TheSilentType Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Even when they are trying not to be so evident? Say you had a crush who was taken and you like them....but you know that since they are taken nothing will happen. Do you think that people are able to tell that another person likes them in this situation? I mean say this person never said anything like, "you're beautiful" to the other person. Just kept it platonic. Do you think the other person can sense what's not stated? I mean I wonder if there's some vibe that you just give out lol
johan Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Am I good at knowing when someone is interested in me? On the assumption that no one ever is, I'm great at it. I can watch a woman and see when she's interested in another guy, and I'm pretty good at reading that. And because I don't get similar responses from women, I assume the interest is not there. I'm the kind of guy who has to do a lot of pursuing, and I honestly don't have the fortitude or opportunity to do that. So I'm not meeting women at bars or wherever because there's no chance to pursue them without getting arrested. Are people able to tell when I'm interested in them? It would be a little odd to hear someone say "I know you want me".
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I have become one of those dense men when it comes to trying to read people. I prefer to be slapped in the face with the "I am attracted to you and I would like to get to know you betters." DNR
KinAZ Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Yeah, I became suspicious of a guy I was seeing for maybe 3 months a looong time ago because of his body language with another girl. I questioned him about her. He swore up and down that he loved me and wasn't interested in her. And they weren't smiley or touchy, or anything like that at all. Shortly there after, we broke up, and he called a couple of weeks later begging me to take him back. Soon after that, I learned he slept with her soon after we broke up. There's more to the story, but you know what I mean. Sometimes people will mistake niceness for interest, however, even if a man is taken and trying not to appear to be interested... he may still be very obvious. We're not always aware of our own body language, posturing, displaying, or even frequency of looking. And honestly, I think guys, on average, are probably less aware than women are when it comes to how obvious we actually are.
snowbound123 Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I think it depends on the personalities of the two people. I'm a woman, 30, and I am usually very reserved with people. I don't talk personal with people I don't know extremely well, and I don't like people asking me personal questions. In fact, people who don't know me think I'm a prude or not fun to be around, until they get to know me. I bond deeply with people -- once there is a connection, I share very intimately. I tend to be attracted to men who are similar to me -- reserved, not particularly friendly, the type that walks to the beat of a different drum, comes across cocky/arrogant. These relationships -- whether they are friendships, coworker relationships, or dating relationships -- almost always begin with a long period where we interact but have not yet struck the right chord in each other. Once we do, there's this moment where a lightbulb goes off, and then the intimacy starts growing rapidly, with lots of sharing of secrets, etc. Usually these relationships just net out as friends or deep professional alliances, but generally speaking, I think there is always some sort of romantic feeling underlying all of it. So yeah, I can definitely sense it. When two people who normally do not pay personal attention to anyone within a certain pool (work, school, etc.), or trust anyone with personal information, suddenly have a bond like this with a person of the opposite sex, it's obvious that at least some part of this is romantic. Over time, I've seen enough of these relationships turn romantic/physical to validate my suspicions. And I think that men, in particular, really show their feelings when they are experiencing a connection of this sort with somebody of the opposite sex. They go from staring through you to suddenly looking at you with so much fondness -- that twinkly-eyed look that men only give to children and the women they adore -- I don't think men can hide it even if they tried. And men really focus in obvious ways on the women they feel connected to -- they are raised in our society to be go-getters, and you will see this behavior come out even when they are not in a position to actually court you. Of course, the thing that is NOT easy to detect is a man's intentions. I think the older you get, you realize that people like (even love) many people throughout their lives without ever acting on those feelings. Just because I detect a man's interest in me doesn't mean much if I can't tell whether he is going to do anything about it.
Trialbyfire Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 In a real life situation, yes, I can mostly tell when a man is interested, even when he's shy or trying to hide it. This is only if I'm paying attention.
DunnoWhat Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I used to be terrible at telling if a woman was attracted but now I'm after getting much better.
trubella Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 In a real life situation, yes, I can mostly tell when a man is interested, even when he's shy or trying to hide it. This is only if I'm paying attention. ditto what she said. im pretty good at reading guys when theyre interested.
Pedigree Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Am I good at telling when someone likes me? Sort of. I'd have to be attracted to them first, though because then I'm looking for signs. If not, I go into brick wall mode and be oblivious. Would someone be able to tell if I'm interested? They should.
Jilly Bean Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Yes, I'm excellent at it. Er, Johan - you still want me, right? OK, maybe I'm not so good at it after all... But I know Balthazar keeps me as a solid long-distance third-line back-up. Again, maybe not so good at it...
BlueEyedGirl Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Usually yes. The less I'm interested in a guy the more confidently I can read the signs.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Usually yes. The less I'm interested in a guy the more confidently I can read the signs. Lawdy, me too! If I'm into the guy, then it gets more difficult for me. I start thinking "Well, maybe I am reading too much into this because I like him back..." You don't care so much about making an arse of yourself when you don't care what they think. I am getting better. There's a certain...confidence that you get in your 30s about your body, your desirability, etc. It's one of the few benefits of getting older.
BlueEyedGirl Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Lawdy, me too! If I'm into the guy, then it gets more difficult for me. I start thinking "Well, maybe I am reading too much into this because I like him back..." You don't care so much about making an arse of yourself when you don't care what they think. I know! When I like a guy, I keep second guessing myself. When I don't I just think "Yep he wants me", end of story. Which in turn makes me a lot more confident around men that I don't like which just makes them want me more.
Balthazar Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Yes, I'm excellent at it. But I know Balthazar keeps me as a solid long-distance third-line back-up. Again, maybe not so good at it... Balthazar runs fingers through hair, adjusts shirt, stands up straight, spreads out shoulders, chin up, hooks finger in pocket, does all the alpha male stuff and looks slyly at Jilly then says "Your starting line-up all the way JillyB";)
DunnoWhat Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I know! When I like a guy, I keep second guessing myself. When I don't I just think "Yep he wants me", end of story. Which in turn makes me a lot more confident around men that I don't like which just makes them want me more. You're saying that you are more nervous around men you like?
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Do I know if a girl likes me without her telling me? It depends. If she strips completely naked and jumps in my lap, I might get the hint. But even then, I wouldn't lay money on it. You're saying that you are more nervous around men you like? Aren't most people? If it's someone you like, it's understandable to be nervous; there's more to lose. With someone you like, you risk losing all hope of dating/marrying/whatever-ing them. If it's someone you couldn't care less about, you probably have the same indifference to them that you do to your computer monitor.
blind_otter Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Do you think the other person can sense what's not stated? I mean I wonder if there's some vibe that you just give out lol I've never been able to tell. I'm a total dunce when it comes to awareness if anyone is interested in me. I had a male friend who had a crush on me for over 6 years and I never knew until one day he was rubbing my shoulders and slipped his hands down to cup my breasts. I was like, "HUH?! Oh. Ok...."
Lizzie60 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Yes I have a sixth sense for that... the 'looks' body language, the flirting, etc.. it's soooo easy to tell when someone is interested..
Balthazar Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 It is much easier for Women to gauge a man's interest than the opposite. Men are notoriously slow at picking up on female interest, At least in cases where it is subtly expressed, and women like being subtle. Furthermore, women tend to send mixed signals which only serve to confuse men even further. It's a miracle anybody gets together really!
JP77 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 It is much easier for Women to gauge a man's interest than the opposite. Men are notoriously slow at picking up on female interest, At least in cases where it is subtly expressed, and women like being subtle. Furthermore, women tend to send mixed signals which only serve to confuse men even further. It's a miracle anybody gets together really! Tell me about, it doesn't help when you are butterz and can't get a date and you blindly think that a girl who shows a high level of interest in you actually fancies you, but just wants to be friends with benefits.
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