mustangsally Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I just posted this, but it didn't turn up for some reason. My ex and I broke up on the 4th for mutual reasons. Me: I'm depressed and don't feel I'm doing well in the relationship. I also am annoyed with his lack of drive. Him: He feels that he has wrapped himself up in me so far that he lost his drive and must seperate himself from me for now. We are thinking of eventually getting back together, but we don't know when or if it will happen. Problem is, we both still really love each other. He tells me he loves me everyday and calls me crying. I was in the hospital over the weekend because I got really sick and he came the first night and cried and the second decided not to. I just don't know what to do. How do you get over someone you really love when the feelings are mutual?
Trialbyfire Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Instead of breaking up with this, have you considered some form of individual counseling for each of you? You both know the issues that each has to work on, so why not work on them together?
Author mustangsally Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 I asked him about alternatives to breaking up because I didn't want to lose him, but my head and my heart were telling me different things. He said he didn't see any way through this but breaking up because he needs space to sort out his problems.... I would prefer to sort out the problems with him, but oh well....but I'm also very confused about whether or not I want to be with him anyway...
Trialbyfire Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 If someone needs space, I'm a firm believer in giving them as much space as they can handle and more. You can't be his emotional tampon, if he chooses to do this on his own. He's going to have to learn to either man up and do it on his own or be prepared to be an equal partner in a mature relationship.
Author mustangsally Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Yeah I agree. I just talked to him and he wants to make a clean break for right now and not think about getting back together or not getting back together. Its hard. I do miss him. He wants us not to talk to each other for now as well....
Author mustangsally Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Well, that lasted all of five minutes. He already wrote to me after that. LMAO, okay....
Author mustangsally Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 but i think that was the "last time" one. Still hurts. How do you deal when you both desperately love each other?
critter909 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 You also said you were not sure if you wanted to be with him. Why don't you look at this as a break for you too to figure out what you want. You don't want to get back together with him unless you are sure, it hurts just as bad to break up the second time...
dazed.1 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 If someone needs space, I'm a firm believer in giving them as much space as they can handle and more. You can't be his emotional tampon, if he chooses to do this on his own. He's going to have to learn to either man up and do it on his own or be prepared to be an equal partner in a mature relationship. WOW right on the mark!
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