endlesstrains Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Yes, I have his home number, and I have called him at all times of the night. It's the home number on his checks, in the phone book, everything. We go on vacations together we work together, I'm telling you, believe it or not, I know everything about this guy, there is just this one hangup. He has even offered to let me talk to his sister and mother, to help me understand his "Problem" and to understand why he is the way he is. The only options I see here are: 1) He is hiding other girlfriends from you. 2) He lives with his mother and is embarrassed. 3) He has some kind of serious psychological issue where he doesn't let people into his home, even his girlfriend of 3 years. 4) He is a serial killer Any way you cut it, it's a big problem... has he ever outright explained to you why he won't let you in his home, or has he just kind of beat around the bush? I think you need to have a serious sit down talk about this issue and find out exactly what he has to say about it. Seriously... 3 years???
Art_Critic Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I have yet to see a real positive reason that he would be doing this.. One that wasn't harmful to a relationship... Time to call him out..... all the way out....
Author silvergirl Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 he says because everytime he gives his "all" to someone, that's when it back fires on him. Believe me, I know the reason, whether it be psychological or him hiding something the outcome will not be good
Trialbyfire Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I have yet to see a real positive reason that he would be doing this.. One that wasn't harmful to a relationship... Time to call him out..... all the way out.... I completely agree with this. he says because everytime he gives his "all" to someone, that's when it back fires on him. Believe me, I know the reason, whether it be psychological or him hiding something the outcome will not be good Time to find out a little more about what he means by this. Has he experienced serious drama with all his past relationships? If so, he's the only constant in all his relationships.
endlesstrains Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 he says because everytime he gives his "all" to someone, that's when it back fires on him. Believe me, I know the reason, whether it be psychological or him hiding something the outcome will not be good I think if you have been going out with someone for three years, going through the normal motions and stages of a relationship, simply keeping them away from your house is not going to protect you from being hurt, and it's not going to stop any forward motion of commitment... if this is his real reasoning it's very skewed and sounds like he is trying to make himself believe it.
torranceshipman Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 'Even if he was a total slob, if he wanted to take you to his house, he could easily clean it in 3 years. ' Lol JillyBean found this hysterical too....thats a classic. What is this, evening of the doormat...cmon woman! You've been dating him 3 friggin years, and the best thing he can do is promise invite you round 'this year'?! And you meekly accept that? C'mon!! Just get in your car, go round, knock on the door and check him out. For what its worth, I think he is married. Whatever, this R sucks if he wont even let you into his Goddamn house.
Star Gazer Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Silvergirl, here's something to think about: When I was 25, I met an attorney through a case I was working on. He pursued me full-court press, but I wouldn't budge (he was working on the same case, there are ethical rules against that sort of thing). Months after the case resolved, he was still pursuing me. I gave in, as he was quite charming and attractive. He lived in OC (Irvine, for those who know). I lived in Beverly Hills. He always had a reason to be in LA - a depo, a court appearance, a meeting. It was always *much more convenient* for him to come see me than vice versa. I didn't mind, because I hated the traffic on the 405. Months go by. Eventually, he had me come visit him at "his condo." Was decorated the way he'd always said. Sports/college paraphernalia from his hay days as a star athlete on the wall. Men's clothes and toiletries where they should be. I'd call his office and his secretary knew who I was, would chat me up...even say, "Hey Jeff, your GF is on the phone." I met his friends. We went on vacation. He spent Christmas Eve with me before I left to see my family, and Valentine's Day. He was perfect. One day, while gushing to my mother about him, she said, "He sounds too good to be true, are you sure he isn't married?" "Of course not!" But it gave me a moment of pause. The next morning, as I logged on to my computer to read his standard good morning email, I wrote to him (jokingly), "So, how's the wife?" His response? "She's good. Don't you want to know how the kids are doing?" And the rest is history. Long, drawn out, traumatic history. The condo? His brother's. His friends? All cheating too. Dig deep. DEEP for the truth here.
Art_Critic Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Silvergirl, here's something to think about: When I was 25, I met an attorney through a case I was working on. He pursued me full-court press, but I wouldn't budge (he was working on the same case, there are ethical rules against that sort of thing). Months after the case resolved, he was still pursuing me. I gave in, as he was quite charming and attractive. He lived in OC (Irvine, for those who know). I lived in Beverly Hills. He always had a reason to be in LA - a depo, a court appearance, a meeting. It was always *much more convenient* for him to come see me than vice versa. I didn't mind, because I hated the traffic on the 405. Months go by. Eventually, he had me come visit him at "his condo." Was decorated the way he'd always said. Sports/college paraphernalia from his hay days as a star athlete on the wall. Men's clothes and toiletries where they should be. I'd call his office and his secretary knew who I was, would chat me up...even say, "Hey Jeff, your GF is on the phone." I met his friends. We went on vacation. He spent Christmas Eve with me before I left to see my family, and Valentine's Day. He was perfect. One day, while gushing to my mother about him, she said, "He sounds too good to be true, are you sure he isn't married?" "Of course not!" But it gave me a moment of pause. The next morning, as I logged on to my computer to read his standard good morning email, I wrote to him (jokingly), "So, how's the wife?" His response? "She's good. Don't you want to know how the kids are doing?" And the rest is history. Long, drawn out, traumatic history. The condo? His brother's. His friends? All cheating too. Dig deep. DEEP for the truth here. ....... oh my... what a post... I guess it does happen... A girl that worked here had a BF for 10 months.. he lived in the apartment next door to her.. He was working in town on a strip shopping mall being built.. I think he was the foreman or something like that.. When it was done he left town and she found out that he was married after she visited him in his home town after he moved.. the whole time he was married but lived a single life because work put him in an apartment for a year.....
Mary3 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I think he has refrigerated body parts in the freezer . Maybe intestines are hanging from the walls... Either way , whether he is a serial killer , married or a rapist , YOU should have been able to come over. Unless he has that OCD where he fears germs so badly that he wants you to talk to his mommy about it...
Star Gazer Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 ....... oh my... what a post... I guess it does happen... That's nothing, Art. I let him lead me on for the next 5 months, telling me lie after lie about how miserable he was at home, how he was filing for divorce, blah blah blah. All lies. His gorgeous, intelligent, hard-working, lovely wife eventually found out when her suspicions got the best of her and she checked his phone and phone bill, and then called me from his phone. She had to call me repeatedly for a week before I'd return her call... Oh JFC, what a nightmare that was!!!
Author silvergirl Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 Thanks to everyone for their input, alot of things helped, and some creeped me out!!! But we can now end this discussion, because we called it quits lastnight, I just couldn't go through it anymore, I am going to focus on my daughter and my career right now, I don't have time for shady relationships. I do love him, but our relationship was just not healthy! I have to say, I feel kinda relieved, almost like a weight has been lifted.
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