northstar1 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Why does today seem so damn hard? What is special about today? I had a good day yesterday - had finally gotten to a point where I was ready to accept that things were finally done and life was going on and we'd end up perfect strangers again.............. That the ex and I were just at two different points in life - no one's fault - just how life had turned out. Then I wake up this morning and it was like being hit with a bomb - feelings of sadness, loneliness etc all landed on me and suddenly it felt like all the progress i'd made over the past while had left. I'm still on NC and won't break, but damn some days it's so hard. Today I feel like a little kid.
kizik Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Thoughts try to invade my head every day. Yesterday was a success for me, as well. And this is largely due to the fact that I told my thoughts of her to F*ck off. As a result I barely thought about her at all. You feel sh*tty b/c you're letting yourself think about her. Immediately switch your thoughts to another topic, and the pain will lessen.
Author northstar1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Thoughts try to invade my head every day. Yesterday was a success for me, as well. And this is largely due to the fact that I told my thoughts of her to F*ck off. As a result I barely thought about her at all. You feel sh*tty b/c you're letting yourself think about her. Immediately switch your thoughts to another topic, and the pain will lessen. Thanks man. Always good advice.
kizik Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 For real though North, have you tried thought replacement / rejection? Does it work for you? Is there anything else going on besides your own thoughts torturing you?
Author northstar1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 For real though North, have you tried thought replacement / rejection? Does it work for you? Is there anything else going on besides your own thoughts torturing you? I have tried, it works sometimes. But the Ex thoughts often come armed with Patriot missles and blow the crap out of the replacment thoughts.
sunshinegirl Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Easy: you had a moment of acceptance and letting go. Then your feelings/subconscious rebelled because you're not really ready, or don't yet really want, to let go. I can recognize the pattern in myself, too: if I have a relatively good day or moment, it's often followed by a horrible trough of sadness and missing him. In all honesty, I think it's just the process we go through in working someone out of our system. (I'm always amazed at how easy it is to observe what's going on for someone else than to recognize it in oneself...)
foxh1234 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I have tried, it works sometimes. But the Ex thoughts often come armed with Patriot missles and blow the crap out of the replacment thoughts. I am going through the same stuff. One day I feel on top of the world and the next day she invades my every thought. I do what Kiz said and change my thoughts and think of something else. It is hard work but the only way for me and for you. Stay strong and move the f**k on. No looking back!!
ioncebelieved Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I tell you when those saddened thoughts invade your mind you really have to actively concentrate on thinking about something else. As we discussed earlier, I am right there along side you. It is just a way to let you know that you are still in pain. The only thing I make from my mess or will be willing to accept is if I can get the right person to spend my life with. You know the right person that does the right things instead of just saying them. What hurts the worst is NOT really knowing how I was thought of!!! Did the dumb a$$ love me or what?????? At times when I was with her I felt her love, but when she was leading her other life...not so much and if people truly love you they wouldn't hurt you so badly!! HENCE MY SIGNATURE UNDER ALL MY POST!!!WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT I MEANT TO HER!!! HANG TOUGH NORTH AND IF I WERE THERE IN CHI TOWN WE WOULD BE TALKING ABOUT THIS CRAP ALL NIGHT LONG. By the way, get me a Homerun Inn pizza, I think is the name!!!! And some of that good a$$ caramel popcorn!!
Author northstar1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 I am going through the same stuff. One day I feel on top of the world and the next day she invades my every thought. I do what Kiz said and change my thoughts and think of something else. It is hard work but the only way for me and for you. Stay strong and move the f**k on. No looking back!! I am certainly trying - and yes no looking back. There is no possibility for us to be together, so I have to crush every last bit of hope that lingers. I'm still in that limbo between letting go of the ex, and be in a spot ready to date others. I WANT to be out on dates with great women, but at the same time, I'm not really fully there yet.
foxh1234 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I am certainly trying - and yes no looking back. There is no possibility for us to be together, so I have to crush every last bit of hope that lingers. I'm still in that limbo between letting go of the ex, and be in a spot ready to date others. I WANT to be out on dates with great women, but at the same time, I'm not really fully there yet. Don't rush the dating thing. I did and it was not only painful but it was not fair to the lady I was dating. You will know when you are ready. All of us will get through this, I know we will. Helping each other every step of the way.
ioncebelieved Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Here is the funny thing: Where were they when you thought everything was going so well???????????? I mean you two are spending great time together and it feels perfect, what part did they fake? How could they have a better time elsewhere? You following me? I thought mine really loved every second we spent together.. Guess I was sadly mistaken. The way we looked at each other.. That is a look that you cannot fake!!!!! Anyways...
bayouboi Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Here is the funny thing: Where were they when you thought everything was going so well???????????? I mean you two are spending great time together and it feels perfect, what part did they fake? How could they have a better time elsewhere? You following me? I thought mine really loved every second we spent together.. Guess I was sadly mistaken. The way we looked at each other.. That is a look that you cannot fake!!!!! Anyways... I know what you mean, bud. I know it's not fair to make generalizations, but now when I look at women I see them as petty and fickle. I am sure the women on this site who were rejected feel the same way about men in general. It just seems like everywhere I look I see all these women who left their Hs and sometimes their babies so they could revert back to being a clubhopping teenybopper and it makes me sick. I used to think highly of U.S. women from the South, but I just don't think they make them like they used to.
ioncebelieved Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I know what you mean, bud. I know it's not fair to make generalizations, but now when I look at women I see them as petty and fickle. I am sure the women on this site who were rejected feel the same way about men in general. It just seems like everywhere I look I see all these women who left their Hs and sometimes their babies so they could revert back to being a clubhopping teenybopper and it makes me sick. I used to think highly of U.S. women from the South, but I just don't think they make them like they used to. Well put about the quality of women! Like you said there are bitter ladies out there towards men. I just thought the one I had was different, pure, respectful and going to be with me forever. I guess that is what I get for thinking. On a brighter/ lighter note, I will be in your state tomorrow at this time hanging out for about a week. If you are near Slidell/ New Orleans and have a decent character, buy ya beer. You in? Going to drink that Dixie, been a while since I had that.
Meaplus3 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Why does today seem so damn hard? What is special about today? I had a good day yesterday - had finally gotten to a point where I was ready to accept that things were finally done and life was going on and we'd end up perfect strangers again.............. That the ex and I were just at two different points in life - no one's fault - just how life had turned out. Then I wake up this morning and it was like being hit with a bomb - feelings of sadness, loneliness etc all landed on me and suddenly it felt like all the progress i'd made over the past while had left. I'm still on NC and won't break, but damn some days it's so hard. Today I feel like a little kid. Yes.. some days will be tough it's all part of the healing process. Give yourself a big pat on the back for staying strong and sticking to NC.. even on this extra tough day. Hang in there. AP:)
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