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I wish I was dead, I cant live with this....

Rainswept77

By Rainswept77
in The Other Man / Woman

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Rainswept77 Member

Rainswept77

Posted
Posted

I did what I thought I would never do, and thats become what I hate most....

 

I slept with a married woman a few days ago and got caught by the husband. Apparently they were not seperated like she had told me. He (husband) sent me a bunch of text messages to my phone thanking me for ruining his life. Somehow He got a hold of all the conversations we had on the internet, and also found condoms on her aswel.

 

In my defense I had thought they were seperated, she even told me she was helping him meet other girls.....stupid I know.

But I know its all my fault, I should of waited till they got divorced, But didn't, I fought her for a while, but in the end I got seduced and wasn't thinking straight one night.

 

So now I am ignoring her because I feel deceived and lied too, and am also looking at the pics of there kids and feeling like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t.

I never wanted to be that other guy, I am not really sure how I even got here either. It just sort of happened, Damm my endless bad luck. All I wanted was a great gal, but I never wanted it at this price. I never wanted to hurt this guy. Now I am wondering if he's even as bad as she said he was. Damm

I never felt as low as I do now. All I can think about is ending it, because I am not sure how to live with this shame.

 

 

 

 

And to make matters worse , he said he is going to sue me for emotional damages or whatever, I am not even sure if he can do that?, But he is making me wonder I'll say that, So should I empty out my bank accounts?'

 

regards

~RS77

 

 

 

And on a side note, if you anyone wants to flame and tell me I am an a**hole , I'll save you the trouble and say I already know

Lyssa Established Member

Lyssa

Posted
Posted

Don't beat yourself up - she chose to tell you that she was separated where in actual fact, she is still married to him.

 

In certain states in US, it is possible for a betrayed spouse to sue but I can't get into that cause I don't live in the US. I'm sure someone else on here will be able to help you out on that matter.

White Flower Established Member

White Flower

Posted
Posted

I believe it is called Alienation of Affection. You can google your state to see if they have that very old law.

 

You believed her. We have all been there. Don't blame yourself. You can always text him back and tell him what she told you, that it was over, etc. She created this and you fell into it. If you feel that bad, don't get any further involved until you know she is divorced. But at this point, do you want a liar?

Lookingforward Established Member

Lookingforward

Posted
Posted
I did what I thought I would never do, and thats become what I hate most....

 

I slept with a married woman a few days ago and got caught by the husband. Apparently they were not seperated like she had told me. He (husband) sent me a bunch of text messages to my phone thanking me for ruining his life. Somehow He got a hold of all the conversations we had on the internet, and also found condoms on her aswel.

 

In my defense I had thought they were seperated, she even told me she was helping him meet other girls.....stupid I know.

But I know its all my fault, I should of waited till they got divorced, But didn't, I fought her for a while, but in the end I got seduced and wasn't thinking straight one night.

 

So now I am ignoring her because I feel deceived and lied too, and am also looking at the pics of there kids and feeling like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t.

I never wanted to be that other guy, I am not really sure how I even got here either. It just sort of happened, Damm my endless bad luck. All I wanted was a great gal, but I never wanted it at this price. I never wanted to hurt this guy. Now I am wondering if he's even as bad as she said he was. Damm

I never felt as low as I do now. All I can think about is ending it, because I am not sure how to live with this shame.

 

 

 

 

And to make matters worse , he said he is going to sue me for emotional damages or whatever, I am not even sure if he can do that?, But he is making me wonder I'll say that, So should I empty out my bank accounts?'

 

regards

~RS77

 

 

 

And on a side note, if you anyone wants to flame and tell me I am an a**hole , I'll save you the trouble and say I already know

 

 

I doubt very much you are the only one she has spun the same story to, so I wouldn't worry overmuch about the whole suing for emotional damages stuff

Keridan Established Member

Keridan

Posted
Posted

You are not copable for alienation of affection. He wouldn't be able to exact damages from you. She lied and you were led into the relationship under false pretenses. No court would award him anything and if they (by some sick twist of fate) did, she would be just as guilty and since they are married, it would be his own money he received. The suing thing will never play out.

 

As for your feelings ... calm down, bud. You didn't go out with the intention of hurting anyone, you thought he had already moved on, you tried to control yourself. As far as you knew, you were with someone who was all but free to look around. She's the one that lied to both of you and caused all the bad.

 

Learn from it and stay away from married women. You are too sensitive to how people feel to be in a situation that could end up this way. That's understandable. Find someone free to be with you and who you can trust.

 

Sorry for what you are going through, but I think you are innocent in this. I hope things get better.

bentnotbroken Established Member

bentnotbroken

Posted
Posted

One piece of advice, never have sex unless you see the divorce papers. You were lied to. Don't hold that responsibility, it is her's. Now learn from this mess and be more careful the next time. You were blessed, you could have ended up with a lot more than texts to deal with, like not bullet someowhere.

Lookingforward Established Member

Lookingforward

Posted
Posted
One piece of advice, never have sex unless you see the divorce papers. You were lied to. Don't hold that responsibility, it is her's. Now learn from this mess and be more careful the next time. You were blessed, you could have ended up with a lot more than texts to deal with, like not bullet someowhere.

 

yep, like BNB said, could have been a hundred times worse......just suck it up and move on with your life, and be a tad more careful next time.

silktricks Established Member

silktricks

Posted
Posted
One piece of advice, never have sex unless you see the divorce papers.

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Is that like don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes? :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

But to the OP. You didn't do anything wrong. You believed someone you were attracted to. An error in judgement at worst.

nadiaj2727 Established Member

nadiaj2727

Posted
Posted
I did what I thought I would never do, and thats become what I hate most....

 

I slept with a married woman a few days ago and got caught by the husband. Apparently they were not seperated like she had told me. He (husband) sent me a bunch of text messages to my phone thanking me for ruining his life. Somehow He got a hold of all the conversations we had on the internet, and also found condoms on her aswel.

 

In my defense I had thought they were seperated, she even told me she was helping him meet other girls.....stupid I know.

But I know its all my fault, I should of waited till they got divorced, But didn't, I fought her for a while, but in the end I got seduced and wasn't thinking straight one night.

 

So now I am ignoring her because I feel deceived and lied too, and am also looking at the pics of there kids and feeling like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t.

I never wanted to be that other guy, I am not really sure how I even got here either. It just sort of happened, Damm my endless bad luck. All I wanted was a great gal, but I never wanted it at this price. I never wanted to hurt this guy. Now I am wondering if he's even as bad as she said he was. Damm

I never felt as low as I do now. All I can think about is ending it, because I am not sure how to live with this shame.

 

 

 

 

And to make matters worse , he said he is going to sue me for emotional damages or whatever, I am not even sure if he can do that?, But he is making me wonder I'll say that, So should I empty out my bank accounts?'

 

regards

~RS77

 

 

 

And on a side note, if you anyone wants to flame and tell me I am an a**hole , I'll save you the trouble and say I already know

 

You've realized you made a bad decision and you were lied to and led on. So now you can walk away from her and realize next time that it's probably not the best idea to get yourself involved with someone who is not LEGALLY or otherwise available. Spare yourself the heartache. I think you are doing the right thing by ignoring her. Just keep your chin up and go on your merry way with your lesson learned. Don't beat yourself up too much-- you now have knowledge to make better choices in the future and you started to do the right thing as soon as you learned more information. :)

DoratheExplorer New Member

DoratheExplorer

Posted
Posted

it is very hard for some one to sue you for sleeping with there partner....unless you were have an affair for many years...the only reason i know this is because my father was sleeping w/his secertery for 9 years. she sued her for emotional distress to herself and to me, and won. but if he had only slept with her once she wouldnt have won...so dont start emptying you bank accounts yet. and on to the cheating thing you had absoultely no lue she wasnt seperated from her husband which makes her a worthless POS...

Darth Vader Established Member

Darth Vader

Posted
Posted

Rain, you said that you got caught by the husband, did he catch you 2 in the "ACT" of her riding you? Like others have said, she's likely been doing this before..........

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted

Maybe you should tell him to keep quiet or else you will sue HER for having 'fooled' you... that should shut him off..

Lookingforward Established Member

Lookingforward

Posted
Posted
Rain, you said that you got caught by the husband, did he catch you 2 in the "ACT" of her riding you? Like others have said, she's likely been doing this before..........

 

DV, you're obsessed honey - have you thought of buying a horse? :bunny:

Dark-N-Romantic Established Member

Dark-N-Romantic

Posted
Posted

If you are truly innocent. You did not know about her marital status until after the situation. Then you don't have to worry. If you have emails and stuff to show that she lied all along, you will be vindicated. But, you don't have to move your money. A judge is not going to run you into the dirt. But, now if you are guilty... I suggest you settle. Humble apologize for your actions, pay restitution and then stay the heck away from them and other married women.

 

 

DNR

White Flower Established Member

White Flower

Posted
Posted
DV, you're obsessed honey - have you thought of buying a horse? :bunny:

LMAO, ROTFL:lmao::lmao::lmao:

Meaplus3 Established Member

Meaplus3

Posted
Posted
I did what I thought I would never do, and thats become what I hate most....

 

I slept with a married woman a few days ago and got caught by the husband. Apparently they were not seperated like she had told me. He (husband) sent me a bunch of text messages to my phone thanking me for ruining his life. Somehow He got a hold of all the conversations we had on the internet, and also found condoms on her aswel.

 

In my defense I had thought they were seperated, she even told me she was helping him meet other girls.....stupid I know.

But I know its all my fault, I should of waited till they got divorced, But didn't, I fought her for a while, but in the end I got seduced and wasn't thinking straight one night.

 

So now I am ignoring her because I feel deceived and lied too, and am also looking at the pics of there kids and feeling like the worlds biggest piece of sh*t.

I never wanted to be that other guy, I am not really sure how I even got here either. It just sort of happened, Damm my endless bad luck. All I wanted was a great gal, but I never wanted it at this price. I never wanted to hurt this guy. Now I am wondering if he's even as bad as she said he was. Damm

I never felt as low as I do now. All I can think about is ending it, because I am not sure how to live with this shame.

 

 

 

 

And to make matters worse , he said he is going to sue me for emotional damages or whatever, I am not even sure if he can do that?, But he is making me wonder I'll say that, So should I empty out my bank accounts?'

 

regards

~RS77

 

 

 

And on a side note, if you anyone wants to flame and tell me I am an a**hole , I'll save you the trouble and say I already know

 

Don't be so hard on yourself... you made a mistake now remove yourself from her life. This woman IMO had no morals of any kind if she was able to deceive you this way. Now forget about her and move on. As for the H and sueing you? Honestly I have never heard of such a thing, so I would not worry about him. Learn from this mistake and move on. Stay strong.

 

AP:)

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

Meet with him in a public place, sit down like men and apologize. Tell him that you thought she was seperated and that she played both of you. Also be willing to testify if he does end up in divorce court. You two can become allies in this instead of fighting over her.

Ally Boo Established Member

Ally Boo

Posted
Posted

I hope you realize by the other responses that it isn't your fault for being deceived. The husband is just upset and needs someone to blame, but I CERTAINLY would make sure the sorry sob knows that, yeah, sorry his life is ruined and thanks for the heads up in telling you his wife wasn't actually single as she said she was. I would also threaten harassment.

 

I was in a situation like this once. We hadn't slept with each other, but the dude told me he was single and wanted to get involved after years of us only beingi friends. Then when his crazy gf found out he was talking to me, she started texting me incessantly, she started saying all of these things he had apparently said about ME that wasn't true. Like... that I was a friend's cousin and had a crush on him. When in reality, the guy had confessed his undying love for me just days before.

 

Finally, I told them both that if they didn't stop harassing me and putting me in THEIR problem, I was going to press charges. I mean, seriously, it's not your fault so don't accept blame for her being a psycho and him needing someone to blame. Be strong and firm with that situation.

Darth Vader Established Member

Darth Vader

Posted
Posted
DV, you're obsessed honey - have you thought of buying a horse? :bunny:

 

 

No, have you? If I didn't know better, I'd be saying that you wanted a "ride"!:lmao::p Ok, J/K!:p:lmao:

 

But seriously, It's a very effective way of painting a verbal picture, simular to a form of "Shock and Awe". Apparently, it works, hence, your comments, you're in Shock and Awe!:p:lmao: It's been very effective in showing the brutality of sick digusting selfish behavior that some choose to inflict upon other people.:sick: Some people don't realize the TRUE horror of their actions unless faced with the grusome reality of the situation that they insisted on creating.:eek::sick:

 

Believe me, and that's not going to be hard for you to do, It's rattled a lot of cheater's nerves.:eek: You've seen it firsthand. Their anger expresses it all, they can't handle it, take it, fight it, or whatever you wanna call it!

 

Any single lady want a "RIDE"?:p:lmao::cool:;):laugh::love::):bunny:

Lookingforward Established Member

Lookingforward

Posted
Posted
No, have you? If I didn't know better, I'd be saying that you wanted a "ride"!:lmao::p Ok, J/K!:p:lmao:

 

But seriously, It's a very effective way of painting a verbal picture, simular to a form of "Shock and Awe". Apparently, it works, hence, your comments, you're in Shock and Awe!:p:lmao: It's been very effective in showing the brutality of sick digusting selfish behavior that some choose to inflict upon other people.:sick: Some people don't realize the TRUE horror of their actions unless faced with the grusome reality of the situation that they insisted on creating.:eek::sick:

 

Believe me, and that's not going to be hard for you to do, It's rattled a lot of cheater's nerves.:eek: You've seen it firsthand. Their anger expresses it all, they can't handle it, take it, fight it, or whatever you wanna call it!

 

Any single lady want a "RIDE"?:p:lmao::cool:;):laugh::love::):bunny:

 

I just find crudity offputting that's all.

 

Just poking at you DV :)

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted
Meet with him in a public place, sit down like men and apologize. Tell him that you thought she was seperated and that she played both of you. Also be willing to testify if he does end up in divorce court. You two can become allies in this instead of fighting over her.

 

I agree with Wog, IF you decide to do this, ask a friend of yours to go with you and to sit at the next table, just incase..

 

Forgive yourself. You allowed this woman to rope you in, she led you to believe she was on the way to separation when infact she wasn't. Maybe there were red flags that you missed, I don't know, but right now it serves no purpose beating yourself up over this. The A is over and you aren't seeing or talking to her anymore.

Darth Vader Established Member

Darth Vader

Posted
Posted
I just find crudity offputting that's all.

 

Just poking at you DV :)

 

 

Oh, I know. Heck, I even figured that you knew why I said such things. But, I seem to remember that you said it gets you frazzled or whatever you said, I can't remember exactly. If it makes you feel that way, and you havn't done anything, just think what they're going through reading it!:cool:

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Rainswept77 Member

Rainswept77

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thanks everyone for there kind words...

 

I have moved on from the situation since, I admit that I should of waited till after the official divorce. I didn't know that they were still together though.

 

To be honest I still dont know who is lying here, But to me it doesn't matter, it takes up way too much head space, And also l am turned off by the whole thing anyways. So I wish them both well. And hope the kids never find out.

 

 

After a week or so, I come to realize that I am not a bad person I just simply made a mistake, an honest one. I had some genuine feelings for this girl, and while I insisted we wait a bit, I couldnt help it one night. What are you going to do?....I'm just human, I'm sure even self rightous people would agree.

 

 

And to answer the troll, We werent caught in the act...I already explained how we were caught in my orginal post.

He had intercepted our convos by rigging her AIM to send the convo logs to his e-mail address, Not really sure if thats the truth, but its what I was told.

 

 

regards ~RW77

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