impaky Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 My boyfriend and I have been [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]together[/FONT][/COLOR] for 9 years, we have a daughter and another baby on the way. I am seven months [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]pregnant[/FONT][/COLOR] so sexually speaking we were not having sex because we both felt weird about the baby. A few weeks back I found an AIM message to his cousin telling him about a woman he was suppose to meet but she [COLOR=red][FONT=serif]wussed[/FONT][/COLOR] out. I confronted him about it and his [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]response[/FONT][/COLOR] was so non-[COLOR=red][FONT=serif]challant[/FONT][/COLOR] and calm that I [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]believed[/FONT][/COLOR] him (he said it was a joke) at first I didn't of course but as we talked I decided not to make a big deal of it specially since it is amazing how stupid some guys can be at times. I had a funny feeling the entire time so I installed a [COLOR=red][FONT=serif]keylogger[/FONT][/COLOR] on his computer, I was hoping to find harmless porn and nothing more, I was wrong... I found him posting online and seeking women to have sex with. He didn't actually get a chance to do so and we talked [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]about[/FONT][/COLOR] it and decided that there where [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]obviously[/FONT][/COLOR] some problems in our relationship we needed to address. I became more sexually open with him, letting him know everything I was in the mood (which is quiet often), I was more affectionate, loving, encouraging, and made sure to tell him how attracted I am to him. Everything was going great where out of the blue comes this girl to send him an email asking him to have casual sex, she is a local here in the area so I was devastated when I read his [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]response[/FONT][/COLOR] "wow, yes we can do whatever it takes, as long as we are discrete about it because I have a hard time getting away lately, I love my wife and don't want to hurt her but I need some release" I was devastated, here I am putting myself out to him giving him as much head and sex as he wants (and I'm not bad but I have to admit the [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]pregnancy[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]doesnt[/FONT][/COLOR] help with the [COLOR=red][FONT=serif]freakiness[/FONT][/COLOR] factor which is what we both used to enjoy so much). He now tells me that he wants someone to just f&ck and that it is nothing wrong with me but he just wants sex with a stranger, no strings attached, no [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]drama[/FONT][/COLOR], I keep telling him there is no way i could ever accept that it is not me, I'm the type of woman who is 100% devoted to her spouse and wants the same, I am open and listen good, I am usually willing to try just about everything [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]intimately[/FONT][/COLOR] as long as it does not involve other people. I am at a point of no return I have lost all self respect for him and I don't fell like I love him anymore the way I used to, [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]honestly[/FONT][/COLOR] I am more [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]afraid[/FONT][/COLOR] of being alone and my children growing up fatherless. I feel that he put so much [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]pressure[/FONT][/COLOR] on me to let him have an affair that he will do it eventually even though he says he will try not to. Now he [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]said[/FONT][/COLOR] he wants to work out and get in shape, it makes me wonder why and I'm scared but I don't know what to do. I do not believe in dating once you have had kids, if we split up I will be alone until my children have grown up and more than likely I will end up alone for the rest of my life but I don't want my children exposed to any type of danger, so if I'm not with their dad I don't think I'll ever look for someone else as much as I would want to be loved. I'm scared and confused and wished I knew what to do. He [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]said[/FONT][/COLOR] he wants to work things out but it is still something he needs and he is unhappy but does not want to put his selfish needs ahead of my [COLOR=green][FONT=serif]happiness[/FONT][/COLOR].
Sum1'sGot2RepThe530 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 You wanna edit your post so we can make sense of it? Thanks.
Sum1'sGot2RepThe530 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Well I can kind of make sense of your post, and I say you should split. Don't be so hard on yourself though about the no dating with kids issue. If that's your belief, fine, but you don't deserve to be alone so I think you should reconsider that down the line. Good luck.
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