NYY5 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 forgive me if this topic has been covered already, but i just want to get the opinion of as many people as i can. say you're friends with a girl, you have a really unique sort of connection with each other, and even though you're both just friends at the initial meeting, you both can see that the natural progression of your "friendship" would lead to something more, like a romantic relationship. so then you both knew it was inevitable, and you end up together, but things just end up not working out for whatever reason. say she was the one to end it, and you still want to be with her romantically, but she doesn't want that. she offers you her friendship, but says she understands if you couldn't do that. do you think that it's the right thing to do, or the healthy thing to do, to tell her no, let's not be friends? because i still want to be with you, i still have romantic feelings for you and i still love you in that sort of way, so to hang around each other as just friends...i don't see it as being the best thing to do. what do you think? i mean, you don't want to lose her totally from your life, but there might not be any other option. it's a difficult position to be in.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 While I agree (for the most part) with the sales pitch above, if she isn't feeling it, she's not going to feel it. I'm the girl you're talking about and I am the one who instituted "the break" with my last boyfriend in an attempt to see if we can reconvene as friends. We didn't work - for a variety of reasons. And doing the above wouldn't matter to me. I just didn't feel as strongly as he did for me, and to continue on in a relationship with someone who wants more than you're willing to give is draining and painful for both parties. Definitely give her time. Just be apart for a few weeks. And be honest with your feelings. If, after 6 weeks, you can't imagine hearing her tell you about her hot new boyfriend, then extend the time period. Do what's best for YOU. That's what she would want too (if she is a genuine friend). It may turn out that you can never be friends...that happens - a lot. But don't ever, ever pretend you're ok with being "just friends" if you aren't. It harms you and will tick her off.
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