinda stupid like kids. Didn't mention anything negative at all. Left with a hug, a quick peck and I quickly drove away. I won't e-mail her for at least a week. Good. Make her WONDER what you are up to. No flowers, no chocolates, no nothing until you hear from her. And no gifts, really. If she isn't with you because of YOU, then you shouldn't try and buy her off with gifts.
Author Simon Leon Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Just an observation....there seems to be a few people from SD here on LS. Hey...at least its a beautiful evening tonight.
justaman99 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Just an observation....there seems to be a few people from SD here on LS. Hey...at least its a beautiful evening tonight. What is SD
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