americanrevgirl Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I have been divorced for a few years now. No kids. My one and only marriage was horrible. My ex was controlling, jealous bordering on a psychiatric illness, and in the end, abusive. It has taken me a long time to regain my balance after leaving him. (even that was a long, drawn out process--I had to make a run for it, and hide) A wonderful man that I used to date when I was in college has recently come back into my life. He lives in a neighboring state; we see each other on weekends & talk every day. I know where he will go with this relationship, because he has told me. (yes, serious...marriage) So far, I haven't seen any red flags with him. But I feel like my radar might not be working up to par. I do feel I am falling for him, but I am scared of any relationship, period, because of what I have been thru. Has anyone here been thru something similar? Do I need counseling or something to help me get over this fear? Is it normal?
gummybear Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I have been divorced for a few years now. No kids. My one and only marriage was horrible. My ex was controlling, jealous bordering on a psychiatric illness, and in the end, abusive. It has taken me a long time to regain my balance after leaving him. (even that was a long, drawn out process--I had to make a run for it, and hide) A wonderful man that I used to date when I was in college has recently come back into my life. He lives in a neighboring state; we see each other on weekends & talk every day. I know where he will go with this relationship, because he has told me. (yes, serious...marriage) So far, I haven't seen any red flags with him. But I feel like my radar might not be working up to par. I do feel I am falling for him, but I am scared of any relationship, period, because of what I have been thru. Has anyone here been thru something similar? Do I need counseling or something to help me get over this fear? Is it normal? I was in a relationship where I was so insecure and untrusting of him and of my own judgement (cuz I've been hurt in the past) that I totally sabotaged it...broke up with him a few times and lied to him and emotionally cheated. I honestly think had I gotten therapy at the time, things would have been different. He is a great guy, but my own inability to trust sabotaged it. I did get therapy afterward and I think it worked wonders. Ofcourse, it was too late for the relationship was ruined. But it will be better for my future relationships. That being said, yes I would suggest you get therapy so that you can make good judgements on your current relationship.
Krytie TV Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I would say that the fact that you're posting this and the tone in which you write suggests this person has an uphill struggle in his future. You really don't sound like you're ready to give yourself up to someone yet. Perhaps dating someone who sees marriage in your future is not the wisest choice at this time?
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