vivrantflo Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Just walk away!! Its more painful for you to try and hold this relationship together. Walk away. If you did, it would sting at first cause you're so used to him... but after a while, you'll realize that you're feeling better, cause you'll know that you didn't deserve to be treated that way. There are much better guys out there that you can be committed to! This guy does not deserve your love and committment. Why can't you see that?? What is this guy providing for you in this relationship, besides heartbreak, stress, and tears??
luvmy2ns Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 Awww, honey! Remember how you felt empowered for awhile yesterday? You'll get that back Jenny. You can. You were born to be a strong, capable woman. Embrace your power! Of course someone would want you! JUST DON'T SETTLE! If you settle now, you'll NEVER get yourself back! Just keep talking to us, hon. We're here for you any time.
Author littletoes Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Hey guys if it wasnt for you guys I'd be a lost pup. I've been cleaning the house like a mad women to try and ease my stress away. Its 3 hours later no telephone call to see or say hey how are you. Nothing at all. I feel like a big Zero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel really low again. No calls or anything to say hey hows it going ive been running him down for the past 3 days yes he answers his phone within those days today hes just acting really odd and my tummy is hurting so much I dont want to eat, Ive been drinking water all day and my appeite is not likeing food at this momment. When he brooke up with me 6 months ago I went from 100 to 85 in a month. I'm noticing alot of changes in my body again I gained back the 100 pounds now I';m noticing my but is getting smaller again and this is sooooo ****ing stressful God hes 36 years old he can call me its not like he a child hes a grown man here.
Author littletoes Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 I tired calling him again and still no answer. 3 and a half hours later. I tried calling still no answer maybe I'm starting to piss him off I don't know. I left him an e-mail on his crack berry, NO answer. IM so upset. I think hes going to leave me I can sense it.
luvmy2ns Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I tired calling him again and still no answer. 3 and a half hours later. I tried calling still no answer maybe I'm starting to piss him off I don't know. I left him an e-mail on his crack berry, NO answer. IM so upset. I think hes going to leave me I can sense it. And if he leaves, what? You'll shrivel up and die? No - you will most definitely NOT! You'd hurt for awhile, but you'd be back on top before you knew it, and you'd wonder what you ever saw in him. What do you see in him? Make a list of the pros and cons of everything having to do with being with this man. Everything from what he brings into your life, good and bad, to the unmet expectations and the hurt feelings brought on by his putting his mother before you - always. Or at the very least, glossing over the situation when she does you like she did. You may find the cons list MUCH longer than the pros list. You have a job, right? You have your own place? You are an independent woman with a lot to give someone who deserves it. Does he?
Author littletoes Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Hey there. well I was getting so fed up I called him one last time he said hes been doing a lot of repairs to his house. This is why he cant answer the phone. I think his mom is around the house and he doesnt want to be talking on the phone to me while mama is around. It makes sense you know what funny I almost want him to leave me right now. Because u know what hes never going to find someone like me. Gold heart and a kind soul and someone who is dedicated to the person they love. I will say that when I was dating that person I was with for 1o years I put up with A LOT OF CRAP from been beaten up he pulled my hair and punched me on the side of my head so I could'nt do my hair in an updo for our best friends wedding. he slapped my ass so hard and left hand print bruises on me. He even placed a secret code on the computer and tv so I wouldnt have access to them. SO I Know Ive been through alot of crap, But in the end I found somewhat of little courage left inside me and I left him. I remember that day I didint think I had it in me. He went to work and I was gone. #2) I have a great career so I dont depend on anyone for money. I live with my parents for the time being because shes ill. I'm taking care of her. But everything that I have Ive earned it myself. NO hand me downs in this family I was born with a woooden spoon not a gold one. SO I Know I have the courage to leave him this current guy and its starting to manifest slowly and it will get there. Its wierd I get empowerd Jenny comes back them this little victim girl comes out and need vaildation. and assurance.
vivrantflo Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 It makes sense you know what funny I almost want him to leave me right now. Because u know what hes never going to find someone like me. Why do you have to wait for him to leave you?? What's with you? You leave him!! You are the one that deserves better, NOT him!! I put up with A LOT OF CRAP from been beaten up he pulled my hair and punched me on the side of my head so I could'nt do my hair in an updo for our best friends wedding. he slapped my ass so hard and left hand print bruises on me. He even placed a secret code on the computer and tv so I wouldnt have access to them. SO I Know Ive been through alot of crap, But in the end I found somewhat of little courage left inside me and I left him. I remember that day I didint think I had it in me. He went to work and I was gone. Ah, so you do have a backbone and self resepect. Why dont you use that courage here, and leave the clown you are with?? I Know I have the courage to leave him this current guy and its starting to manifest slowly and it will get there. Its wierd I get empowerd Jenny comes back them this little victim girl comes out and need vaildation. and assurance. You should leave him ASAP, you shouldnt have to endure one more day of this drama and bull$hit. Just need to break loose. Your empowered Jenny would come out, and stay out once she realizes shes in a much better situation. But as long as you stay with this guy, and allow him to surpress your happiness, this cycle will continue to roll
Shygirl15 Posted July 9, 2008 Posted July 9, 2008 I tired calling him again and still no answer. 3 and a half hours later. I tried calling still no answer maybe I'm starting to piss him off I don't know. I left him an e-mail on his crack berry, NO answer. IM so upset. I think hes going to leave me I can sense it. Hey, I know getting out of a relationship is not as easy as potrayed, but you SERIOUSLY need to gather all your strength and get out of this one. Seriously. I feel for you. You don't even have to wait for him to dump you.
Author littletoes Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Thanks for getting back to me guys yes I do have a back bone. Well ive been using my time wisely. I've written some pros & cons BOUT MY RELATIONSHIP SO HERE IT GOES. Pros Affectionate Loves kids Driven Hardworking family man COns Does'nt stand up to mom while getting into a fight with me Did'nt have my back either Has chatted to other women behind my back ( internet) Has told his X that I was his neighbour instead of his Gf tell her after that IM his Gf Doesnt return my calls promptly Has ignored my calls in the past while hes on Bizness trips for work. Didnt tell me that he has an x that stalked him This is what I can think of for the time being. Its brought alot of light to what I'm thinking of doing. I'm going to chat with him in person. I need to tell him like it is and how I see it. I cant marry someone whos not going to stick up for me. Lets say if my dad told him off of course Id jump in there and say something because I love my partner he said one little word. AND nothing else. Not dont talk to Gf that way its my house what ever says go type of thing. Nope he didint say anything. That hurts me. I tried to talk to mom and she continues not to listen to me and talks over me and begins with the same BS that hurts me.
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Hey guys I'm back and I'm feeling crappy. Gosh I know this guy so well. I noticed more things today like a little pattern he uses when theres an issue. He starts ignoring my calls, dosent follow through when he says he would call me back and if he does follow through he makes sure he calls me later on at night so I would forget what to say to him. OH and plus he dont say I love you 2 me this happend before and Its starting to make me really moody and Im getting so mad at this point hes going ot hear it from me Ive been the one doing all of the calling when he tells me what I want to hear I think he really is going to call and he rarely does. I know hes been working around the house the least he can do is freaking call. NO calls again right after he said I will call you later its a repeat of yesterday and I m so sick of this b S IM sick of it and now Im startiung to loose my patience. God my so mad hes seen how many times I called him today. He Couldnt call me back. Like screws man. I think im nuts and IM starting to see thing s for what they are worth and its not worth the heart ache any more hes already done this onece I wouldnt be surprised if some new chick is at his m=house this is y shes igoring me his mom is telling him to ignore me and hes listening 2 her
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Wow I must say I really placed this jerk in his place tonight and Im hurting and IM proud of myself. #1 I told him u didnt call me back like u said u would he gave me the excuse that hes tried from working all day in the sun. U know typical excuses. I asked him babe do u love me he said yep I do so why do u keep on ignoring my calls like u are doing ure avoiding me and itsupseting me I also feel like ure disrespecting me and it hurts. He said I'm confused my mom and my sister keep sayting things about u and they are saying things about your family and IM confused, I told him that I feel like hes placing me in the dark and its not nice. He said hes confused and that he doesnt knmow what to do. He says hes been thinking a lot and his family is driving him crazy I told him if u love me thses things that ure family say about me shouldnt matter to u its not what they thinbk its what u think in ure heart ure a big boy I said u can make ure own desciosions and when I said that it shut him up. I said if u truly love me nothing will stand in our way and he said that IM right. He told me that I deserve someone better that him. He said that he doesnt deserve me then he says he loves me. I'm sooo confused he wanted to let me go because he couldnt handle the conversation and told that he doesnt know how to make a mature relationship work, I said when I took u back I told u that we have to work together and together we can make things work. Beacuse we are a team. He told me that it seems like I have my ducks straight and he doesnt he said that he doesnt want to waste anymore of my time and that hes confused hes not sure if love is strong enough and he doesnt know that IM 100% for him Hes said that in the past when we 1st broke then after a month he begged me to come back and I did. He said Jenny u dont know my mom I dont think I will ever get married, I wanted to say of course u wont get married u have mama there. and she will make sure none of his relationships last because mama will always be there and he kissed her A$$ I told him to stop trying to run away from his problems and to tackle his issues before they manifest he told me that I was right anhow he wanted to let me go he wanted to go and smoke cause hes stressed he said I will call you tomorrow I got mad and said are u sure ure going ot call me or ure just saying that to tell me what I want to hear he said I will call u. I also asked him when I will see him and he told me I don't know. I'm confused.
whichwayisup Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 This has nothing to do with love - It is OBVIOUS that you two and your lives do not mesh well together. I'm sure I've said this on your other threads - You two are NOT a good match and are unheathly for one another. It isn't an easy going loving relationship, it's full of drama, pain, heartache and tears. You two fight over anything and everything and to top it off, his mom is bipolar. Think long and hard about your future. Do you want this life, this rollercoaster forever? If so, then get used to the high's and low's, the ups and downs..The tears, the pain and the frustration.. If you want MORE and a simplier life, a happier life, then think about ending with him.
trubella Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 seems like hes looking for an out from reading his responses in your last post. all thats left is for him to spell it out for you since your not getting the *hint* but you keep holding onto him anyway. seriously why keep calling? why continue to try when he isnt trying.
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Hey there thanks for the responmses. First of all the relationship was amazing for along time. Then these stupid little things appeared I will tell u if it wanst for mama ranting the relationship would have been fine. I personally think that she broke us in the 1st break and now shes doing it again. His sister was in a simliar siutation with her Husband. She had a son from a previous realtionship and that ( Husabds parenbts) Didnt like my Bf sister because she had a child from someone else and his parents broke thier relationship 3 times. 8 years later full of heart ache tears and pain the married and its all fine and dandy now. MY situation is different. His mom and sister loved me to bits they loved me for 2 years. Now they hate me and they are talking to my man and hes listing to them like the wimp that he is. I told him that he can make his own decisions him self. Hes a big man 36 years old and hes not. I'm going 2 stop trying. He said he would call me when he wakes up lets see if he calls I WILL NOT CALL HIM AT ALL AND THIS TIME I MEAN IT. HES DONE THIS CRAP B 4 7 months ago AND THEN HE CALLED ME BACK APOLOGIZEING THAT ME MADE A MISTAKE. IM FED UP AND I CANT TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NOT CALL I SWEAR ON ME>
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 P.S sorry for the spelling mistakes.
Shygirl15 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 It's really weird for a 36yo man to act like that, I mean if you didn't mentioned his age, my assumption would have been something like 22yo. It's even more suprising that he lets him mom and sis run his life to the extent of ruining his relationship. Don't they have better things to do?? All in all, I think your guy wants out.
luvmy2ns Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Actually, I'm not so sure he wants out, but he certainly isn't man enough to handle a relationship, and I think he knows that. It's easier to get out then to man up. That's what I think is going on here. Jenny, I'm glad you feel better today. At least you know how to "woman up!"
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Hey guy's I know I still cant beleive it myself a 36 year old is letting mom and sister run his life and he doesnt have a say in anything. I still have yet to hear from him it's noon now and still no calls. HE Said he would call and he never did. I got fed up inside I let my blood boil I'm really starting to get angry. I called him and u know I do this all the time I say I wont I get mad I do and he dont answer. SO I called his landline. The devil answerd the phone I played nice. ( didnt argue or swear I called for him she told me hes sleeping. I said ok Thank u. Thats it i just am starting 2 get mad, if he wants out then he should tell me like he did b 4
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Still no phone calls at all. I'm getting frustrated here. I hate fights I hate these little kiddy games thats hes playing. He said I will call you tomoroww I said when he said in the morning when I wake up. When he said he would call me I had to confirm with him that he will and not BS me and try to tell me what I want to hear he said IM not telling you what U want to hear Ill call u in the morning I Said ok that he said bye and hung up the phone like a child. SO now again disrespected and feel bad called him again and no answer just like yesterday only diffrence yesterday I didnt put in into place.. I Left him a message. I also left mom a message here. Gosh how do I stop calling him tie my hands behind my back. My dad said something to me today he said are u fighting with ure bf I didint want to say anything. Because I'm pissed. IM angry very angry and it takes a lot for me to get pissed. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR, GOD I HOPE THIS WEEK FLYS this is the worst week ever I wanted to relax and all I got as sheer anxiety. Hes listening 2 his mom I can't beleive it
luvmy2ns Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Take a deep breath and hoooooold it... now let it out. You need to do anything you can to stay busy and not think about this guy. Go on with your life as if he never existed. I know - easy to say. But see how this stewing is "making your blood boil?" Go do something nice for yourself. You're already taking care of a sick mom. Take care of you, too! Put on some good dance music and dance 'til you drop! Exercise is GREAT when you're mood sucks. Go shop for something goregous to wear for ANYONE but him. Get a pedicure. Anything but stew.
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Hey I Must say I ve palyed my music Ive been cleaning IM blackberrying this whole conversation so my fingers are getting quite the work out. Everything is clean to the Ts. I cant wait to get back to work! even though i'm getting paid for my time off. well I might as well be on here as well to get all of the support I can right. U guys are so cool and amazing and this I love u guys and gals for this a l ot
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Just for the record still havent heard from him.
luvmy2ns Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 See, Jenny, you are getting yourself back! It'll be a "two steps forward, one step back" thing for awhile, but each time you will move further forward, and it'll become easier too. I have to let you have a chuckle at my expense. When I first read the word "blackberry" I thought you were getting ready to make a pie. I'm such a tool sometimes.
Author littletoes Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Thats too cute. Thanks that made me giggle. Well still no phone calls. Not even a bloody hello. NOTHING AT ALL. Yes it is 2 steps forward and 2 steps back. Back to calling looking for answers from Mr IM confused, Now hes not answering the phone at all he couldnt be sleeping all day or maybe he couldnt sleep last night after our conversation. AND he slepted later I dont know. U know whats crazy. I leave him a message right and I auotmaticly try to remember and say what message did I leave him. Is he mad at the messages that Ive left its like IM blaming myself for his behaiour and I dont know why IM doing this at all I feel lost and confused and hes not doing me any good by ignoring me. Hes done this in the past and I cant believe that IM letting him do this again 2 me.
luvmy2ns Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Yes it is 2 steps forward and 2 steps back. One step. Just one. At least you're laughing, right? Now stop worrying about him. He's also a tool! I mean, what kind of a real man would be letting his sister and mother run his life at his age? I wouldn't want a wishy washy guy like that. I like my men with some strength of character! And, Jenny, I bet you do too.
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