CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Ok there's this woman -- a contractor -- who is working on site at our facility. She's leaving soon and I was interested so I asked her to a vendor party last night. I've been playing it cool, too cool in fact. We were chatting, having a good time and then this guy walks in. Looks like freaking Fabio. I mean, even I can understand why the girls like him. So her and I are sitting there and mind you I haven't said a word about being interested in her and he glares over at her like 4 or 5 times. She's "star struck". She tells me "That guy stared at me like 4 different times…" Anyway we get to talking a little more and she goes up to get a drink. While she's standing at the bar, Fabio intercepts her and asks for her number and that he'd like to take her on a date. She gives him her number and says "Sure." What does stupid-arsed Caliguy do? She comes back over and says "Wow, that was cool. He came over to me and asked me for my number and for a date!" And I say "Well what did you say?" She replies "I gave him my number and said sure!" and I say "Ah ok. Well, I was going to ask you out but I guess I am too slow. I tend to take my time getting to know people and I figured I'd take my time with you as well." She says "I didn't even know you were interested in me. I figured you weren't since you didn't say anything. And normally I am not attracted to guys with long hair…" Anyway, I started to talking to friends, Fabio intercepts her again and they chat for a good 1/2 hour. By that time it was getting late so I said goodbye to friends and left. I didn't see her before I left so I assume she was still with him. We have to work together all day today, side by side. I DID have some interest in her, but seeing her make googly-eyes at this guy while she was talking to me was a total turn off. Whether she likes me or not doesn’t matter anymore because I have this rule: "I don't see value in people who don't see value in me." I guess it's my fault for taking things slow, but when I rush they fail. It appears if I take it slow it fails too. Haha. Anyway, just venting here. I'm going to play it cool today. We're supposed to go to the same party tonight (the one Fabio asked her out to) but I'm not going to go now. I would be uncomfortable.
jerbear Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I guess it's my fault for taking things slow, but when I rush they fail. It appears if I take it slow it fails too. Haha. Anyway, just venting here. I'm going to play it cool today. We're supposed to go to the same party tonight (the one Fabio asked her out to) but I'm not going to go now. I would be uncomfortable. I still say go to the party. If that experience does not kill you, it will make you stronger. Do at least go for the food! There is nothing wrong with slow and asking her to a vendor party. She now knows you HAD interests and now just let it be. The thing about contractors, they are not perms. It is when we are not true to ourselves that things fall apart.
Nevermind Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 And I say "Well what did you say?" She replies "I gave him my number and said sure!" and I say "Ah ok. Well, I was going to ask you out but I guess I am too slow. I tend to take my time getting to know people and I figured I'd take my time with you as well." She says "I didn't even know you were interested in me. I figured you weren't since you didn't say anything. And normally I am not attracted to guys with long hair…" Why didn't you ask her at that point?
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Why didn't you ask her at that point? I did tell her my interest, but I also told her that the interest had wained somewhat when I saw her making googly eyes at Fabio. I may go to the party tonight, still not sure.
Nevermind Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 She didn't know you were interested, plus she told you that she is not completely drawn to him (hair reference). I think she was giving you a hint to show interest.
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 She didn't know you were interested, plus she told you that she is not completely drawn to him (hair reference). I think she was giving you a hint to show interest. But she spent a long time chatting with him last night so.... the interest in him was much more than she alluded to. I left without saying goodbye, because when I was ready to go, she was chatting with him. If she had any real interest, she would have made a point to hang out with me. And I am not the type to chase or play games anymore. If she's interested, she really should have made an effort to chat with me more than she did. She might have left with that guy last night for all I know. LOL
Nevermind Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 So go to the party, if you think it could be fun. Don't depend on that flaky woman.
eric82 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 situations like this are opportunities to show how confident you are in yourself by making light of everything and not being shaken or intimidated by other guys moving in on her. when she said "that guy stared at me 4 different times," you should have looked her right in eye with a sly smile and responded, "oh don't mind fabio, he's my personal bodyguard. i pay him to protect me from girls like you."
v33 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 situations like this are opportunities to show how confident you are in yourself by making light of everything and not being shaken or intimidated by other guys moving in on her. when she said "that guy stared at me 4 different times," you should have looked her right in eye with a sly smile and responded, "oh don't mind fabio, he's my personal bodyguard. i pay him to protect me from girls like you." Brilliant!
Jilly Bean Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 And once Fabio turns out to a tool, she will wonder if you still want to grab a drink sometime. Expect it!
rproctor Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Hey man, this kind of thing will happen, a lot! It happens especially often if your gf is attractive... There are times when I just slip away to the bathroom for 2 minutes and come back and there are already guys hitten on my gf. Its kinda cool though cause sometimes they will buy her the drinks for me! haha. The best thing I could say mate, is keep her interested in you from the start. Keep her forcus on you, and keep the spotlight in your area. If you see her looking around or making eye contact with other guys, change your game and get her attention back. Listen, fabio or not, it doesnt matter. If the dude would have look half as good as you, he still could have gotten her #, a date, and her attention just the same. His looks did not do it for him, his confidence and approach did. I know how you feel though, that after she had displayed interest in the other guy you had 0% chance, which is why you then slipped in the "well I like you too, but now there is this other guy". Well let me tell you something, after you said that her attraction to you might have went from 25% to 0% because women do not like to hear things like that... Period. You feeling insecure about the other guy, and then not only displaying it but then discussing it with her was a big mistake. Also, man... Never strait up tell a chic you are interested in them, never say you like them, or tell them how you feel (in the case of first meeting someone, or first dating). Never let a woman know she has the upper hand, and that you are chasing her. It wont work, most of the time. Flirtatious, cocky, funny, and touchy is the way.
rproctor Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 situations like this are opportunities to show how confident you are in yourself by making light of everything and not being shaken or intimidated by other guys moving in on her. when she said "that guy stared at me 4 different times," you should have looked her right in eye with a sly smile and responded, "oh don't mind fabio, he's my personal bodyguard. i pay him to protect me from girls like you." Yea I totally agree with this.
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 And once Fabio turns out to a tool, she will wonder if you still want to grab a drink sometime. Expect it! I'm fully expecting it. And the comment above about Fabio protecting me from girls like her is funny, but I'm not that witty. HAHA. I did avoid bad mouthing him or saying or doing anything that would make me seem insecure. She's here this morning and I'm acting like nothing is different and neither is she. I'm not going to bat an eye. I will go to the party tonight, regardless. It's my friends party so I need to be there anyway. If she's there with Fabio I'm just going to mind my own business and not seek her out -- but I won't ignore her either. The way I see it, I'm not competiting. I don't need to compete with other guys. I know what my value is and the RIGHT woman will see that. I don't have to impress anyone
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Hey man, this kind of thing will happen, a lot! It happens especially often if your gf is attractive... There are times when I just slip away to the bathroom for 2 minutes and come back and there are already guys hitten on my gf. Its kinda cool though cause sometimes they will buy her the drinks for me! haha. She's not my girlfriend though and this wasn't a date. The best thing I could say mate, is keep her interested in you from the start. Keep her forcus on you, and keep the spotlight in your area. If you see her looking around or making eye contact with other guys, change your game and get her attention back. I did the opposite. When her attention focused on Fabio, I showed my confidence by letting her go do her thing and not chasing after her or interrupting them. Listen, fabio or not, it doesnt matter. If the dude would have look half as good as you, he still could have gotten her #, a date, and her attention just the same. His looks did not do it for him, his confidence and approach did. Yes, I agree with you on confidence. But also, and I am not gay in any way, the guy is extremely good looking. He's about 6'4", built like a rock, long hair -- I mean ALL the girls were oogling after this guy. I know how you feel though, that after she had displayed interest in the other guy you had 0% chance, which is why you then slipped in the "well I like you too, but now there is this other guy". Well let me tell you something, after you said that her attraction to you might have went from 25% to 0% because women do not like to hear things like that... Period. You feeling insecure about the other guy, and then not only displaying it but then discussing it with her was a big mistake. I said that I was "interested" in her, I never said attracted, but I see what you mean. She also admitted she was attracted to me, so I guess that evens things out. She also said "I don't normally like guys with long hair" and the only thing I can point out about "Fabio" is he looks and acts like a player. Also, man... Never strait up tell a chic you are interested in them, never say you like them, or tell them how you feel (in the case of first meeting someone, or first dating). Never let a woman know she has the upper hand, and that you are chasing her. It wont work, most of the time. Flirtatious, cocky, funny, and touchy is the way. Sounds a lot like David DeAngelo, lol. But part of the reason she didn't put any moves on me is she thought I was NOT interested in her. That is why she told me she took Fabio's number. At before that, I had never stated any interest in her. So what you are saying here is don't say your interested. What she told me is "You never told me you were interested." How the FRICK can I win at this game when the rules contradict what the woman is saying? *confused*
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Yea I totally agree with this. I was not shaken the least bit And yes, I think Fabio will turn out to be a tool because he was making the rounds from girl to girl. But she'll have to find that out on her own. As I said before, if people don't see value in me then I place no value on them as far as a relationship might go.
AriaIncognito Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Even if she goes with Fabio, she'll more than likely get tired of all the women looking at her man. Personally, I dont see the attraction to fabio. Give me an intellectual/geeky type any day over that lol. I dont want to date someone who has longer/better hair than me! lol
eric82 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 So what you are saying here is don't say your interested. What she told me is "You never told me you were interested." How the FRICK can I win at this game when the rules contradict what the woman is saying? *confused* what she meant by "you never told me you were interested" is the way you talked with her never told her you were interested in more than a friendship. throughout all that chatting, did you flirt with her?
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 what she meant by "you never told me you were interested" is the way you talked with her never told her you were interested in more than a friendship. throughout all that chatting, did you flirt with her? I tried to flirt at work a little but I have to be careful. You don't want to end up being accused of sexual harrassment. Regardless, she knows there is some general interest but if she's going to pursue Fabio, I am not going to waste my time or energy on her at all. Not worth it to me.
eric82 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 walk over to them at the party and hand him a "i can't believe it's not butter" magazine ad. when he looks at you perplexed, take out a sharpie and ask for his autograph. might as well get some entertainment out of this, i mean ****.
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 walk over to them at the party and hand him a "i can't believe it's not butter" magazine ad. when he looks at you perplexed, take out a sharpie and ask for his autograph. might as well get some entertainment out of this, i mean ****. Honestly I am having the last laugh. I left the party at 8:30 because I knew I had to get up early to go work out. So she tells me today "Hey where did you go last night? I was looking for you for about an hour…" and I was like "Oh, I left at 8:30 so I get up early to work out." She's like "Why didn't you say goodbye?" and I was like "I didn't want to interrupt you and Fabio's conversation." She's like, well did you say goodbye to everyone else?" and I was like "Yep." And she's like "Well you could have come and said goodbye to me" and I said "True, but you guys looked busy and I didn't want to interrupt." She actually seemed hurt that I didn't say goodbye to her. Doesn't sound like she's going out with him tonight but we'll be at the same party.
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 He's manned up after his pride was almost mocked by a sexy hunk of munk known as Fabio. Good on you, American dude, do the popcorn trick.
Author CaliGuy Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 He's manned up after his pride was almost mocked by a sexy hunk of munk known as Fabio. Good on you, American dude, do the popcorn trick. Guess who wants to go to the party WITH me today and NOT Fabio?
ate_the_paint Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 walk over to them at the party and hand him a "i can't believe it's not butter" magazine ad. when he looks at you perplexed, take out a sharpie and ask for his autograph. might as well get some entertainment out of this, i mean ****. LMAO! Oh, that's good!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Guess who wants to go to the party WITH me today and NOT Fabio? Oh wow CaliGuy's dating... Usually I see you hanging out in the breaking up forum and you always seem so bitter about people and their exes... but you got a date... woohoo way to go!
rproctor Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Hey man, I think you might have taken offense to what I wrote. Nothing I wrote was intentionally insulting or anything, so read it again with an open mind, not as if I was attacking you or ridiculing you. What I ment by not telling her that you like her is different than not showing interest. Fabio did not come out and say I like you, lets date. No, he probably just smiled and brushed his hair back and said you give me number we go on date. Ok, maybe not just like that, but you get it. Man, you have to show interest. Basically, if you dont show immediate interest you get pushed into the friend zone, and once there you are stuck. The most you could hope for is casual sex with her. If you were lucky! It sucks getting befriended by the chick you want, so you gotta stay out of that area. I would just say, next time, casually put your hands on her somehow and progress from that. Nothing seems more awkward and uncomfortable to a girl who looks at a guy as a friend and only a friend and then to have them say hey I like you, dont you like me? It sucks, it even sucks for dudes when that happens... So without putting your emotions out there, and without making it completely obvious, and without not making it obvious enough, you should put some moves on her. That does not mean jump right in for a kiss, but build up touching and intimate discussions. Talk sexy & fun with her... Dont ask things like whats the biggest dick you had, but whats the strangest place you did it in... Or something... You know what i mean?
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