dazed.1 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I just got a text from the ex saying "Hi. Sorry for messaging you". WTF is that!!! I'm just starting to deal with all this **** and beginning to move on and he dares message me....and what is with the message? I don't even know how to reply to that! I miss him so much, a part of me wants to msg him back, because I don't want him to feel hurt, but I know if I do, he will probably just not return the message or something and I will be the one feeling like **** again....I don't know what to do....everyone I love tells me not to do it.....but I want to so badly.....
stlnsmile Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 You need to remember that people who are sorry, say they are sorry. People who have admitted wrong doing in their own minds, are humble. They are not going to play games at that point. We always let this stuff mess with us, but again, I will say..Is he at your front door with flowers, cause if he's not, then he doesn't care. He hasn't admitted cr** to himself, or come to some realization that he was wrong. There is no humility in what he texted either....like a simple "Im sorry for what I did"....I mean come on chiqua...you deserve better. Don't read into it, if he wants to make amends he knows where to find you, or how to write a simple message. Dont let this be your excuse to contact him, because it will only lead to more pain for you, and an ego boost for him "hehe, she still wants me".....no no no, do not do that. If he wants to have some sort of meaningful discourse, then let him do it. Other wise, leave it alone for your own good.
Author dazed.1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 You know I was about to make an excuse for him (since he is 1000 miles away) that he could not come to my door....but actually....he could! If I meant enough he would do anything and everything he could. But he didn't, just this bull**** text message that he only sent to console himself. I've really realized that he wants me only when he HE needs me and my emotional support, but could never be there for me when I needed him...thats how it always was and thats how it would always be. I'm through! THANK YOU stlnsmile!!!!
Author dazed.1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 why did you break up in the first place Basically because he was a coward. We were in an interracial relationship for 2.5 years when his parents threatened to disown him....we ignored it for a while but he was really on and off with me and made me feel like crap ....we finally just ended it...he was too afraid and could not commit to me.
Author dazed.1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 why did you break up in the first place We were in an interracial relationship for 2.5 years when his parents threatened to disown him....we ignored it for a while but he was really on and off with me and made me feel like crap ....we finally just ended it...he was too afraid and could not commit to me.
stlnsmile Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Once again I am the old pro of parental interferance. Let me just say, my ex, his parents, well, they basically had decided, with out my knowledge, I was just not good enough, from day one. And they made sure that I just was never considered, EVER. Its very easy to do when someone thinks you are not right for their child, they just pretend you do not exsist. But my ex had a choice, love me, and try to work it out with them, orrrrrr, choose them. He chose them. I understand how hard it is to seperate from ones family, but people do it all the time, and eventually get their families back. When one chooses this path, then their feelings were not strong enough for you. I can tell you, stupid me, that I would have fought through hell fire for my ex, even with my family, whom I love. At minimum, they will speak to their parents about the issue, on your behalf. The thing that I relate to the most with you, is the, I was there when he needed me, but he was never there when I needed him. Thats exactly the way it was with my ex. It just makes no sense to stay with someone who can not be there for you. Life throws many things in your path, illness, injury, poverty, loss of loved ones, children, etc....to be with someone who can not be there for you is an excersise in futility in my opinion. I would rather be alone than be with someone who's love changes based on circumstances.
stlnsmile Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 You know I was about to make an excuse for him (since he is 1000 miles away) that he could not come to my door....but actually....he could! If I meant enough he would do anything and everything he could. But he didn't, just this bull**** text message that he only sent to console himself. I've really realized that he wants me only when he HE needs me and my emotional support, but could never be there for me when I needed him...thats how it always was and thats how it would always be. I'm through! THANK YOU stlnsmile!!!! A box of chocolates and a well writen card......same thing....you get my drift. If he really really feels he needs to speak to you in an important way for an important reason...he will make it known, if even through a four page text message. Or a simple, can we talk? Not some weird random text that makes no sense what so ever.
justine4 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I'd say he is just wanting to remind you he is still there (as if you'd forget). He is making his presense known, even though he hasn't much to say. Maybe his stance on things, as far as his parents etc are concerned hasn't changed and thats why there isn't any real content in his text. However, he is most probably missing you and doesn't know what the reaction from you will be so he's feeling his way. I'm usually a real romantic, but if his family are against you and he isn't willing to stand up against that, then there really is no other option than to accept this and continue with the NC - if only for your own sanity.
Author dazed.1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Once again I am the old pro of parental interferance. Let me just say, my ex, his parents, well, they basically had decided, with out my knowledge, I was just not good enough, from day one. And they made sure that I just was never considered, EVER. Its very easy to do when someone thinks you are not right for their child, they just pretend you do not exsist. But my ex had a choice, love me, and try to work it out with them, orrrrrr, choose them. He chose them. I understand how hard it is to seperate from ones family, but people do it all the time, and eventually get their families back. When one chooses this path, then their feelings were not strong enough for you. I can tell you, stupid me, that I would have fought through hell fire for my ex, even with my family, whom I love. At minimum, they will speak to their parents about the issue, on your behalf. The thing that I relate to the most with you, is the, I was there when he needed me, but he was never there when I needed him. Thats exactly the way it was with my ex. It just makes no sense to stay with someone who can not be there for you. Life throws many things in your path, illness, injury, poverty, loss of loved ones, children, etc....to be with someone who can not be there for you is an excersise in futility in my opinion. I would rather be alone than be with someone who's love changes based on circumstances. You are so right, and I know I really could not be with him anymore....but I actually feel sorry for him, I wish I didn't, but I don't want to hurt his feelings
Author dazed.1 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 I'd say he is just wanting to remind you he is still there (as if you'd forget). He is making his presense known, even though he hasn't much to say. Maybe his stance on things, as far as his parents etc are concerned hasn't changed and thats why there isn't any real content in his text. However, he is most probably missing you and doesn't know what the reaction from you will be so he's feeling his way. I'm usually a real romantic, but if his family are against you and he isn't willing to stand up against that, then there really is no other option than to accept this and continue with the NC - if only for your own sanity. That makes so much sense! But of course like a fool I broke NC after his second message today, I just said "You broke my heart, I need to heal". I didn't say not to contact me because I just didn't want it to be over....but it is over. Now he is saying things like how he wished he would have protected me and now I am probably gone forever. what am I supposed to say to that.....he is the one with the choice, not me
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