Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Oh wow CaliGuy's dating... Usually I see you hanging out in the breaking up forum and you always seem so bitter about people and their exes... but you got a date... woohoo way to go! I'm bit bitter, I am BETTER (not than others, just better than I was). I try to give people a dose of reality when it comes to breaking up and how pining over their ex's doesn't help them -- it kills their spirit. Plus, if an Ex sees you in despair after a breakup they don't feel sad for you, but pity. Remember that saying? "The best revenge is a life well lived?" It might also be translated: "Want to drive your ex up the wall? Show them you are happy WITHOUT them!" My point is I am happy, confident and content with who I am. The person who values me is going to be greatly rewarded
Author CaliGuy Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Hey man, I think you might have taken offense to what I wrote. Nothing I wrote was intentionally insulting or anything, so read it again with an open mind, not as if I was attacking you or ridiculing you. I didn't take offense at all! Sorry if I came off that way. What I ment by not telling her that you like her is different than not showing interest. Fabio did not come out and say I like you, lets date. No, he probably just smiled and brushed his hair back and said you give me number we go on date. Ok, maybe not just like that, but you get it. It did probably go something like that. That's what she said Man, you have to show interest. Basically, if you dont show immediate interest you get pushed into the friend zone, and once there you are stuck. The most you could hope for is casual sex with her. If you were lucky! It sucks getting befriended by the chick you want, so you gotta stay out of that area. Caliguy has never had a problem scoring, lol. Caliguy just isn't motivated by nor believes in meaningless sex. As a Christian, I shouldn't even be thinking about it, but I am human and have faults. In my younger days, I was a machine. Now that I have matured and am older I just don't think that way anymore. But if I wanted to "score", I could, no problem. I would just say, next time, casually put your hands on her somehow and progress from that. Nothing seems more awkward and uncomfortable to a girl who looks at a guy as a friend and only a friend and then to have them say hey I like you, dont you like me? It sucks, it even sucks for dudes when that happens... Actually what I said to her was "I know you think I am attractive..." and you know what, she said "I do..." So without putting your emotions out there, and without making it completely obvious, and without not making it obvious enough, you should put some moves on her. That does not mean jump right in for a kiss, but build up touching and intimate discussions. Talk sexy & fun with her... Dont ask things like whats the biggest dick you had, but whats the strangest place you did it in... Or something... You know what i mean? Hehe, no worries there. I am not like that at all and that's how things went last night. There's definitely some mutual attraction there, no doubt about it. What I was trying to get across with my points was that I refuse to show any desperation (because I am not) when it comes to women. If she sees someone else she likes better, I'm not going to bat an eye. I am the kind of guy the women often pass over for a jerk only to come back later, foot in mouth, wanting to give me a try. By then, it's far too late and I've moved on. That is why I place so much emphasis on women who see value in me. Because if they can't recognize it right away, they aren't worth my time. Cheers, mate!
Author CaliGuy Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 I'm NOT bitter, I am BETTER (not than others, just better than I was). I try to give people a dose of reality when it comes to breaking up and how pining over their ex's doesn't help them -- it kills their spirit. Plus, if an Ex sees you in despair after a breakup they don't feel sad for you, but pity. Remember that saying? "The best revenge is a life well lived?" It might also be translated: "Want to drive your ex up the wall? Show them you are happy WITHOUT them!" My point is I am happy, confident and content with who I am. The person who values me is going to be greatly rewarded Corrected my typo above.
daphne Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 That is why I place so much emphasis on women who see value in me. Because if they can't recognize it right away, they aren't worth my time. As you should. However, I think given that she didn't know you were interested, couldn't you give her a little bit of the benefit of the doubt since she's now trying to show you she is? She was right in the middle of getting attention from this guy when you surprised her. Attention may have been all she wanted, if she's smart. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. Also, if she wants to go to the party with you and not him, doesn't that speak volumes?
Krytie TV Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Man, a dollar for every time something like that had happened to me in my life. I agree with you how it totally changes the way you feel about someone when you see them "in action" with someone else. Well, my inclination would be to let her go. As you say, you gave her everything she needed to know about you being interested and she didn't act like she cared. In that case, pride would lead me away from her. Is that your plan?
johan Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Come on, man. First it's... I DID have some interest in her, but seeing her make googly-eyes at this guy while she was talking to me was a total turn off. Whether she likes me or not doesn’t matter anymore because I have this rule: "I don't see value in people who don't see value in me." Then it's... Guess who wants to go to the party WITH me today and NOT Fabio? Either it matters or it doesn't. The problem is that you hesitated. You made up some reasons why it was a bad idea for you to express your interest instead of going with your gut or whatever other organ you should be listening to. A tough guy would just put it out there. Sexual harassment is when you put it out there and keep putting it out there. Expressing interest isn't harassment, as long as you can remain professional in the face of rejection. Don't hesitate!
whichwayisup Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Guess who wants to go to the party WITH me today and NOT Fabio? That's cool. She probably figured out that "Fabio" was just a pretty face and once she got to talking to him, he wasn't interesting.
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I think it was Denver Guy. Denver Guy in SoCal, honing in on LSers' love interests. Will we never be rid of him?
JP77 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Guess who wants to go to the party WITH me today and NOT Fabio? Way to go, dude. I knew you could do it, with a little help from your friends you can achieve anything. Just don't marry her.
Author CaliGuy Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Way to go, dude. I knew you could do it, with a little help from your friends you can achieve anything. Just don't marry her. No worries there man. The more time I spend with her, the less and less interest I have. She's like a spoiled apple. Might look good on the outside, but what's inside ain't so hot. Why oh why do I end up with busted women? Is it too much to ask for a level-headed woman?
Author CaliGuy Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Denver Guy in SoCal, honing in on LSers' love interests. Will we never be rid of him? TBF, how's the new man doing? Glad to hear you're venturing out
Author CaliGuy Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Come on, man. First it's... Then it's... Either it matters or it doesn't. The problem is that you hesitated. You made up some reasons why it was a bad idea for you to express your interest instead of going with your gut or whatever other organ you should be listening to. A tough guy would just put it out there. Sexual harassment is when you put it out there and keep putting it out there. Expressing interest isn't harassment, as long as you can remain professional in the face of rejection. Don't hesitate! What I am trying to convey here is that if she had went out with me or not, I wasn't going to lose any sleep over it. I think it's just funny that she chose me over Fabio.
Trialbyfire Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 TBF, how's the new man doing? Glad to hear you're venturing out Hey Cali, he's doing fine. Thanks. I've been venturing out a bit, before him though. Good luck with your new girl. Glad to see she's more interested in you than a Fabio wannabe! Fabio...
daphne Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 who's denver guy? I feel like i missed an episode... And I didn't get the newsletter about tbf's new man. Do I need to spend more time in this place to find out these things?
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 who's denver guy? I feel like i missed an episode... And I didn't get the newsletter about tbf's new man. Do I need to spend more time in this place to find out these things? Honestly daphne, don't you read your memos?
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I didn't read the whole thread so maybe this was posted before..sorry if I'm repeating... but I think that even if you would have been faster and asked her out.. she probably would have been 'melting' all over Fabio.. this is probably the type of 'tart' that would do that.. (just a feeling ) I also advise you to go to the party and act as if it doesn't bother you one bit.. if you don't show up.. then she might deduct that you're hurt.. and that could be either an ego boost for her or a turn off. Just go and be nice to her.. flirt with other girls.. and have a good time..
Author CaliGuy Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 I didn't read the whole thread so maybe this was posted before..sorry if I'm repeating... but I think that even if you would have been faster and asked her out.. she probably would have been 'melting' all over Fabio.. this is probably the type of 'tart' that would do that.. (just a feeling ) I also advise you to go to the party and act as if it doesn't bother you one bit.. if you don't show up.. then she might deduct that you're hurt.. and that could be either an ego boost for her or a turn off. Just go and be nice to her.. flirt with other girls.. and have a good time.. There were no other girls there to flirt with (worthwhile that is). I wasn't exactly nice to her cause she was being a little bitchy so neither of us had a good time. I don't like bitchy women at all.
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