skswzdm Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Input please!!! What if you almost lived with your SO and they preferred that you stayed at their place all the time. What if your SO left their diaries out in the open on a bookshelf next to the regular stuff they've read an other stuff like dictionaries, etc. Sometimes they are left out opened up, etc. Knocked them off the shelf, they are stacked precariously sideways on top of other books, read just enough to figure out what they are and saw dates, names, and sexual content with previous lovers. She tells me I'm the love of her life, why does she need this stuff. God knows what she's written about me! I'm ok with "the past is the past", but this is a tough one. Leaving them out smacks of subconsciously wanting them to be discovered, no? Is this a little wierd, maybe creuel on some level??? INPUT???
Walk Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I can't speak for your gf, but when I first started dating my H we both had journals of past times in our lives. I stayed at his place quite often and would leave my journals there on occasion. Not only would I occasionally leave my journals where they would have been staring him in the face and taunting him to read them, but he also seemed to place his in very open, accesible areas. The only reason I left mine out was because I trusted that he wouldn't read through them without asking first. He respected my privacy and that really meant a great deal to me. I also would have shared parts of them with him if he had asked. It wasn't something I was scared of him reading, only that I asked he respect my boundaries enough not to jump into my private thoughts without asking me first. That would have also allowed me to buffer some of the harsher journal entries, rather then have him unknowingly stumble into a portion that if taken out of context could have caused a great deal of confusion and pain. I'd suggest you tell your gf that if she doesn't move her journals to an out of sight area that one day you might not have the will power to stop yourself from leafing through them. Or ask her if she'd like to share portions of her journal with you that might help you to better know her as a person. There's a lot of stuff about people's past lives that future partners really never want to know in great detail. But at the same time, its the past that made our partners who they are today. The best advice I can give you on the subject is to embrace the person she was and realize that it took all those things happening to her in the order they did for you two to meet and fall in love.
Author skswzdm Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 I used to journal as well. I stopped because I had an ex find a box of stuff, she never saw the journals, and I could tell it was a point of issue with her. I tossed them, they did me no service. I remember the past just fine, and I knew that someday someone would be hurt by them. I would'nt get mad if someone found mine, and read them without my consent. It wouldn't bother me. I just wouldn't want someone to hurt because of them. I don't believe that she would be happy or secure in the knowledge that I had fairly detailed written record right there on the shelf about my sexual encounters with former partners, I saw that they go back to like the early 90's, she's 48. I didn't write much about sex anyway. Just too tacky, and I don't want anyone to read that stuff and be hurt, and if it's sitting there, it will be found, you know! I'm interested in what people have read over the years and they're right there on the shelf by the books! She said once that she ended a relationship because he kept reading them. Why would you leave them out in plain sight. I am strong, but she brags about her past sometimes and I am an intelligent inquisitive person. Bomb waiting to go off!
Order & Chaos Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I have been writing since I was 10 up till the last few years. I did leave my journals out on a bookcase but guess knew he would never read them. Now that I am dealing with a separation, I started rereading them to try and figure out my patterns as well as get a better understanding of my relationship with my husband. Some of the stuff is just comedic fodder but some of it is showing patterns that have been repeating for years that I hadn't been aware of. I am planning on starting another journal to start figuring out what is going on with me and my life. Writing has always been cathartic for me.
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