Crestfallen_KH Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I've gone on a couple of dates in the last two months with guys who were really eager right off the bat (e.g., instant response to e-mails, wanting to meet "that night" - which I never do, offering to do favors or buying gifts even though we've never met, etc.). Since the last couple of dates didn't go so well, I'm starting to think that, if a guy is too eager, that should be a red flag. I've found that "too eager" guys are either hoping for a) sex, b) an instant relationship. Also, I think guys who are so eager to meet you are a little more...desperate. I don't know, I start thinking "Wow, if you are so eager to meet me, am I just the sucker girl who responded out of the 99 that ignored you"? Am I being too harsh? I ask because I have a date with another eager beaver tomorrow night and I'm wondering if I should go, or give him the benefit of the doubt.
forrest Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I dont know. What do u have to lose? Worst case scenario (in most cases) you get a free dinner out of it and maybe a few hours wasted. Otherwise, perhaps you find the right person.
Krytie TV Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 The contradiction to the "don't play games" mantra that women preach. You're really going to have to find other things to base a guy's worth on because there are so many mixed messages about what people want from a prospective partner that it's really just a crapshoot at this point. Show interest, dont show interest, be genuine, be aloof, you name it. Maybe this particular aspect you're focusing on is really just not a good indicator of a guy's worth?
johan Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Chances are the reason a guy went online in the first place is because it's been a while since he had any luck in real life. And so he's going to be eager all right. Either to get you naked or to get you to be his girlfriend. Neither is good, because both indicate he's not evaluating you fairly. So the majority of those cases are going to end in disappointment, regardless of whether you give the guys a chance. By the way, I need a girlfriend, so when should I pick you up in my magic van?
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Crestfallen, when a guy pulls the full-court press right out the gate, you can bet he's firing duds!
JP77 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Crestfallen, when a guy pulls the full-court press right out the gate, you can bet he's firing duds! Interesting, how do you know these men are impotent.
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Interesting, how do you know these men are impotent. Emotional duds...
gummybear Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 The few times I was willing to meet someone so quickly was only because I needed a quick fix cuz I was feeling extremely desperate or lonely and I knew in my mind that I'm not meeting them with expectations of anything long term. After that phase goes away, I can honestly only meet someone AFTER I've established some sort of connection online. And yes it takes alot of time and patience. I can go weeks and weeks without even really talking to anyone online. BUT once I do find someone I'm interested to talk to and finally meet, I'm pretty excited about it. And the last 2 times I met someone online, I find out after meeting them that they were the same way....they had also gone weeks without really meeting anyone until they found me...and we'd date each other only and they both became my bfs. I had my date tonight and found out I was the first girl he met from the site (he's been on the site for 2 months). He's also the first I met from the site. So to answer your question, yes I think it is better to see first if someone is worth meeting up with before meeting up with them.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 The few times I was willing to meet someone so quickly was only because I needed a quick fix cuz I was feeling extremely desperate or lonely and I knew in my mind that I'm not meeting them with expectations of anything long term. After that phase goes away, I can honestly only meet someone AFTER I've established some sort of connection online. And yes it takes alot of time and patience. I can go weeks and weeks without even really talking to anyone online. BUT once I do find someone I'm interested to talk to and finally meet, I'm pretty excited about it. And the last 2 times I met someone online, I find out after meeting them that they were the same way....they had also gone weeks without really meeting anyone until they found me...and we'd date each other only and they both became my bfs. I had my date tonight and found out I was the first girl he met from the site (he's been on the site for 2 months). He's also the first I met from the site. So to answer your question, yes I think it is better to see first if someone is worth meeting up with before meeting up with them. I agree. I kept getting asked out online ( and myspace of all places) even though I have not made any mention of wanting to meet up with anyone. I usually just ignore their messages. The only way you can tell if a guy is genuine is how much time he's willing to put into writing the emails. The ones that ask to set up the date and pick you up right off the bat means that they're expecting sex. But guys who are willing to get to know about you and your hobbies shows that they're at least interested to know you as a person rather than expect a one night stand.
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