gummybear Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Met man online, exchanged few awesome emails, it felt right so I agreed to meet with him tomorrow (last two guys I met online became my bfs so I thought I was getting pretty good with this stuff haha). Today we IMed for the first time and it was only for a few minutes...didn't really go into much conversation (while we talked alot via email) and I dunno but it felt so different and not right. My instincts were right. His last msg was 'back in a bit ' and that was one hour ago. Sucks. Guess after 2 hits I got a miss haha.
Jilly Bean Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 You need to chill, Gummy. Are you familar with guy time, and girl time? When a girl says, BRB, she means like 5 minutes. When a guy says it, it translates to SOMETIME THIS WEEK. You have no idea what came up for him. Called into an emergency meeting at work, power went out - who knows. Just relax. Keep your date, and keep the faith!
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 He's probably looking forward to chatting with you on the actual date. It always gets a little awkward (for me, anyway) after we've made the plan to meet. At this point, I really don't WANT to keep chatting or expect that he will either; we've done the e-mail/phone/IM thing, now we're meeting in person, let's just wait for that. I hate small talk anyway, and small talk over IM is exceptionally irritating. Don't completely write him off because he wrote "back in a bit" and didn't return after an hour. It's the workday and the guy has a life and obligations.
bones1 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Its online dating!. Chances are he is chatting with other people at the same time, and might have found someone else more interesting at that time.
Author gummybear Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Ya i know what you mean except today HE was the one who IMed me to begin with so I figured he wanted to chat. After the hour, I IMed him if he's back and 5 mins later he said he's back and he sounds all chirpy and all. I dunno. Doesnt feel right. My last 2 bfs were not like this at the beginning. They both did later admit they only talked to me and dated me and no one else from the very very start because they had no interest in anyone else. I won't lie. I expect a guy to be into me from the very beginning like with my last 2 bfs or else I lose interest. This new guy seemed like it until today.
Author gummybear Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Alright so he logged off at first for his coffee meeting then logged back on and 10 mins later IMs me for small talk. I dunno why but I just don't feel it anymore. Like he hit a button and I lost all interest. I mean we've exchanged pages of emails about awesome things. Now I don't even feel like replying. Ugh. I even want to just cancel tomorrow. Maybe I'm not ready to date. He's a few year younger than my last 2 bfs. I mean when he said brb his screenname never went to idle. Whereas it has before in the past, so I dont think he ever left his computer. I hope he's not a game player. I hate games.
Jilly Bean Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Wow. If he not responding to you within 10 minutes if enough to turn you off, then I concur you shouldn't be dating.
Author gummybear Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Wow. If he not responding to you within 10 minutes if enough to turn you off, then I concur you shouldn't be dating. Ugh that hurts. Shoot. Okay I will force myself to regroup. *deep breaths* Ok, I'm gonna reply to him.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I wonder why you need the guy to come on all strong and be so available right away. It seems like you like and need that external validation right from the gate. Not only is that not healthy and realistic, it's unhealthy and realistic of any guy (or gal) to provide that. I don't know your history, or when your last breakup was, but maybe you aren't ready to date. Also, I would strongly suggest you examine your relationship patterns. If you need a guy to be hot 'n heavy at the beginning or else you'll lose interest, that's not a good thing.
Author gummybear Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 I wonder why you need the guy to come on all strong and be so available right away. It seems like you like and need that external validation right from the gate. Not only is that not healthy and realistic, it's unhealthy and realistic of any guy (or gal) to provide that. I don't know your history, or when your last breakup was, but maybe you aren't ready to date. Also, I would strongly suggest you examine your relationship patterns. If you need a guy to be hot 'n heavy at the beginning or else you'll lose interest, that's not a good thing. Yea you're right. I'm trying my best to chill right now. Shall see how it goes.
Jilly Bean Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Ugh that hurts. Shoot. Okay I will force myself to regroup. *deep breaths* Ok, I'm gonna reply to him. It was a gentle bitch slap, Gummy. Obviously it worked... Girl - I am SO like you. I like a guy to be up my heinie from the get-go. So, that means I like constant phone calls, IM's, texts, etc. If a guy was late with one, I would tweak and also tell myself IT'S OVER! I would even set deadlines. Like, if he doesn't call me by 12NOON, I'm done. Totally, totally wrong. And I am lightyears better with this now... Yes, please do chill. It sounds like it's going really well! Don't let your expectations cloud it.
Author gummybear Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 It was a gentle bitch slap, Gummy. Obviously it worked... Girl - I am SO like you. I like a guy to be up my heinie from the get-go. So, that means I like constant phone calls, IM's, texts, etc. If a guy was late with one, I would tweak and also tell myself IT'S OVER! I would even set deadlines. Like, if he doesn't call me by 12NOON, I'm done. Totally, totally wrong. And I am lightyears better with this now... Yes, please do chill. It sounds like it's going really well! Don't let your expectations cloud it. HAHA! Thanks I needed that slap in the face. Ok so one thing I learned is that this guy is chatty via email but not so with IM. Anyway, meeting up with him tomorrow and hopefully we fall in love with each other and live happily ever after Okay okay too far ahead of myself. Haha. Alright I just hope he's not weird or weird-looking .
Jilly Bean Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 HAHA! Thanks I needed that slap in the face. Ok so one thing I learned is that this guy is chatty via email but not so with IM. Anyway, meeting up with him tomorrow and hopefully we fall in love with each other and live happily ever after Okay okay too far ahead of myself. Haha. Alright I just hope he's not weird or weird-looking . Good girl! I am proud of you for catching yourself before you pulled the trigger on him. Keep us posted on the date!
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 You need to chill, Gummy. Are you familar with guy time, and girl time? When a girl says, BRB, she means like 5 minutes. When a guy says it, it translates to SOMETIME THIS WEEK. You have no idea what came up for him. Called into an emergency meeting at work, power went out - who knows. Just relax. Keep your date, and keep the faith! Unless your talking about girl time and boy time when it concern things like the use of the bathroom (especially if its in public and you have your chichas along). The time it takes to get dressed. Shopping time. Or watching soaps. But, yeah, boy time and girl time is really different, like boy commitment time and girl commitment time, boy idea of fun and girl idea of fun. DNR Wow I like his boy whatever vs. girl whatever thingy.
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