kindaforward Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Ugh... there's this guy whom I really like. I have his phone number, so in a little drunken stupor i messaged him saying "Don't take this the wrong way but I think you are really cute". He replied "Aw thanks! Why would I take it the wrong way?".... I'm so stupid! I feel like a complete idiot. I just maybe I am overreacting, but doesn't it sound like he is just not interested in me?
SeraBella Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Um...I think it will take a little more information or interaction between the two of you to determine if he is interested or not.
Author kindaforward Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Um...I think it will take a little more information or interaction between the two of you to determine if he is interested or not. I just feel that if he knew I was interested in him and he was interested back he would have said something like I was cute too. He seemed terribly friendly and apologetic. Even though this post might look like a joke, its actually serious. I want to know if I should just move on or not. I need to know if maybe I am perceiving things the wrong way. I dont want to stick around in vain, or give up and lose it something.
allanDR Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 dont give up. thats probably the exact same response i wouldve sent if i was interested. take the initiative here.
J2FT1 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I just feel that if he knew I was interested in him and he was interested back he would have said something like I was cute too. He seemed terribly friendly and apologetic. Even though this post might look like a joke, its actually serious. I want to know if I should just move on or not. I need to know if maybe I am perceiving things the wrong way. I dont want to stick around in vain, or give up and lose it something. Why did you say "I don't want you to take this the wrong way?" When a girl tells me that then tells me that I'm cute, I will think that she just simply thinks I'm cute, nothing more.
SeraBella Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I just feel that if he knew I was interested in him and he was interested back he would have said something like I was cute too. He seemed terribly friendly and apologetic. Even though this post might look like a joke, its actually serious. I want to know if I should just move on or not. I need to know if maybe I am perceiving things the wrong way. I dont want to stick around in vain, or give up and lose it something. I didn't take your post as a joke. It's just that one text back and forth can't possibly say much, and it's not very personal. I think you need to see how he acts in person, or over longer conversations. I wouldn't have expected him to spill his guts after hearing you think he's cute, especially via text. In general, one of the biggest problems us women seem to have is overanalyzing something a man says...and men just usually are not that complex. In times like your situation, this is something to keep in mind. Don't fret...it's just a text...and nowhere in the text does he indicate non-interest. He may not be certain what you meant by it. You used the "don't take this the wrong way.." part as a defense mechanism so if he would take it the wrong way, you could easily just say "i was just saying you're cute, nothing more." Well, even if he's interested he could be using defense mechanisms as well. Or he may think you're joking. When I was in college I pursued a guy that I had 4 of 5 classes with one semester. I got a vibe that he was interested in me, and I'd try to hang around after class to talk, etc. but we never had much chance to talk. Finally I used the campus directory to call him and just went for it, and he thought it was a big joke. Turns out he was extremely insecure. Once he had realized I wasn't joking (which took convincing on my half), we met up that night and talked for a few hours at a picnic table, and we ended up dating for a few months. I have to say I think drunken texting sometimes gets us in more trouble than drunk calls. At least with a drunk call they can usually tell you're drinking...with a drunk text they're often left wondering what the purpose of the text was.
stillafool Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I would have been confused by your text also. "don't take it the wrong way but I think you're cute" would make me ask myself is she saying I already think I'm too cute but she'll tell me anyway or what exactly is she saying? This is why people need to start having more conversations over the phone because it is too hard to read people when it is in some stupid text message.
Author kindaforward Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 thank you so much for your replies. And yes I used it as a defense mechanism because I didn't want him to think I was coming on to him, and specially since I have no idea if he likes me or not. With him everything is just so confusing. Thats why I worded the text the way I did, I honestly thought he would have said I was cute too or something if he was interested. Now Im scared of messaging him all together. I don't know what to do.
SeraBella Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 thank you so much for your replies. And yes I used it as a defense mechanism because I didn't want him to think I was coming on to him, and specially since I have no idea if he likes me or not. With him everything is just so confusing. Thats why I worded the text the way I did, I honestly thought he would have said I was cute too or something if he was interested. Now Im scared of messaging him all together. I don't know what to do. With dating, everything seems confusing at some point. If prior to that message you texted each other often, then continue to do things the way you did before! If you didn't, then maybe say hello once in awhile, or ask what he's up to, whatever...just to express some interest. If he ignores you, or if his replies end up being very short and he doesn't seem to reciprocate with the questions, then I'd probably back off. How often do you see him? Just continue to act the way you always did, but maybe throw in some flirting that wasn't a part of it before. Don't throw yourself at him, but a little flirting isn't going to hurt anything. See if he acts more flirtatious around you, etc. If he seems to avoid you, just back off. You can still act friendly towards him, but just pretend you didn't say anything. It's not a big deal...if you didn't break the ice with your text, then the chance of something happening was unlikely, but now you've opened things up...you could end up with a few great dates, or a relationship out of it. If not, oh well, think of the courage (although it was liquid) you had to take the next step! What you said could easily be taken as a simple compliment, so it's not like you have to be embarrassed that you said too much. If you said something like "Don't take this the wrong way, but I want to f your brains out." Then yeah, I'd say you should be a little embarrassed.
Author kindaforward Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Hey everyone, so I took the plunge and called him, after talking for a while I just came out and asked him why he hadn't really replied to my text. And he said, that he thought I was really cute too... yeah lol But the thing is that pretty much since the convo started it took sort of a sexual undertone. We pretty much talked about sexual topics for about one hour. With just a bit of other info hear and there about past relationships and friends. I dont know, I think he is not looking for anything serious. He did tell me he hadn't sex in a while due to a personal choice, but I dontknow what to think. In all honesty this didn't really sound too promising for me, so I think I am just going to drop this one. I am not looking for a sex buddy right now
just-a-girl Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I agree if the first time you talk to him it is about sex that is probably all he wants. I have talked to a ton of guys where it did not come up for while those were the ones that did not just want sex. If he wants more than that he will contact you and I would stay away from the undertones in the beginning.
stillafool Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I agree. It sounds like this guy is interested in just sex and you deserve more. I don't blame you for moving on. Good luck there are tons of good guys out there.
Walk Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 It goes from "does he like me?" To: "Omg he said I was cute." To: "He does like me" To: "He wants to have sex with me!" Finally: "I'm done". I found the steps of that situation interesting.
Author kindaforward Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 It goes from "does he like me?" To: "Omg he said I was cute." To: "He does like me" To: "He wants to have sex with me!" Finally: "I'm done". I found the steps of that situation interesting. I got to talk to him and he looked more interested on sex than establishing anything else. Why would I want to pursue something I am not that comfortable with?
Walk Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I got to talk to him and he looked more interested on sex than establishing anything else. Why would I want to pursue something I am not that comfortable with? You're doing what you feel is best, definitely go with it. I'm just having a bad day, and the sequence of events struck me funny. Dark humor. Sorry.
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