Author Alpha Female Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 As for yours, hmmmm...I don't know what to say.....what would have been a better date for you? Oh, and to answer your question, a great first date is meeting for a drink only. Then if there is chemistry, we can continue on and go somewhere for dinner. This one screwed up in doing dinner at 6PM. I think he wanted to save some cash and go during happy hour/early bird special pricing. ha ha. One of the best first dates I ever had started with a drink at one bar, then off to dinner, and then we went to play video games and shoot pool. It was all unplanned after the drinks, and we just went with it. It was a wonderful evening! But, this guy was 37 and knew how to plan a date.
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Because I am a grown-up 42-year old woman who does not go out on 6PM, 1-hour dates. That's why. How does a quick drink date differ? A happy hour drink date? Is that not to your liking either? I just don't know how this guy could ever have read your mind to know exactly what to do to please you. He suggested you meet for dinner at 6, right? If you didn't like that, why didn't you suggest your ideal date of drinks instead? Why place blame here? I don't think this guy did anything "wrong." It just wasn't a good fit.
bones1 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Am I the only one who finds this completely and utterly ridiculous? I believe the OP is the one with some major issues. She has been obsessing for 8 pages about how boring he was, dull, broken, inexperienced, poor conversationalist, and she wanted to extend the date longer! Well guess what. HE DIDN'T. He then went home and blocked you on his computer! HELLO??? What more do you need to see that he was not interested? Obviously if a man meets a stranger and he is not interested he will not want to hang out with her all night. Its simple. What is the game? What is there to figure out? What am I missing? It happens on millions of blind dates everyday. One person might not be as interested as the other. Are you that insecure with yourself that you cannot face that? Not everyone you go out with will be interested in you. If they are not interested in you, then be the "Alpha female" that you are, and take it like a man. The way you put this guy down for not liking you really shows how insecure you are.
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Bones, you were a little harsh there...but oh so very right in substance.
bones1 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Oh, and to answer your question, a great first date is meeting for a drink only. Then if there is chemistry, we can continue on and go somewhere for dinner. This one screwed up in doing dinner at 6PM. I think he wanted to save some cash and go during happy hour/early bird special pricing. ha ha. One of the best first dates I ever had started with a drink at one bar, then off to dinner, and then we went to play video games and shoot pool. It was all unplanned after the drinks, and we just went with it. It was a wonderful evening! But, this guy was 37 and knew how to plan a date. LOL.. So this great date in the past was "Unplanned", but since the guy was 37, he really knew how to plan a date! This current guy cut a date short with you. It is IMPOSSIBLE that he simply wasn't interested? It MUST be because he is not mentally capable of making a plan? (Even if unplanned dates are great and no plan is even needed) And since he wasn't interested, you feel the need to call him immature, inexperienced, broken, boring, dull, a tyke, horror show, insecure, dramatic, cheap, out of his league, pitiful, weak, screwed up by his religion, strange, clueless, slow, no sense of humor, and childish! Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night..If the above were your true thoughts, why did you ask him to hang out longer? It seems a strong Alpha Female would be relieved that the date ended after 1 hour. Unless you are really desperate and want to be with someone you think so lowly of.
Author Alpha Female Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Star Gazer - yes, I firmly concur. We were not a good fit from the get-go. I got carried away with the pics of his hotness, but that's where the interest stopped. He didn't even turn me on in person. Still was exceptionally attractive, but no chemistry. Regardless, I just got this email from him: Dear Alpha: I am sure you don't want to hear from me again after how I behaved the other night. I don't know what to say, except that I am sorry. I know I gave you the wrong (bad) impression of me. I feel like I did everything wrong and totally blew it with you. Starting with my bonehead comment last week about the viper and then what I said to you after our date. I guess I was confused about what you would want and expect from me, and even though I said the age difference didn't matter and pursued you, I still felt really overwhelmed. Alpha you were so much sexier and prettier in person, I became a teenager around you and was a ass. I already knew you were smart and intense from our talks. I just didn't expect the whole package. I have never met a woman quite like you. When I asked you to come see your pool, I really meant just to see your pool and spend more time together. I honestly didn't have the intention of having sex with you. Though I know that's the impression I gave. When you asked me to go shopping after dinner and I said no, it was because I thought you were making a sarcastic joke about buying me something and again about my crack about the viper from the other nite. I didn't realize you were sincere about hanging out. I think part of me wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could because I felt like everything that was coming out of my mouth was the wrong thing. That wasn't you're doing Alpha. The fact that you stayed patient and kind made me even more unsettled in a lot of way. I know you probably didn't want to hear from me again, but I wanted to let you know I am sorry for being a jerk. I blamed you for me screwing up, and I wanted to come clean. I hope you find a guy who is worthy, Alpha. You really deserve a great guy. Sorry it wasn't me.
bones1 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 LOL Ok, look. If you went through all the time to compose that email just to show us on Loveshack that you are right, we will all lay off.. OK? You win. He doesn't use your name, he calls you Alpha. LOL
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Alpha.. I was right again... I knew it.. (my post no 77)... they always reach out again... If I were you, I would give it one more try.. just to see how he will 'act' the second time.. give him one more chance.. I think he realized how 'goofy' he was the first time... maybe it was just him being awkward in front of such a great woman... he's probably not used to that...
Author Alpha Female Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Alpha.. I was right again... I knew it.. (my post no 77)... they always reach out again... If I were you, I would give it one more try.. just to see how he will 'act' the second time.. give him one more chance.. I think he realized how 'goofy' he was the first time... maybe it was just him being awkward in front of such a great woman... he's probably not used to that... Ha ha! Yes, you were right. I kind of suspected the email would come when he started showing up online again. Though I agree with you that he might be worth a second shot, I'm just not really feeling it. I am so turned off by what happened after the date, and afterwards online when we chatted that night, I'm not sure I'm really up for the work. Maybe if things had flowed a lot easier, I would have been left with more of a desire. Then again, maybe in two days I'll change my mind again. ha ha! Do you get the overwhelmed and intimidated thing a lot, too? This guy said this to me the other night when we were talking about our views of relationships and people who cheat and I told him my views. Even that made him say he was intimidated!
Jilly Bean Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Dayum, Alpha! Just like Lizzie, I KNEW he would contact you. I so know how these little boys act. Im sure it feels somewhat validating for him to confirm what you knew, but I still think you should blow him off. lol. UNLESS, you want to deal with the drama and the work. And girl, he sounds like a BOAT LOAD of maintenance. Go find another honey!
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Sometimes but not with most... my MM is very comfortable in his own skin, very smart, very outgoing.. very sexy (used to be a football player).. well built... I have to say that I've been pretty 'lucky' so far.. (but then again, if I think about it very seriously.. I think I would come up with a few 'horror' stories.. but I've seen soooo much... that I can't remember them all... sometimes I see or read something that will make me think of one of them.. I have 'calmed' down quite a bit.. I used to be on a sexual rampage about 6 yrs ago.. and I was meeting like crazy.. I don't have the time or the energy to do that anymore..
bones1 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 It all makes perfect sense now. Man meets woman on blind date and finds her to be the perfect package, in ALL ways. Such luck! Man decides to end date early, even when his dream woman is asking him to hang out longer! Man then goes home and blocks her im's and emails! Alpha, this is getting good. Can you write another imaginary email that addresses why he blocked your im's and emails? Don't be afraid to talk yourself up either. I love it. He just wanted to finally "come clean" lololol
Author Alpha Female Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Sometimes but not with most... my MM is very comfortable in his own skin, very smart, very outgoing.. very sexy (used to be a football player).. well built... I have to say that I've been pretty 'lucky' so far.. (but then again, if I think about it very seriously.. I think I would come up with a few 'horror' stories.. but I've seen soooo much... that I can't remember them all... sometimes I see or read something that will make me think of one of them.. I have 'calmed' down quite a bit.. I used to be on a sexual rampage about 6 yrs ago.. and I was meeting like crazy.. I don't have the time or the energy to do that anymore.. I also generally date guys that are very confident and together. That makes a big difference. If a guy is insecure at 40, won't change a thing on the dynamic. This one threw me as I figured since he pursued me so hard online, that that confidence would translate to in-person chemistry. It didn't. I hear you on the rampage! ha ha. Luckily I have settled down from that. To a degree.
Author Alpha Female Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Dayum, Alpha! Just like Lizzie, I KNEW he would contact you. I so know how these little boys act. Im sure it feels somewhat validating for him to confirm what you knew, but I still think you should blow him off. lol. UNLESS, you want to deal with the drama and the work. And girl, he sounds like a BOAT LOAD of maintenance. Go find another honey! ha ha. I have to agree. I just have to keep reminding myself of when he dumped all his Mormon background issues and misery on me and then added that he was broken inside. Drama for sure!
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 ha ha. I have to agree. I just have to keep reminding myself of when he dumped all his Mormon background issues and misery on me and then added that he was broken inside. Drama for sure! Ahhh come on AF... be a little more compassionate... You can 'fix' him a little bit.. maybe it's not that broken inside..
LoveDeluxe78 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 ha ha. I have to agree. I just have to keep reminding myself of when he dumped all his Mormon background issues and misery on me and then added that he was broken inside. Drama for sure! Not in the mood for a pet project? lol Could be fun.... He could return the favor in the bedroom. I guess in the end, my question is, what do you want from him? If it's a relationship, might be a lot of work since he seems to have some heavy duty issues from what you are saying. If it's sex, give it a go IF there is chemistry and it seems like you mentioned it did not translate to offline, and you also got that email which gave you closure, so in the end, it seems like you don't really want to continue anything with this guy so...it's all good....
Author Alpha Female Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Ahhh come on AF... be a little more compassionate... You can 'fix' him a little bit.. maybe it's not that broken inside.. ha ha Lizzie! Perhaps if I had more of an investment in him before it got so complicated yea, I might have been inclined. Don't you think the broken comment is really telling though?
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 May I give you another 'feeling' I have from this guy... I bet anything he's rotten in bed.. Try him and let us know ... mouaahhahhahahaha
LoveDeluxe78 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 May I give you another 'feeling' I have from this guy... I bet anything he's rotten in bed.. Try him and let us know ... mouaahhahhahahaha Lizzie, what "feeling" do you get about my 20 year old, no phone call returning date?
Author Alpha Female Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Not in the mood for a pet project? lol Could be fun.... He could return the favor in the bedroom. I guess in the end, my question is, what do you want from him? If it's a relationship, might be a lot of work since he seems to have some heavy duty issues from what you are saying. If it's sex, give it a go IF there is chemistry and it seems like you mentioned it did not translate to offline, and you also got that email which gave you closure, so in the end, it seems like you don't really want to continue anything with this guy so...it's all good.... ha ha - I am sure he would! Though after meeting him, I don't have a great feeling for any bedroom skill set. I am seeking a relationship, not casual sex anyway. Perhaps if things went better on the date the chemistry would have been there, but since it was all so mucky, I feel like it's best to just write him a nice note back and wish him well.
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 ha ha Lizzie! Perhaps if I had more of an investment in him before it got so complicated yea, I might have been inclined. Don't you think the broken comment is really telling though? Not really.. maybe he was playing the 'martyr' card.. it works with a lot of women... maybe he needs a little nurturing... We all know that most women like the challenge to change a man (unconsciously)... and that once he's changed.. she's tired of him..
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Lizzie, what "feeling" do you get about my 20 year old, no phone call returning date? Just a feeling from her posts.. so far I'm pretty good..
Author Alpha Female Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 May I give you another 'feeling' I have from this guy... I bet anything he's rotten in bed.. Try him and let us know ... mouaahhahhahahaha I so agree with you on this! I just wrote that back to Deluxe in a posting. Yes, he's gorgeous and with an incredible body, but just no game and no real sex appeal. Who knows. Maybe some boring night I'll ask him if he wants to come over and see my pool. ha ha!
Lizzie60 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Oups.. I read about 'her' guy... I'll have to read your posts.. I don't know your story..
LoveDeluxe78 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Oups.. I read about 'her' guy... I'll have to read your posts.. I don't know your story.. Date With The Younger Guy Version 2.0 lol Details are there and wanted your perspective....
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