Nikki21488 Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 This 4th of July, my boyfriend and I had planned for about 2 weeks to go watch some fireworks with our child considering it was her first 4th of July. He told me a few hours before we had to leave that he wanted to go to the bar for a little while. I said ok thats fine thinking he would be back on time. He never came home and left me and the baby sitting here ready to go for about an hour waiting for him. I decided that I would go to the bar to confront him about ditching me and his daughter. I asked him why he did it. He immediatly started flipping out on me and telling me that he doesn't want to be with me and calling me names, etc. I left and came to our home with a girlfriend. He came to the house at about 1am and starting cussing me out when he walked in the door. He told me that he doesn't love me and it's over. I said ok, well take some of your things and go. He refused and just kept aggravating and instigating me. He started bragging about how he talked to women all night and started showing me numbers in his phone. I grabbed the phone out of his hand and things started to get physical. He broke just about everything in the house. He even broke my brand new digital camera. He was breaking glass all over the floor which is VERY unsafe with the baby crawling around. She was asleep while he was screaming at me and I kept saying to him to be quiet and he wouldn't. I immediatly grabbed the baby and went to a friend's house for about an hour. I came home and he was gone. He didn't take any of his things. He didn't come home at all that night. He stoppedby a few hours ago before he went to work and got an outfit. He said that he was moving out and that it was over. I asked when he wanted to see the baby again and he said he didn't know. I feel horrible about my daughter. She didn't ask to be around this. She was asleep while we were fighting. I don't want her to get bad vibes from me being so hurt. I can't sleep. I haven't been able to eat since he left. I can't help but feel that this is somehow my fault. He wont even talk to me now at all. I don't even try anymore but it still hurts me. He made me millions of promises in the beginning of our relationship. He didn't keep a single one. I just don't know what to do now. He completely left me and our daughter stranded and alone. I don't know whether to just let go or what to do..
stillstrong1 Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Avoid this man at all cost. He is abusive and violent. How long have you known him?
White Flower Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 You and your daughter deserve so much more. Be glad you're not married and have to endure a drawn out D. Find someone who deserves you. This guy is volatile and unsafe around your baby. Showing you those phone numbers was just cruel, but breaking glass in his baby's home was vicioius and violent. Get out now and don't look back. I wouldn't even allow him custody of any kind with your child.
Tripper Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 All the preceding advice is spot on. The only thing I will add is to seek legal counsel and nail him for child support.
AnLandy Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Hiring a lawyer or going to Legal Aid for advice on the child support and custody is an excellent idea. You might also want to consider contacting your state's attorney general's office. They usually have a division of child support enforcement that can assist you with the issue of financial support for your daughter. I would also advise you to change the locks ASAP. If you can't afford to do it, ask a friend or family member to help you out with paying for it. Also, don't allow this man back into your home by himself. If he wants to collect his things, then have a police officer escort him in, or let one of his friends or family members do it. I have a sinking suspicion that you may come home to find that he has packed up everything of value, including your personal possessions, and run. If you have any joint accounts with this man, then withdraw money now, before he can spend it all or withdraw it himself. Get this guy out of your life and keep him away from your daughter. You both deserve better. No one deserves to be dismissed and terrorized.
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 If there's anyway you can sue him for damages done to your things he broke and ruined, such as your digital camera, I'd try that, too.
porter218 Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 What a jack @ss. Change the lock and move on with your life. Put all of his stuff in storage, let him know where it is and be done. Don't feel sorry for your daughter, she will be happier without a father like that under the same roof. I am guessing this is not the first incident of emotional abuse? He sounds like such a scumbag.
justaman99 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 That guy is an *******! He has a baby with you, goes to a bar, flakes on a really cool event first time for the little one, throws **** around the house, breaks stuff, yells at you and calls you names? There is no question what you should do is there? Come on really......You don't even need to think about it.
Template Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I'm with everyone here. Cut your losses and RUN. This is a selfish individual that obviously doesn't care about you, and more importantly your daughter. The path that lies ahead of you without him, while unknown, is much clearer than the path that would have included him. Do what's best for you and your daughter and kick that bum to the curve. Be strong and do what's best for the well being of yourself and your daughter.
frd150 Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 What an A-hole. Im not sure if its possible since you did not call the cops that night but I would see about a restaining order. This kind of stuff just does not appear all of a sudden. Has he done anyting like this before?
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