porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 You really are full of yourself aren't you. lol. That is just how it is to be a halfway decent looking woman.
Lizzie60 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I'm not talking about the creme of the crop rich/very handsome type. I'm talking about the average guy. Is it hard at all to get attention or pick up the average guy? Because as a guy, it seems like I have to do a **** load of work just to pick up very average women. Yes I can pick them up so I'm not bitching about not be able too, but at times it seems like I have to been in way too much work and all the women have to do is sit there and wait for men to come flocking to them (and I'm talking about normal/average women, not the hot ones). Me and my boys go out to the bars/clubs pretty much every weekend and you know what, I'm getting pretty sick of the amount of effort it takes just to get a few conversations going and even fewer phone numbers (and some nights we completely strike out). It just seems like the game is completely lopsided in effort. There should be no 'work' IMO.. for anyone.. men and women.. If it is too much work.. then we need to give up... I have never had any problem or never had to work to get anyone..
kizik Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 A woman is not the goddess to be sought or worshiped. She is merely a woman. She is no better than you or I. Society has fooled men into thinking otherwise. Thanks for this FNG, well-said. I think the longer a guy goes w/o getting laid, the more he puts the "pussy on a pedestal." And women begin to take the form of something inherently exotic, when in reality they are just other people. Men buy into the "myth of woman," something I wrote about for a paper last term in school.
Angel1111 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Thanks for this FNG, well-said. I think the longer a guy goes w/o getting laid, the more he puts the "pussy on a pedestal." And women begin to take the form of something inherently exotic, when in reality they are just other people. Men buy into the "myth of woman," something I wrote about for a paper last term in school. If you want to remain (or become) attractive to the opposite sex, it will serve you well to hold them in high esteem - that goes for men and women. But going to bars is not the best atmosphere for impressing most women. They are already in the mind set that you're looking for sex and nothing else, and they're usually there to dance, laugh and have fun in general - not to go home with a guy, or even meet one. I'm always conscious that it takes a lot for a man to walk up to a stranger and make conversation out of nowhere. But when I politely tell him 'no thanks' and he continues to push, that seriously pisses me off. I have never, ever gone to a bar and ended up going home with a guy. It never even occured to me to do that. Nor have I ever dated someone I met at a bar. But, personally, I can't stand those places so I'm probably not going to be objective in my answer. I just think that you're coming from a whole different perspective and don't have a clue as to what makes a woman tick. Seeing it as hard work is the first red flag. If the lack of sex is your motivation for walking up to non-hot women, they're going to see you coming from a mile away. You lose before you even begin. Change your attitude and you'll change your results.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 You really are full of yourself aren't you. I'm really not. I'm actually sweet and modest, for the most part. But this is a message board, where you can tell the uncensored truth. My sisters were always validated for being the pretty ones -- I was told I was the smart one. To most men, I'm sure I'm not the hottest chick in the room, and I know that. Even still, I have never had any problem getting guys. Even during the times I have been single by choice to devote more energy to my personal goals, I have had to hold interested men at bay. That's just the way it goes -- and I enjoy it!
CaliGuy Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 There should be no 'work' IMO.. for anyone.. men and women.. If it is too much work.. then we need to give up... I have never had any problem or never had to work to get anyone.. I agree. It shouldn't have to be work. If I am ever at a "meat market", I mind my own business. I don't hit on the women. I do occasionally like to sit back and watch the drama unfold. But I feel like if I work to get someone's attention, it's more work than it's worth. You either find some value in me, enough to talk to me, or you don't. I smile, socialize and have a good time, but trying to "score" is never the goal for me. It's just to have fun. If I meet someone, great. If not, no worries. My value isn't dependent on if I "hook up" with someone. It's completely dependent on how I feel about myself. No one else's opinion about you should determine your self-worth, ever.
Lookingforward Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 My guess is that you are sending some signals to these "average" women that they are NOT "hot" ones. For example, maybe you don't appear as animated to them or as "into" them as you would with a woman you found more attractive. Or maybe your eyes are following the figure of another women while you are pretending to pay attention to plain jane. NO woman wants to feel like they are "not hot", as you put it. All women want the same thing - to see a sparkle in their man's eyes that tells them they are the most beautiful woman in the room bar none. I think you hit the OPs "problem" right on the head there......... slight attitude adjustment and who knows.......
McLovely Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 I think you hit the OPs "problem" right on the head there......... slight attitude adjustment and who knows....... Thank you for having my back, lookingforward!
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