Pencup Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 So me and my ex where together for roughly 10 months, she was the first real person i believed i loved. but as it came to the 10 month period, i and possibly her became bored with the relationship? for a lack of a better explanation. She we mutually decided to break up. a month passed and i wanted to try and work things out and get back together. I realized that i did love her. love to me is a very hard word to use and i mean it when i say it. Well we saw each other and she turns around and says shes found someone else but shes confused and would like to get back together. anyway she choose the new guy. I know this sounds rather egotistical but he really isnt better than me.. looks wise. personality is something i dont know about him. anyway i tried to be friends because i would rather have her in my life than not at all. bu this hasnt worked and i told her i need time to move on and il get in touch when im ready. The thing is, it has been 4 days since and im struggling not to contact her. I really miss her and i just wish we were together again. we broke up in February, she moved on in april and its been 2months since they have been together... maybe hes not a rebound guy. i just wish she gave me a second chance to show her how special she is to me. i wish i expressed myself and told her how i felt about her while we were in the relationship. Im such a wreck right now. I have failed a course due to lack of motivation and if it wasn't for my best mate i wouldn't still be going to the gym and if i didnt need the money i would have quit working. I know i should cut her out of my life completely but i just cant. I want her back so bad. help plz BTW i realized this should be in the "Coping" Section. Sorry
Syn182 Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I know exactly how this feels... it's the worst thing in the world, when you know she's gone and you can't get her back... I lost a girl in the same circumstances. And afterwards, i couldn't think of anything but her, and i did nothing but sit on msn all day waiting for her to come online so i could beg for her back... I tried to respect her decision, but all i could think of was how badly i wanted her... In the end what got me off it was time. It took a few weeks, but i did it... The thing that helped more than anything was when i had a fight with her... I managed to get into a massive argument with her and she said she hated me. Only a day or two after that, i got over her! I made sure that i didn't get to see her at all, that would only make me want her back more. I think more than anything though, my attraction was physical, more than "love"... I thought it was love though... while i was with her. I now know what love is... and love can't be booted off like a ball... even if you don't want it, there's always residual love... and there's not much you can do to shake it. sorry if this isn't much help... but it's what helped me through a nearly identical situation. but know this... if you lost interest in 10 months, you weren't in love. (Most likely)
Author Pencup Posted July 6, 2008 Author Posted July 6, 2008 Maybe its not full on love, but its the closest i have ever felt to it. My problem is i take things for granted and become accustom to them. For example we had this dog for 13 years, i hated it. I really hated it but the day it died i just couldn't control myself. and its been like that for other things. So this means i cant have her in my life at all? When we spoke she said she understands my decision but wouldn't want to spend her life without me. Thats what really confuses me.
northstar1 Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Maybe its not full on love, but its the closest i have ever felt to it. My problem is i take things for granted and become accustom to them. For example we had this dog for 13 years, i hated it. I really hated it but the day it died i just couldn't control myself. and its been like that for other things. So this means i cant have her in my life at all? When we spoke she said she understands my decision but wouldn't want to spend her life without me. Thats what really confuses me. Well, right now, you need to let her be. Who knows what the future holds. You want something even more so after it's gone. We often pursue those things that move away from us. Do you really want her back for "her" or because she's moving on from you and you are no longer the center of her life? You took her for granted - it happens. Best thing is to learn from this in the next relationship.
Author Pencup Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 this is just so hard, i hate feeling this way, i hate thinking of her all the time... i just want to be happy like she most likely is... it was meant to be a mutual break up but i got the raw end of the stick.
D-Lish Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 maybe it boils down to always wanting what you can't have. I suspect that if she gave up this guy and came back to you that you wouldn't want her for long.
Author Pencup Posted July 7, 2008 Author Posted July 7, 2008 Maybe it is, maybe the same reason we broke up will arise if we got back together. Anyway im going to try NC for 3 weeks. deleted her from my phone and anyway other way i can get in contact with her. Too bad they dont make patches like the smoking ones for this stuff... Any tips to last the NC period, would be great
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