Corinne Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I feel so much better than I did before NC thinking up reasons to text him or see him I am slowly breaking free of the Love I have for him, I will be glad when that turns into something that doesn't hurt. I am enjoying the freedom to be ME! and I actually Love having the whole bed to myself Mostly I Love being in charge of all my time, my own destiny and being free of the negativity he saw in everything I am really HAPPY! (except my heart hurts but that is getting less and less often and is replaced with more and more HAPPY!) I'm still having conflict with myself mostly because I keep getting calls from people he owes money too and I have heard he is back to his old habit of gambling fruit machines, he did it in my local club where people are bound to tell me and it makes me wonder if he did that on purpose, I don't think he is that smart and I basically feel sorry for him, I hope he learns to grow and take responsibility for his life, I saw him on Monday as I drove past and felt no urge to stop or contact him but it did unsettle me for a time. I cried the first time in a week yesterday when I heard about the gambling, it just made me feel like the last 7 years was a waste of my life because he is exactly the same struggling person he was then only he's not living with his Mum now. I guess bottom line is I feel sorry for him
iwish Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Congrats on the 8 days!! I'm on my 5th, and i've managed two weeks before!! Keep up the good work and i hope the hurt goes completely for you, sooner rather than later
Peter_pan Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 stay strong. its the early days that hurt the most. im on 2 months (shouldn't have broken it early may) since i got no reply anyway you can call it four months). it will get more manageable
iwish Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 stay strong. its the early days that hurt the most. im on 2 months (shouldn't have broken it early may) since i got no reply anyway you can call it four months). it will get more manageable 2 months!! That's great. I want to reach that day and be healed!!
roghornio Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Great work! Try not to count though... its when you cant rememebr the last contact it all starts fading away.
Peter_pan Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 good point try not to count. once months have passed believe me, time flies....
ioncebelieved Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Congrats on 8, I am day number 9 today. Gambling on fruit machines???? Are you talking about slot machines that have fruit symbols inside them? Otherwise if not explain those machines to me like I am two years old....
iwish Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Congrats on 8, I am day number 9 today. Gambling on fruit machines???? Are you talking about slot machines that have fruit symbols inside them? Otherwise if not explain those machines to me like I am two years old.... Fruit machines and slot machines are one and the same.. Congrats on the 9 days by the way, keep it up! Lets both of us stick to it this time and heal! It's the only way forward.
kizik Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Soon enough you will stop counting days, and once you do, it will be an epiphany of notable proportions: "I don't care about this person enough to count the days it's been since I last talked to him. He doesn't deserve that kind of space in my head."
Author Corinne Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Thankyou lovely people For some reason I am being tested to the limit This is so weird, I have been helping my brother fix his pc and he took me down the local working mens club for a pint to thank me..... My ex husband was in there... it felt so weird but I stayed for one, my brother took care of me and ex finished his pint and left, he looked so sad in his eyes. I did pass the time of day with him but felt very awkward. I only had one then went outside and cried a bit I was really shaking when I was in there, that was the most uncomfortable bit, why do our bodies react like that? I must confess all the anti him stuff is just a defence, I still Love him and can see his soul, he just looked so sad but he knows he has to follow his own path, as I have mine. Dammit!!!
foolednm Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Thankyou lovely people For some reason I am being tested to the limit This is so weird, I have been helping my brother fix his pc and he took me down the local working mens club for a pint to thank me..... My ex husband was in there... it felt so weird but I stayed for one, my brother took care of me and ex finished his pint and left, he looked so sad in his eyes. I did pass the time of day with him but felt very awkward. I only had one then went outside and cried a bit I was really shaking when I was in there, that was the most uncomfortable bit, why do our bodies react like that? I must confess all the anti him stuff is just a defence, I still Love him and can see his soul, he just looked so sad but he knows he has to follow his own path, as I have mine. Dammit!!! Today makes 4 week since no contact. I have seen her here in the building at work but we have not had any kind of communication since 4 weeks ago today. That's when she told me she was "happy, very, very happy" with the new guy she's screwing. I hate her so much but I still love her and want her back. I saw her yesterday at the local cafe, she looked great, wonderful smile, beautiful face, but I just looked at her and then walked away. I do want her back, but I don't want her back after she's been with someone else. That just ruins my image of her.
Author Corinne Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Poor you fooled I am lucky there was no one else involved but then again maybe its easier to move on knowing there is no way back? I am an idiot and text him today as its 7 years since we met I just said '7 years ago today! Time flies, remember the good times' he replied back with a I am an idiot, if he didn't know why should I remind him? now I am in tears again and feeling so sad, but I did after I saw him yesterday, It doesn't help that he works just down my road and drinks in my local Oh what to do!! Back to day one I guess
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