Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Women have no right to be intruding on a lads night out or in for that matter. His friends have NO RIGHT to take over my apartment for a weekend.
Lizzie60 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Humm... LB.. Methink you better put your foot down soon.. or else he'll wipe his two feet on you.. What I get from your posts.. is that you seem to NOT know what's going on in HIS life... like he's not consulting you about his stuff... I get that from bits of your posts: I think he suggested I leave for the whole weekend..I'm not sure he really didn't make it clear. I said that I was going to come back on Saturday to change for my cousins graduation party and he said that they would try to go to lunch during that time. I don't know what that means, so I asked him and he said that our apartment will probably be messy and the bathroom will be messy too, so it would be hard to get ready. I have no idea. That was what I actually said. He said 7 guys using a bathroom and apartment would make it hard for me to be in. Honestly messes don't even bother me that much, I'm not an insane neat freak (which he is, so I'm not sure why he doesn't care about this). so I don't kno why this would bother him. You sure don't sound like you two are living together.. jeezzz... when he says something.. make sure you understand what he's saying.. and what does that mean FOR YOU... And this: I think he would FLIP OUT if our apartment was covered with puke and clothes. Do you honestly think that he will 'control' his drunken friends... come on.. what if some guys puke all over.. what the hell is he going to do about it.. No.. he will not flip out.. he could be p*ssed at the boys.. but he won't flip out.. You need a good reality check my dear.. you are way too soft with him.. and trust me HE WILL take advantage of you. You don't seem to have many good friends... but he seems to still be living his 'bachelor' life.. parties scheduled .. without you.. and YOU.. what do YOU have?... You need to stand on your 2 feet and quick.. before he takes control of the relationship.. you need to have a serious talk ...
Lizzie60 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 His friends have NO RIGHT to take over my apartment for a weekend. I agree.. but posting about it on LS.. will NOT solve your problem... YOU need to take care of this... and tell him THIS.
Touche Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Women have no right to be intruding on a lads night out or in for that matter. .......
Star Gazer Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 His friends have NO RIGHT to take over my apartment for a weekend. Remember, LB. It's not YOUR apartment. It's his too. Do your friends have a "right" to visit you at the apartment? I think so, and I'd hope your BF would too.
Jilly Bean Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 LB, you poor thing. I bet you had no idea your simple query would generate such a response! Will be interesting to see how it all falls out...
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Humm... LB.. Methink you better put your foot down soon.. or else he'll wipe his two feet on you.. What I get from your posts.. is that you seem to NOT know what's going on in HIS life... like he's not consulting you about his stuff... I get that from bits of your posts: I think he suggested I leave for the whole weekend..I'm not sure he really didn't make it clear. I said that I was going to come back on Saturday to change for my cousins graduation party and he said that they would try to go to lunch during that time. I don't know what that means, so I asked him and he said that our apartment will probably be messy and the bathroom will be messy too, so it would be hard to get ready. I have no idea. That was what I actually said. He said 7 guys using a bathroom and apartment would make it hard for me to be in. Honestly messes don't even bother me that much, I'm not an insane neat freak (which he is, so I'm not sure why he doesn't care about this). so I don't kno why this would bother him. You sure don't sound like you two are living together.. jeezzz... when he says something.. make sure you understand what he's saying.. and what does that mean FOR YOU... And this: I think he would FLIP OUT if our apartment was covered with puke and clothes. Do you honestly think that he will 'control' his drunken friends... come on.. what if some guys puke all over.. what the hell is he going to do about it.. No.. he will not flip out.. he could be p*ssed at the boys.. but he won't flip out.. You need a good reality check my dear.. you are way too soft with him.. and trust me HE WILL take advantage of you. You don't seem to have many good friends... but he seems to still be living his 'bachelor' life.. parties scheduled .. without you.. and YOU.. what do YOU have?... You need to stand on your 2 feet and quick.. before he takes control of the relationship.. you need to have a serious talk ... All my friends moved away..my only friend left here is my "party friend" who is single and goes out to pick up guys..not really my scene. These parties were scheduled last year in advance, and we didn't know that we were going to be living together by now. We aren't married or engaged though, so he can have parties if thats what he wants. He really doesn't do this all that often, it's like a once in a while type deal. You are right I don't know much about this weekend..because he didn't consult me on it. He told me he was having it and what weekend, who was going to be there, and suggested I stay somewhere else. That's all I got. And yes, I know that sucks. You are also right that he won't be able to control his drunken friends but he better try because it is my apartment too.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Remember, LB. It's not YOUR apartment. It's his too. Do your friends have a "right" to visit you at the apartment? I think so, and I'd hope your BF would too. The comment about me intruding on their night out made me snap. And plus, I'm not even trying to intrude or stop them from going out, its just a factor of the situation with my staying in my apt or not.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 LB, you poor thing. I bet you had no idea your simple query would generate such a response! Will be interesting to see how it all falls out... Not 300 responses that's for sure. It was interesting to see everyone's perspective on it though.
bish Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Women have no right to be intruding on a lads night out or in for that matter. And men that party too much, don't have any consideration for a committed parnter, and have too many "lads night out" don't deserve the love and companionship of a faithful woman.
JP77 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 His friends have NO RIGHT to take over my apartment for a weekend. Honey, that's a problem between you and boyfriend, not his friends. If, I was one of the friends, I wouldn't care whether you liked or not. You could always throw me out and I'd just go out and party it up until the morning and then head to a motel somewhere.
JP77 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 And men that party too much, don't have any consideration for a committed parnter, and have too many "lads night out" don't deserve the love and companionship of a faithful woman. Who is to say what is too many though? He is a young man, I presume in his twenties, and enjoys socializing with his friends, he is not committing a crime and from what I have read, he and the OP have a healthy and loving relationship. It's just a case of her not wanting his friends around and that is fair enough, she should demand they leave, she is well within her right. It's her right. However, you are blowing this way out of proportion, then again, that's expected for Yanks.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Who is to say what is too many though? He is a young man, I presume in his twenties, and enjoys socializing with his friends, he is not committing a crime and from what I have read, he and the OP have a healthy and loving relationship. It's just a case of her not wanting his friends around and that is fair enough, she should demand they leave, she is well within her right. It's her right. However, you are blowing this way out of proportion, then again, that's expected for Yanks. I never said I didn't want his freinds around. Was I upset that he didn't consult me prior to inviting them? Yes. But I think its good for him to spend time with his friends, as he usually spends weekends with me, and not out partying. So this is like his one weekend of partying.
JP77 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I never said I didn't want his freinds around. Was I upset that he didn't consult me prior to inviting them? Yes. But I think its good for him to spend time with his friends, as he usually spends weekends with me, and not out partying. So this is like his one weekend of partying. Well get over your ego, he didn't inform you so what, turn the tables on him one weekend, I am sure he won't mind. This whole thread is a non issue, just something blown out of proportion, by a select few who have forgotten what it's like to have fun.
Star Gazer Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 The comment about me intruding on their night out made me snap. And plus, I'm not even trying to intrude or stop them from going out, its just a factor of the situation with my staying in my apt or not. You "snap" alot. That's probably one of the reasons why BF doesn't want you around this weekend. He's concerned you'll "snap" at the sight of a mess/noise/drunkenness.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 You "snap" alot. That's probably one of the reasons why BF doesn't want you around this weekend. He's concerned you'll "snap" at the sight of a mess/noise/drunkenness. Maybe. I wouldn't make a huge scene or anything, but I think he would be upset if he came home to some huge nasty mess.
Star Gazer Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Maybe. I wouldn't make a huge scene or anything, but I think he would be upset if he came home to some huge nasty mess. Right. But he's trying to prevent you from being upset by keeping you away WHILE there is a mess.
JP77 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Right. But he's trying to prevent you from being upset by keeping you away WHILE there is a mess. Game.Set.Match. Star Gazer. defeats. LaurieBelle. to. win. her. first .GrandSlam.
SugarKiss Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I never said I didn't want his freinds around. Was I upset that he didn't consult me prior to inviting them? Yes. But I think its good for him to spend time with his friends, as he usually spends weekends with me, and not out partying. So this is like his one weekend of partying. Of course that would be upsetting, I can see the problem is not that he wants to hang with friends (go mental who cares just not in my house) but that he sprung this party at his place on you last minute withour your consideration, and that you have to leave your own home for the entire weekend so that they can get trashed there. it's totally selfish of him. if you want to be walked all over by this guy then you can start right now but leaving your house and allowing this to happen. they have enough money to go to Vegas but they can't all chip in $20 each to get a hotel room together? what a bunch of losers your b/f's friends are.
SugarKiss Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Game.Set.Match. Star Gazer. defeats. LaurieBelle. to. win. her. first .GrandSlam. what are you 5?
JP77 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 what are you 5? How many 5 year olds do you know who would even know what loveshack is?
SugarKiss Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Laurie listen to the voices of reason and there are plenty of them here in this thread, forget those that just want to argue with you and call you names. your b/f is being extremely selfish and is not thinking with his brain he must be thinking with his elbows because to try to pull this stunt off without a hitch is really ambitious on his part. if you feel it is your right to stand your ground in this matter, then by all means do so. never mind those that are telling you that you are out of line, you most definitely are not out of line. your house is your house too and you can't be expected to move out for the weekend because they want to come over and trash your place, your boyfriend is being completely inconsiderate and has not yet come to terms with the fact that you he no longer lives by himself, if you were mature enough to move in together then you are mature enough to form a team and in a team there is none of this "move out me and 7 of my buds are here for the w/e and if you stay it will only cause drama" that's crazy!!!
SugarKiss Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 How many 5 year olds do you know who would even know what loveshack is? sorry I meant 4
JP77 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 sorry I meant 4 I think someone needs to take off her shoulder pads and grind to some latin salsa at my place.
maynicholas Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I really think you are over reacting to this whole thing. I don't think this is a big deal. You say you don't want to stay with your 'party' friend. Why not stay there and make an event 'in'- you know rent movies, crappy food, wine & cheese, mani/ pedi party. Or you could go old school and party like they boys. I was never asked to leave when my ex had his friends over because I could/ would party it up as well as them (sometimes better)! Nothing like holding it over a guy's head in the morning when a 'little girl' could drink him under the table! You could hang with them one night towards the end of the visit, so you won't have to spend as many nights away from home- and they will be a bit worn out from all the drinking. How many nights are you being asked to leave for? I really don't see this as a power struggle. I think you are worried about the place and what they will do to it. Maybe you could try trusting your mate to tend to the place. If it gets messed up and he doesn't take care of it, then you can get pissed. Till then though, I think you should just let him have his sausage fest and come back when it is all cleaned up. If you are really concerned about any mess, tell him the deal is that HE has to hire a maid the clean the house top to bottom after (to make up for saving money on the hotel cost ). Good luck!
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