Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 no, my point is that I don't expect my husband to do the whole wine,dine, romance, "making love" deal. I also don't bore him with idle chatter, he doesn't care who said what at work or if I think Jill is cheating on Brian, he isn't interested in hearing me yammer on on typical chic topics and I don't subject him to that,that is what my female friends are for. oh! I understand what your saying now. Sorry I misunderstood.
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 LOL Sorry, I don't know why that struck me as funny. Me either! LOL! Especially when I've seen it happened, in the flesh, with my very own eyes!
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Well then if men can't commit to their partner 100% of the time then they should be single. If a man is going to become this shallow jerk who would rather masturbate to trashy women they have sex with his SO then he should let her know from the start so she doesn't waste years of her life on someone who doesn't really love her. I agree, that if a man would rather masturbate to a porn star then have sex with his SO, He's a damn idiot! But I have to partially agree that a man should be 100% devote to having sex with her and exploring new things. When she that statement, she made it seem that if a guy watches someone else having sex to get ideas, or a documentary on how to please your mate more (which involves looking at someone demonstrating it sexually) he is not 100% devoted to his S/O... I think that's ridiculous. FYI..... If you don't believe that they have exercise video on how to please your mate that involve sexually demonstration, I will upload one to you. It's very educational for both men and women.
Jennifer26 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 FYI..... If you don't believe that they have exercise video on how to please your mate that involve sexually demonstration, I will upload one to you. It's very educational for both men and women.I'd be interested. Maybe for later when I'm not at work though.
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 I'd be interested. Maybe for later when I'm not at work though. Sure no probably... I can let you upload from any I.M like yahoo or MSN... It discusses how a man can stimulate his women's g-spot to full capacity in many different ways. All the steps that the guy needs to take before he tackles the g-spot is very salutary for women, which I think no woman would deny:laugh:
Mr. Lucky Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I agree, that if a man would rather masturbate to a porn star then have sex with his SO, He's a damn idiot! That seems to be the point where communication is lost between the parties to this discussion. Lumping the guy who occasionally looks at porn in with the one that abuses it to the detriment of his relationship only makes sense to the porn Taliban. Those are two different people and two separate discussions... Mr. Lucky
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 That seems to be the point where communication is lost between the parties to this discussion. Lumping the guy who occasionally looks at porn in with the one that abuses it to the detriment of his relationship only makes sense to the porn Taliban. Those are two different people and two separate discussions... Mr. Lucky Exactly!
White Flower Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 yes it is, but its not about porn, its about anything. if your SO has a problem with porn, then of course its hurtful to to continue with it. however that is too far of a blanket statement. change the word porn with anything else. if _______ negativly impacts the relatonship ... etc .. no one answered me about the situations where the women either doesnt mind porn or is activly interested in it. so is porn in general or is the real issue about respect in regards to anything that is offensive to the other party? If either party can appreciate it and don't seem to be addicted to it in any way then I don't see the problem. I noticed that it could be fun with H, especially as the love had diminished. Interestingly, while I was in love with my ex boyfriend, I had no desire to look at it whatsoever.
annieo Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Well that's your preconceived opinion.. I actually have substantiation to my claims. I've seen some outrageous things that you would never believe occurs by people with well respect jobs. Sometimes you have to live a little via going out an investigating. You can't predict everything in the comfort of your own home. So you ARE a personal friend of JJ, and she told you that the intros are all for real? :lmao: I'm not arguing with you about any conversations with women you know. I absolutely agree that most women like/love sex, and not always the pretty kind. I'm talking about the actress confessionals at the beginning of some films. Scripted. Maybe reflecting some personal reality, but scripted nonetheless. This really seems to be bothering you. I must have burst a little bubble.
annieo Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 And the reason I am remotely familiar with the pre-action confessional is because I've watched more that a few pornos. However, I'm starting to feel a little conflicted about it, because I do think it exploits some (not all!) women who have no other options economically, or who are so soul bruised that they think it's all they are worth, all they are about. I feel like I'm complicit in perpetuating abuse if I watch. Plus, it creates this idea of an "other class" of women. A previous poster said that it's cool to masturbate to a porn star, but you wouldn't actually want to be with one. Isn't that a little weird? Like they are good enough to spurt over,but not good enough to talk to, to meet your mom. The old madonna/whore thing is still alive and well, I see.
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 So you ARE a personal friend of JJ, and she told you that the intros are all for real? :lmao: I'm not arguing with you about any conversations with women you know. I absolutely agree that most women like/love sex, and not always the pretty kind. I'm talking about the actress confessionals at the beginning of some films. Scripted. Maybe reflecting some personal reality, but scripted nonetheless. This really seems to be bothering you. I must have burst a little bubble. Not really bothering me. How do you think so? because I disagree with you? I just want you to provide cogent evidence to what you're saying. Are you porn star? Have you ever been? Have you worked with the porn industry before? If you can give me some more insight rather then what you think you know, maybe I would consider it substantiated information. If women in real life have said it, why wouldn't porn stars in some porn, biographies, or even in their filmed job interviews say it? Are you saying some or all any porn stars who tell you their sexual fantasies and desires are liars? If I walked up to one right now and I interviewed her, I shouldn't believe what's coming out of her mouth because all porn stars are balled face liars?
blind_otter Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 And the reason I am remotely familiar with the pre-action confessional is because I've watched more that a few pornos. However, I'm starting to feel a little conflicted about it, because I do think it exploits some (not all!) women who have no other options economically, or who are so soul bruised that they think it's all they are worth, all they are about. I feel like I'm complicit in perpetuating abuse if I watch. Plus, it creates this idea of an "other class" of women. A previous poster said that it's cool to masturbate to a porn star, but you wouldn't actually want to be with one. Isn't that a little weird? Like they are good enough to spurt over,but not good enough to talk to, to meet your mom. The old madonna/whore thing is still alive and well, I see. That's why I'm all about the amateur porn. There are some sex workers, though, who are perfectly happy with their life choices. Ever read any Tracy Quan?
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 And the reason I am remotely familiar with the pre-action confessional is because I've watched more that a few pornos. However, I'm starting to feel a little conflicted about it, because I do think it exploits some (not all!) women who have no other options economically, or who are so soul bruised that they think it's all they are worth, all they are about. I feel like I'm complicit in perpetuating abuse if I watch. Plus, it creates this idea of an "other class" of women. A previous poster said that it's cool to masturbate to a porn star, but you wouldn't actually want to be with one. Isn't that a little weird? Like they are good enough to spurt over,but not good enough to talk to, to meet your mom. The old madonna/whore thing is still alive and well, I see. No, guys will actually talk to a porn star like they would a stripper in a club. It's just that most women wouldn't. We would just have to get past the dozened of guys she's had sex with and will continue to have sex with if she chooses to continue to do porn while in a relationship. It's all about what you can handle. One of my friends bestfriend's wife is a stripper and he has no problem with it. He say that it's a turn on. He says it's nothing but flesh. The mental and intimate connection with her is what he has that they don't. They even have a kid. Honestly, if you feel that way about porn being abusive, why don't you make a couple of calls to some of the porn industries to get some of those women's numbers so that you can talk them out of being porn stars. And do we forget the guys in the porn? Of course we do because most women stereotype them as loving their job and it would be impervious to change their minds! Which is a load of crap! I know I wouldn't do porn at all! I would be too embarrassed. I also would feel ashamed if my future S/O seen me doing it. I would feel like a male whore but those are my feelings. This doesn't mean I disrespect or derogate the male porn stars. I would be a hypocrite. For instance, I don't agree with the war in Iraq but I respect the troops for their patriotism. You can respect someone else likes and occupation, but not want to do it yourself. I would never personally walk up to a female porn star and blatantly disrespect her and neither would most of the guys friends I have. She's still a human being. BTW, Back in Madonna's younger days, most women and conservative men were the ones who were saying the whole "Madonna is a whore" thing.
rainfall Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Rainfall, Beyond that I'm not interested in being the thought police. I personally think monogamy is difficult and for some people downright impossible to manage over the span of decades.I just think it would be far more sporting of those men and women to come to grips with their limitations in this area and to be brutally honest about it when discussing an exclusive relationship/proposing marriage to prospective partners. I also think your POV is excessive at points and it makes me worry for you. My POV is fine. I could not respect someone who would want to masturbate to trash when I am willing to have sex with him. I would not want to waste my time with someone who no longer gets turned on by me and needs to think of porn trash in order to get turned on enough to have sex with me.
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 My POV is fine. I could not respect someone who would want to masturbate to trash when I am willing to have sex with him. I would not want to waste my time with someone who no longer gets turned on by me and needs to think of porn trash in order to get turned on enough to have sex with me. Sorry for bumming but I would agree unless the woman is not keeping herself up-to-part and things innovative. You can't blame a person for that. Not saying you're saying this or thinking it: If a woman thinks she should be able to look the way she wants once she's in courtship (let herself go) and her S/O should be always turned on by her because of "love", she is a ball of contradiction and delusional! LOVE doesn't stop us from yelling or disciplined our children, does it? FYI, I am not trying to compare courtship with child disciplined! I'm just saying that love doesn't keep from reacting, or attentive.
annieo Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I'm about to give up (congrats, hyperpen) but I just want to state, once again, that I think that the intros are for the camera. They may have a lot of truth in them, but a lot of what they say is geared for the audience. This happens in real life as well. When we are trying to seduce someone, we tend to let our earthier, sexier side out. When friends get together and talk about sex, we don't just talk about how amazing it is all the time, we also bitch about the stuff that we hate. I have NO problem with women choosing to strip or act in pornos for a living. You make great money, it totally makes economic sense. I'm not a judgmental porn hater. And I am sure that at least some of the time, the girls are having an authentically good time. Some of the guys they're with (and girls) are pretty talented! And as far as my conscience tweaking me lately about watching porn, well, it's just my opinion. I'd be a hypocrite if I looked down on anyone for watching. Just my niggling conscience caused me to do a little thinking about the whole thing, trying to figure out why I watched it, got off to it, but would be horrified if my daughter chose it as a profession. Why I wouldn't choose it. That's what I mean about an "other class" (not an under class). Now, if a woman (or man) got into porn with a clear head, no issues about self-worth, no problem. Fair deal. But if someone is there because they feel like it's their only option, low self-esteem issues, past abuse, then I'd feel like crap for participating in their ongoing debasement, for my fleeting pleasure. And the trouble is, you don't know which ones are which. So for now, I'm staying away, and letting my imagination run some creative little movies in my head, when I need the diversion. Hyperpen, I really don't think we are that far off from each other in terms of point of view (except maybe the last bit - that's my personal issue of late). Stop slamming me.
trubella Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Cool women just deal with the fact that their guy does porn all the time' is because your girlfriend is submissive and acts like she is cool with all the porn and that you are attracted to porn stars because she doesn't want to lose you and you can tell everyone that you have the cool girlfriend. But..she's submissive because she doesn't want to lose her man so she will secretly be unhappy and put up with it so you don't drop her. Kinda sad. But we all know that you are into the submissive, weak women. i guess its just not possible for some women to actually like porn and be ok with their SO watching as well. if that makes me submissive and weak so be it. not all women feel the way you do about their SO watching porn. some of could care less if they watch.
rainfall Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Sorry for bumming but I would agree unless the woman is not keeping herself up-to-part and things innovative. You can't blame a person for that. Not saying you're saying this or thinking it: If a woman thinks she should be able to look the way she wants once she's in courtship (let herself go) and her S/O should be always turned on by her because of "love", she is a ball of contradiction and delusional! LOVE doesn't stop us from yelling or disciplined our children, does it? FYI, I am not trying to compare courtship with child disciplined! I'm just saying that love doesn't keep from reacting, or attentive. See I actually agree with you on this. If a women lets herself go then I can understand why a guy would need porn. I guess I should of been more clear. I am talking about the guys who have a SO who works out and does her best to keep herself looking hot for him. As for the kids thing... I don't have kids so I can't really answer that question for you.
annieo Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 See I actually agree with you on this. If a women lets herself go then I can understand why a guy would need porn. I guess I should of been more clear. I am talking about the guys who have a SO who works out and does her best to keep herself looking hot for him. As for the kids thing... I don't have kids so I can't really answer that question for you. Porn isn't about looking at someone hotter. It's about looking at someone different, variety and fantasy. Beautiful women not only have husbands who look at porn (which in my mind is not a big deal), some have husband's who cheat, sometimes with women who aren't as attractive as their SOs. Same goes for women. You could have a gorgeous man at home, and then still look at porn, or cheat, and not always with someone as hot as your h. It's not about looks. It's about the fact that many people crave variety, and being faithful to one person doesn't always come naturally to some of us (not speaking for me right now, but it was true in the past).
rainfall Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Porn isn't about looking at someone hotter. It's about looking at someone different, variety and fantasy. Beautiful women not only have husbands who look at porn (which in my mind is not a big deal), some have husband's who cheat, sometimes with women who aren't as attractive as their SOs. Same goes for women. You could have a gorgeous man at home, and then still look at porn, or cheat, and not always with someone as hot as your h. It's not about looks. It's about the fact that many people crave variety, and being faithful to one person doesn't always come naturally to some of us (not speaking for me right now, but it was true in the past). Well then these people who will never really be happy with one person should be single.
annieo Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well then these people who will never really be happy with one person should be single. I don't agree. I have been happily in 2 ltr's and still thought about other people. Didn't mean I was going to act on it. I think many people do this. I am happy with my h, but it doesn't mean I've gone blind, imaginationless. But I want to actually BE with him (as opposed to my random, fleeting thoughts), so I know what I have to do/not do. Not difficult. And I don't think that looking at porn is cheating, UNLESS it has been discussed and agreed upon by both parties. Then it could be considered a transgression.
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 See I actually agree with you on this. If a women lets herself go then I can understand why a guy would need porn. I guess I should of been more clear. I am talking about the guys who have a SO who works out and does her best to keep herself looking hot for him. As for the kids thing... I don't have kids so I can't really answer that question for you. You didn't have to be clearer. I agreed with you! You are absolutely right!
Author Hyperpen12000 Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 I'm about to give up (congrats, hyperpen) but I just want to state, once again, that I think that the intros are for the camera. They may have a lot of truth in them, but a lot of what they say is geared for the audience. This happens in real life as well. When we are trying to seduce someone, we tend to let our earthier, sexier side out. When friends get together and talk about sex, we don't just talk about how amazing it is all the time, we also bitch about the stuff that we hate. I have NO problem with women choosing to strip or act in pornos for a living. You make great money, it totally makes economic sense. I'm not a judgmental porn hater. And I am sure that at least some of the time, the girls are having an authentically good time. Some of the guys they're with (and girls) are pretty talented! And as far as my conscience tweaking me lately about watching porn, well, it's just my opinion. I'd be a hypocrite if I looked down on anyone for watching. Just my niggling conscience caused me to do a little thinking about the whole thing, trying to figure out why I watched it, got off to it, but would be horrified if my daughter chose it as a profession. Why I wouldn't choose it. That's what I mean about an "other class" (not an under class). Now, if a woman (or man) got into porn with a clear head, no issues about self-worth, no problem. Fair deal. But if someone is there because they feel like it's their only option, low self-esteem issues, past abuse, then I'd feel like crap for participating in their ongoing debasement, for my fleeting pleasure. And the trouble is, you don't know which ones are which. So for now, I'm staying away, and letting my imagination run some creative little movies in my head, when I need the diversion. Hyperpen, I really don't think we are that far off from each other in terms of point of view (except maybe the last bit - that's my personal issue of late). Stop slamming me. I'm sorry if you thought that I was slamming you. We just had a strong difference of opinion about the confessionals! LOL! I actually agree with a lot of what you're saying. You're right, a lot of it is for show. Yet there's truth to some of it. I agree. If I knew that a particular woman was in it because of life afflictions, , I couldn't even watch the porn. I would honestly feel very sorry for her...
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