SadGreenEyes Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Anyone here involved in a long term relationship, married or just dating..Have either you yourself or your significant other gone away on vacation without the other? Do you think this appropriate? For arguments sake, lets say your partner wants to go away on vacation without you to an all inclusive place, Sandals, Club Med, something along those lines? How would most people react? Im so curious as to the forums opinions on this!! SGE
Tripper Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 It's not really about it being appropriate, it's about each partners comfort level with it. Different people in R's will have various levels of comfort and trust with separate vacations. From a personal perspective, I've never understood why one would want a separate vacation unless the R sucks. And if that was the case then what the heck are you doing in such a R??
Moose Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 At least once a year, Mrs. Moose is treated to a weekend get away at a Day Spa. I don't mind what so ever. She deserves to get away from both me and the kids she takes care of 24/7.....
blind_otter Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 From a personal perspective, I've never understood why one would want a separate vacation unless the R sucks. And if that was the case then what the heck are you doing in such a R?? My S/O went away on a "men's retreat" with about 5 of his guy friends, to the mountains in N.C. They went camping and hiking for 3 days. All of the guys have wives/GFs who are either pregnant right now, or who have young babies/toddlers - so none of the wives/GFs went with them.
quankanne Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 [From a personal perspective, I've never understood why one would want a separate vacation unless the R sucks. And if that was the case then what the heck are you doing in such a R?? I disagree – separate vacations are what keeps the relationship running smoothly, and my husband and I are fervent supporters of them. Because I know he'd be bored as hell hanging out with my college buddies reminiscing about stuff we used to do, visiting our old haunting grounds and generally doing things on my schedule, and I'd feel the same way about having to be someplace I didn't want to be. but the bottom line has to be trust – you can't expect the separate vacation thing to work if you don't trust each other to remain faithful to the relationship by not doing things that would hurt said relationship. No looking up exes, no flings, no hanging out at stripclubs, no boozing it up all night, etc. It's about doing those things with your friends/family that you don't normally get to do at home – for him, visiting with his sibs and doing stuff they all want to do; for me, doing girl things like chatty lunches followed by pedicures and checking out stores with my friends. Or reminiscing about the places we used to live in college and driving past them.
Tripper Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 [ I disagree – separate vacations are what keeps the relationship running smoothly, and my husband and I are fervent supporters of them. Because I know he'd be bored as hell hanging out with my college buddies reminiscing about stuff we used to do, visiting our old haunting grounds and generally doing things on my schedule, and I'd feel the same way about having to be someplace I didn't want to be. No problem, I did say it was a personal perspective. I find that time is the commodity we're all short of these days. With different schedules and business travel, I find that vacations for my partner and I give us the much needed time together. To each his own.
quankanne Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 oh, we do vacation together, but we know each other well enough to assess those times when it might not be fun for him to join me when I go back to my hometown to check on my dad or want to have a girls weekend with my college friend.
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