Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Nobody is talking about dropping lives and not having fun. And if you say he isn't a huge partier, then fine. But people who party all the time are NOT marriage material and this comes from experience. Nobody is saying that when you get married you can't go to a function, party, whatever..and have fun once in a while. I am talking about the cronic partier. but coming from someone who was married to someone that went out with girlfriends and came home at 4am or the next day.....it isn't good. Trust me on that one. DISCLAIMER: I know this isn't the case with LB and her man, just a comment in general. Yeah I can imagine that would be hard. I have some friends (like my friends who party till 5 am) probably isn't in a position to get married anytime soon.
melodymatters Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 very. it's like saying: Don't take advice from so and so because it's absolutely no good. that's not right, and it's also not true. just differing opinions. anyway. i like Touche. but the truth is that you two are too quick to label. you guys almost never give anyone or the situation the benefit of a doubt. what is that called? Laurie: i forgot to say that the way the whole thing panned out was the result of bad planning/thinking on behalf of your BF. truly, he approached things in a wrong way, without thinking things thoroughly. but, as someone else said, i see absolutely no malice or intent to hurt you on his behalf. sure, maybe he was a little dense in the way he went about it, but i honestly don't see how he is trying to be a prick to you. think about it. you guys just started living together not long ago. maybe he thinks this is the proper way to handle matters of the like, but if you think otherwise, just discuss it with him after. but really, he was just a little dense. he is not trying to hurt you, LB. saying so is nonsense. Touche and TBF ALWAYS give me the benefit of the doubt. I believe, thats because they know i am strong woman capable of making relatively decent decisions given the information i have at the time. In fact, if either of them WERE to take me to task, I would strongly consider what they we're saying ! But i only got to page 17 or so, and had to jump in, I'll go back to reading the posts now;). LB, yeah I believe it is disrespectful and immature, and I couldn't really , PERSONALLY feel good about it, but i would probably leave because i hate effin drama, and if this means so damn much to him, fine. But, it would go on the mental list, know that !
melodymatters Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 phew, finally finished the thread ! glad you guys we're able to communicate so effectively ! mel
Touche Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Touche and TBF ALWAYS give me the benefit of the doubt. I believe, thats because they know i am strong woman capable of making relatively decent decisions given the information i have at the time. In fact, if either of them WERE to take me to task, I would strongly consider what they we're saying ! But i only got to page 17 or so, and had to jump in, I'll go back to reading the posts now;). LB, yeah I believe it is disrespectful and immature, and I couldn't really , PERSONALLY feel good about it, but i would probably leave because i hate effin drama, and if this means so damn much to him, fine. But, it would go on the mental list, know that ! Thanks, Mel! That was nice of you to say. See here's the thing though. Most people who post about something, like LB on this issue here, already know deep down that something isn't right or they probably wouldn't be posting about it. So I don't get where this "benefit of the doubt" thing comes in to play. I'm usually SUPPORTING whatever the OP's initial doubt or whatever is that made them post in the first place. Because I believe that most people's gut feeling is usually right on the mark. Now there ARE exceptions. Sometimes I people can over-think and over-analyze something and I'll think that there really is NO issue when the poster thinks that there is. And in that case, I won't support the OP's initial post. It just depends on the issue. But if there's a perception of that I don't give the benefit of the doubt, well I think that's really wrong. It's something not based on fact at all to say such a thing. Anyway, thanks Mel!
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Yeah but who really cares what Touche and TBF think? Just because you have their approval, that means something? LOL this is funny. They are on here 24/7. They basically have no lives outside this internet site. It is the one place where people look up to them are they are "important." To me they are not people to exactly look up to. Ugh, please don't start drama and fights in here, I don't want it closed down! After 350 some posts, it's nice to know that it hasn't been jacked yet. So I repeat to let the above comment go, it's not worth getting upset about.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 phew, finally finished the thread ! glad you guys we're able to communicate so effectively ! mel LOL thanks for reading 300 some posts! It did get a lot more updated as the thread went on. We end up working everything out and understand each other's point of view. Wow we have seriously come a long way since last year!
melodymatters Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Yeah but who really cares what Touche and TBF think? Just because you have their approval, that means something? LOL this is funny. They are on here 24/7. They basically have no lives outside this internet site. It is the one place where people look up to them are they are "important." To me they are not people to exactly look up to. Sorry, my mistake. Next time I want advice, I'll go ask the homeless crack addict on the beach, instead of 2 strong, smart woman who actually have their shyte together ( on here AND in real life). Like attracts like, sugar, so it makes sense that I would respect their opinions more than say.... a brand new poster who i know nothing about. And kiddo, some of us work from home and have LOTS of free time. Don't be jealous
Lyssa Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 a brand new poster who i know nothing about. I don't think it's a new poster... a born again, maybe.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 I don't think it's a new poster... a born again, maybe. Yeah who's trying to stir up trouble in my threads. Not what we want here at LS.
Trialbyfire Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Thanks Mel. We're people just like everyone else. This forum is driven by advice and opinions of varied types. What's irritating are people who believe that this is a competition or a form of one-upmanship game. Get real! People need help so provide advice or opinion as best as you can and stop worrying about whether your advice is taken or not, or credibility in general. These are your own insecurities. The OPs of the threads will decide what they want to do, sometimes meshing different types of advice, like LB did, to create what works for them!
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Sorry, my mistake. Next time I want advice, I'll go ask the homeless crack addict on the beach, instead of 2 strong, smart woman who actually have their shyte together ( on here AND in real life). Like attracts like, sugar, so it makes sense that I would respect their opinions more than say.... a brand new poster who i know nothing about. And kiddo, some of us work from home and have LOTS of free time. Don't be jealous I dont think there is anything wrong with being on this site all the time. (except that we'd probably get more work done lol). I think that it's very beneficial for anyone who is struggling with a relationship or just feels good about giving others advice. I don't see anything wrong with anyone coming on LS a lot. If a poster here views this site like that, then I'm not sure why it would help them to be here.
melodymatters Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I for one, have become a wiser, stronger, more self respecting woman for my time spent here. And, i have passed much of that wisdom on to people in my life that I care about How can one possibly argue with that ? lol
Touche Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I dont think there is anything wrong with being on this site all the time. (except that we'd probably get more work done lol). I think that it's very beneficial for anyone who is struggling with a relationship or just feels good about giving others advice. I don't see anything wrong with anyone coming on LS a lot. If a poster here views this site like that, then I'm not sure why it would help them to be here. Well don't worry...those lemon sourpusses don't end up staying around here for very long if you get my drift. And yes, I love to post and try to help or just be entertained in between my work. It makes the day more enjoyable to break up my work with some play time. I feel fortunate that I can do that. Me too, Melody. It's helped me be more tolerant to other people's views. I've learned a lot about myself being on LS. And the friendships formed have been just great. Even people who I don't really communicate with outside of LS, like LB here..well I like to keep up with what's going on in there lives. It's interesting to me. And I end up really caring about what happens to them.
Star Gazer Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Thanks Mel. We're people just like everyone else. This forum is driven by advice and opinions of varied types. What's irritating are people who believe that this is a competition or a form of one-upmanship game. Get real! People need help so provide advice or opinion as best as you can and stop worrying about whether your advice is taken or not, or credibility in general. These are your own insecurities. I'm not insecure about the advice I give. People can take it, or leave it. That said, weren't you in agreement with Touche that the OP should look at the source of the advice given?
porter218 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 humm... methink your bf needs to grow up... he's still very juvenile about his friends... he's NOT single anymore... you should be his priority.. not his friends... He is being totally disrespectful.. and you are allowing him to walk all over you.. I told you this before.. and I will repeat this.. I do not give you more than 2 years together.. This guy is a selfish jerk.. even his friends have no consideration for you.. Why can't they go somewhere else... I never had this happened to me.. I would have told him to 'get lost' and have the party somewhere else... My bet is that you'll be the one cleaning up the mess... after being thrown out of your place... What a bunch of losers... this reminds me of a thread last year about a guy who wanted to have his friends over at their apart.. only wearing their underwear.. anyone remember that thread? I am in total agreement with Lizzie here. What type of man are you dating? This is such an absurd situation. If my husband at any point had asked me to leave my own house overnight I would look at him like he had just sprouted an extra eyeball, I wouldn't even justify this with a response. It sounds like he is still in high school. He needs to either deal with you being there at night or spring for a hotel. But even being asked this question would make me reconsider my relationship.
Lyssa Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I am in total agreement with Lizzie here. What type of man are you dating? This is such an absurd situation. If my husband at any point had asked me to leave my own house overnight I would look at him like he had just sprouted an extra eyeball, I wouldn't even justify this with a response. It sounds like he is still in high school. He needs to either deal with you being there at night or spring for a hotel. But even being asked this question would make me reconsider my relationship. OMG. Didn't Laurie said it's over already? She has settled the issue with her BF!
Trialbyfire Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I think sometimes people, including myself, can sometimes get too wrapped up in rolling over because we care too much about making peace or making it work. You have to learn to let the little things slide and take a stance with the things that are meaningful. I'm not insecure about the advice I give. People can take it, or leave it. That said, weren't you in agreement with Touche that the OP should look at the source of the advice given? Read what I wrote.
JP77 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Laurie, don't let to the sour krauts, you and your boyfriend have resolved the situation. Next time just make sure it doesn't happen again and set boundaries so he has to ask for your permission to invite his friends around. Your boyfriend was inconsiderate, but juvenile? I don't think so, he wants some quality time with his friends, it's good to escape once in a while. You know? I am sure you are the same. I've never understood why a person cannot have a relationship while maintaining strong ties with friends? The truth is you can, you just need to a strike a healthy balance. I couldn't spend all my time with my gf, it would drive me mad and I'd get bored. It's nice to be goof around with friends once in a while. Sour krauts don't know what it is like to have fun. Don't listen to Sours, Laurie, from what you've written, your relationship is fine, this was one hickup of small proportions. Next time, don't listen to sour krauts unless it is about something major, sour krauts have good advice for major issues.
JP77 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 OMG. Didn't Laurie said it's over already? She has settled the issue with her BF! High maintance women out in full force again. These feminist charged make me laugh, they are the offspring of joan rivers.
blind_otter Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 High maintance women out in full force again. These feminist charged make me laugh, they are the offspring of joan rivers. Joan Rivers is a feminist? News to me. I thought she was a comedian who was addicted to cosmetic surgery.
JP77 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Joan Rivers is a feminist? News to me. I thought she was a comedian who was addicted to cosmetic surgery. Shows how much you know, she chews men up and spits them out like no other, with exception to homosexual, she likes homosexual men. I was actually making a comparison to attitude. Not feminism.
Touche Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Joan Rivers is a feminist? News to me. I thought she was a comedian who was addicted to cosmetic surgery. And what are you doing on here, missy? You're supposed to be giving birth today!
blind_otter Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Shows how much you know, she chews men up and spits them out like no other, with exception to homosexual, she likes homosexual men. I was actually making a comparison to attitude. Not feminism. Your comparison makes absolutely no sense. But I'm not surprised. Also I wasn't aware that feminism involves "chewing men up and spitting them out." Forgive me, though, as the definition I am familiar with involves sociopolitical reasoning.
blind_otter Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 And what are you doing on here, missy? You're supposed to be giving birth today! Knowing me I'll probably be posting while in early labor. I have to say some of the things guys say on here makes me terrified of how my baby will turn out. I hope he doesn't turn out like....some people....
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