sugarlump Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 First real date since I broke up from the ex and I think it's enough to put me off dating for life. It was a blind date arrange via a married friend., she and her husband accompanied us on a kinda double date deal. On paper the guy sounded great. Decent job, healthy sporting interests and hobbies and it help he was good looking (actually he does some modeling work on the side!) In actuality, a different kettle of fish. The whole evening was strange. I drank a little too much to steady my nerves, but not so much to be drunk. Pre-dinner drinks were fine and the meal was generally okay. Then on the walk from the restaurant to the bar he bumped into his ex. A very awkward moment as you can image. We gave him time and some distance to pass pleasantries, initially he threatened to leave with the ex but then (convinced by my friend's husband, I think) returned to carry on the evening. We the went to a bar and on to a night club. He must have said something to my friends and they 'gave us space' by disappearing somewhere. He made a move and we kissed. It was bizaare, I didn't really fancy him and after the kiss, was sure I didn't really want to see him again. There was no click. I made excuses to go to the loo and caught up with my friend and told her how I felt. Thankfully she was okay. When I returned he was pretty full on, asking for another kiss. I obliged a bit, but it just wasn't working so tried to rebuff. He asked me to come back to his, I said no. So he suggested he came back to mine. Again I said no. He got upset at this and stated we should call it a night, if I wasn't interested in anything else. I agreed, if that was his position I didn't see much point in continuing on. He stormed off. I don't care for this guy. His attitude stinks and he makes me angry. How dare he assume that I'm going to fall into bed with him hours after I meet him? I can't believe how upset I'm getting over a stupid guy and this whole stupid mess. I suppose it makes me appreciate the deal I had with my ex. I fear I'll never find that again and I'm destined to have to put up with these arses for ever more. I don't think I'm ready to date.
just-a-girl Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Oh girl!!! I went on a date like that. I had been in a relationship for 5 years so I was/am a little rusty at this dating thing. I was TOTALLY shocked when the guy tried to get me to sleep with him. Not only did he try to get me to sleep with him he got a little pushy about it. I was thinking buddy you can head downtown for what you are looking for; you don't pick a girl with a good head on her shoulders to proposition like that. I started to analyze what I was wearing thinking was I dressed trashy. Nope dress to my ankles and a black shirt. I was and am offended it was crass to say the least!!!!
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I have two actually. Both involving my love blinded intelligence and false internet relationships... Relationship 1) Talked to a young woman for months on the phone and on the computer for probably about 2 years. I wasted a holiday expecting her to come visit me. She would always have an excuse why I could not come see her. And I one day got fed up, used my brains to use the bits of information she left me to track down where she worked. Yes I did the stalker thing for one evening outside where she worked and the next morning I left her a teddy bear and a card to let her know the game was over and that we were never to have contact again. Relationship 2) Same scenario, except this time I did not put all my eggs in one basket (meaning she was the one who called me, I did not waste time believing she was the one for me or that she was going to be honest) with this woman and made we both made a commitment to see each other... I know make sure the woman asks for me to come see her. I partially believed she was truthful, so I decided to take a bus ride to see her, because she said she was going to meet me and everything. Well waited there at the bus station for almost 6 hours before I said, well another loser and went home. DNR Now you all see why I have such doubt and apprehension when it comes to love or my prospects of even achieving that which I desire.
elaina Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I have two actually. Both involving my love blinded intelligence and false internet relationships... Relationship 1) Talked to a young woman for months on the phone and on the computer for probably about 2 years. I wasted a holiday expecting her to come visit me. She would always have an excuse why I could not come see her. And I one day got fed up, used my brains to use the bits of information she left me to track down where she worked. Yes I did the stalker thing for one evening outside where she worked and the next morning I left her a teddy bear and a card to let her know the game was over and that we were never to have contact again. Relationship 2) Same scenario, except this time I did not put all my eggs in one basket (meaning she was the one who called me, I did not waste time believing she was the one for me or that she was going to be honest) with this woman and made we both made a commitment to see each other... I know make sure the woman asks for me to come see her. I partially believed she was truthful, so I decided to take a bus ride to see her, because she said she was going to meet me and everything. Well waited there at the bus station for almost 6 hours before I said, well another loser and went home. DNR Now you all see why I have such doubt and apprehension when it comes to love or my prospects of even achieving that which I desire. hello Why don't you pray and ask God to bring you someone in real life? you know... a lady in your church or someone you see in your community? that would be so much easier yeah? God does miracles don't give up yeah?
johan Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 hello Why don't you pray and ask God to bring you someone in real life? you know... a lady in your church or someone you see in your community? that would be so much easier yeah? God does miracles don't give up yeah? Yeah! God will fix it.
elaina Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Yeah! God will fix it. Anyways, online dating is not natural...
johan Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Anyways, online dating is not natural... Some people seem to thrive online. But it's not natural for me. It's also not natural for me to walk up and start talking to complete strangers either. So here I am.
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Don't diss church, it is actually a great place to meet other single people.
johan Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Don't diss church, it is actually a great place to meet other single people. This is part of the reason why Islamic radicals want us dead. You're just inviting more attacks.
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Uh...no, it's just true that there are singles at church. Safer than the online stuff.
Lookingforward Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Uh...no, it's just true that there are singles at church. Safer than the online stuff. and creeps are everywhere (even church)
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 hello Why don't you pray and ask God to bring you someone in real life? you know... a lady in your church or someone you see in your community? that would be so much easier yeah? God does miracles don't give up yeah? The churches I've been associated with of late have no middle ground. Either all are too old or too young. Or couples already married. I have stopped praying for that a long time ago. I am still working on my faith in God on that. All these women are real, it does not matter where they are from or how you meet them. I mean you are real are you not? In my community. No. And I have tried all sorts of things. My first girlfriend was from within my community. That turned out bad. All the women I have approached personally never seem interested in me. The women who do have feelings never say anythings, so how would I know (this was a case when I was younger and in my first church home). For me, love is never easy. It does not matter where or how I find it. And yes there have been a lot of times in the past I would pray and pray and pray for it. Maybe this is my thorn, the knowledge that maybe I will never be married or have children. But, hey, I have so much more stuff going for me right? I have to be joyous for that. DNR If love comes, it does. If it doesn't I'll survive.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Anyways, online dating is not natural... It is very natural. The internet is just like any other tool. If you are a great speaker and can win hearts that way. That is your tool. If you have friends who hook you up with people they know. That is your tool. If you use letters (this is how my best brother met his wife). This is your tool. So don't down internet dating and see it as unnatural. Now if you say that you don't and won't do it, that's on you... But, then again, does not God work in mysterious ways? Maybe your missing out because you don't have faith. And for those who mocked Elaina for her comment about praying to God. She is right. For those who believe, there have been many cases in the Bible where men and women met and married based on their faith or that God lead people to their spouses. But, of course you have to believe. So, if your not a believer, you really have no right comment on that which you have no faith in. DNR
elaina Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 It is very natural. The internet is just like any other tool. If you are a great speaker and can win hearts that way. That is your tool. If you have friends who hook you up with people they know. That is your tool. If you use letters (this is how my best brother met his wife). This is your tool. So don't down internet dating and see it as unnatural. Now if you say that you don't and won't do it, that's on you... But, then again, does not God work in mysterious ways? Maybe your missing out because you don't have faith. And for those who mocked Elaina for her comment about praying to God. She is right. For those who believe, there have been many cases in the Bible where men and women met and married based on their faith or that God lead people to their spouses. But, of course you have to believe. So, if your not a believer, you really have no right comment on that which you have no faith in. DNR Yeah that's true God works in mysterious ways! Oh it's ok they can make fun if they want if I were not a believer in God then I would think any comment about God was crazy too! I understand why people think belief in God is crazy so no big deal. But back on topic... my worst date was sorta like the others... seems all many guys want is sex and so I just talked to him about my religous beliefs and guess what? He never called me again and guess what? I was sooo happy cause I already knew he was not what I wanted and now there is a man in my life who is!!! Peace
imbewildered Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I don't care for this guy. His attitude stinks and he makes me angry. How dare he assume that I'm going to fall into bed with him hours after I meet him? I can't believe how upset I'm getting over a stupid guy and this whole stupid mess. . You are over acting So what if he wanted to have you for the night . Some guys are like that. Big deal. Your way too precious about all this. Just shrug it off. At least he thought you attractive enough to move on you..
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 You are over acting So what if he wanted to have you for the night . Some guys are like that. Big deal. Your way too precious about all this. Just shrug it off. At least he thought you attractive enough to move on you.. No, his attitude really does stink. First the guy almost leaves in the middle of the date to go off with his ex....then he pressures her to have sex with him, probably expecting since he didn't go off with the ex to get sex, he would get it with her. Then acts so put off cause this woman is not a cheap easy slut. Yeah, no big deal. Oh, and she's supposed to be grateful that a guy wanted to have sex with her? He "stormed off" simply because she didn't want to have sex with him 2 hours after meeting him? Umm, anger management, anyone? Yeah, this guy's a real winner and "lots of guys are just like that." Lots of guys are in prison for rape, too, because they are pushy and can't take "no" for an answer.
rawkwell Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Sometimes it takes a bad date like this to make us realize that we're not ready to be out there. And by out there, I mean trying too hard through internet dating. If you meet someone in real life, then that is meant to be, but internet dating at this point is just trying too hard to fill a hole that YOU need to fill right now.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Sometimes it takes a bad date like this to make us realize that we're not ready to be out there. And by out there, I mean trying too hard through internet dating. If you meet someone in real life, then that is meant to be, but internet dating at this point is just trying too hard to fill a hole that YOU need to fill right now. Apparently you have not walked in everyones shoes. There are thousands of not tens and hundred of thousands of relationships that started over the internet and have lead to successful relationships. Hell, there have been long distant relationships that have out lasted most close based relationships. Lets see what I have tried in my pursuit of finding the love that so many people talk so happily about... 1) I've talked to women face-to-face on my own. That HAS NEVER EVER even gotten me past anything but the friendship level. And more times than not, strange looks and cruel jests. 2) I've let friends hook me up. Those relationships lasted about two or three months. 3) Gone to clubs and cafes and other gatherings where single people can meet up at. NOPE NO LUCK! Heck out of all the times I went to a club only two women every came up to dance with me and none would except a dance from me. 4) My third actual girlfriend and I had about a three month online/phone based, long distant relationship before we met in face-to-face. And that lasted until we lost contact when I did a tour in Okinawa. And though it did not result in a face-to-face, I had a two year long distant love interest, and while it is kind of sad she chooses her career above relationships, that is the close woman who has ever come to me and she initiated the conversation. So, tell me, what would you suggest to a guy who has tried just about everything except mail ordered brides (though I am seriously thinking about it once I get myself financially stable). My best brother met his wife through her letters she wrote to him while he served in Afghanistan. And one could never say these two were not destine for each other. She is the sweetest woman I could imagine and definitely the one designed for him. He may be a tactless, mean, arrogant son of a gun, he definitely found someone who makes up for that in him. And they meet through her letters to him. We can all judge what a person should and should not do, but if it is a tool and it is used to its best advantage, who are we to discourage someone from using that tool because it did not work for us? Or because we hit a few bump in the road? DNR
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 You are over acting So what if he wanted to have you for the night . Some guys are like that. Big deal. Your way too precious about all this. Just shrug it off. At least he thought you attractive enough to move on you.. Kind of sound like you do what this guy does. That he is entitled to sex with the woman because he so, GRACIOUSLY decided to spend HIS time with her. Yeah he deserve what he got and hurray to the woman. Not many have the ovaries to stand up for herself and demand respect of her person and/or her body. But you are right on one point, people like him are not worthy even of a second thought. Or the situation to be kept as a even an experience, but more of a learning tool to look at what kind of jacka$$es women AND men need to avoid sometimes. DNR
sid3 Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Op, the guy was just a douchebag. Don't let it bother you that he didn't have any class. That is something you cannot control. As far as meeting singles in church. The craziest bitch I ever met is uber born again. She treats people like her emotional tampon. I'd rather burn in hell then spend a lifetime with such a heartless f*ing bitch. She should have died at birth. Online dating sucks. Find a pair and go talk to women. More often than not she is doing you a favor when she says no. Leaving your comfort zone is an easy way to meet new people. Sorry for ranting on your thread. Your post reminded me just how clueless some people are.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Op, the guy was just a douchebag. Don't let it bother you that he didn't have any class. That is something you cannot control. As far as meeting singles in church. The craziest bitch I ever met is uber born again. She treats people like her emotional tampon. I'd rather burn in hell then spend a lifetime with such a heartless f*ing bitch. She should have died at birth. Online dating sucks. Find a pair and go talk to women. More often than not she is doing you a favor when she says no. Leaving your comfort zone is an easy way to meet new people. Sorry for ranting on your thread. Your post reminded me just how clueless some people are. Wow. Bitter aren't we? She must of did a number on you. But, anyhow, every time I talk to a woman I am out of my comfort zone. So, it does not matter how I find them. I mean my first who my cousin introduced me too. She was upset that I did not make a move on her for the whole night. For all I knew I was there to just keep her company. She should of spoken her mind sooner. That relationship lasted like 6 weeks. Another girlfriend basically got totally blown off because I did not know she was interested or that a mutual friend was trying to hook us up. I wish people would give me a heads up so I know what to say or do. So, if I still go to the club when I am able, still talk to women on my own (WITH NO FREAK'N results) and the only time I have met someone is through friends and first establishing contact online... Hmmmm. What would a wise man do with the tools that he knows work for him? DNR And no, she is not really doing me a favor because now I have to figure out what is wrong with me and build my confidence back up.
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I have met some decent men online. However, this guy was a setup by her friends, not an online date.
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