Boyfriends mother attacked me

[littletoes]

hello there. I need someones mature advice. Well my bf went on vacation and during his depature it was his moms birthday and I called her and wished her a happy b-day. Well so my Bf is on vacation and his birthday was on a day of his vacationing days. So I called him to wish him a hapopy b day as well so when he got back from vacation I bought him a birthday card and a present. HIs family was there and heliked the gift he went up stairs to go to the bathroom and his mom freaked out on me out of no where shes says my name and she goes u forgot me u couldnt get me a birthday card??????? I felt extremely guilty that I completly forgot to get her a card. I thought the phone call was far more important than a card boywas I wrong I got verablly atttacked and I felt extremly powerless I got up and hugged her and said that I was sorry and she giggled. So I thought she forgave she. I guess I was wrong. Being the person with a big heart I felt extremly crappy so I went out and bought her a birthday card. I told her that I bought it for her and she blasted me dolwn she said because she made an inncident I ran and got her a card she told me I forgot about her and that I shoulld give it to her next year. Because I forgot about her.

 

Next morning I wake up I go down stairs to say hello to her and she said Hi and I told her that I was going ot go and do my makeup and then leave right so. Right after she storms up the starirs in front of bf and says I want to talk to u. SHe frekaed out on me. Totally I didint see it coming she said that she felt humilliated that I went out and bought her a card right after she brought it uo she feel like I dont care. also she saod some real hurtfull things in front of me and since I care about her and her son I let her speak because I dont like to fiht or cause any seens she made me feel so low and She also said that quote on quote I dont want u to think IM a bitch but what I did was makes her son look bad. SHe said that I dont know alot of things and either do my parents she said that all my parents do is sleep

 

Keep in mind my moms ill. SHe said u went out and bought my son a gift and couldnt get me a card. Why not. Hey look Im sorry I tld her that IM humna I make mistakes and I forgot and I told her I called u atleast. SHe said thanks u so rudely. SHe goes when it was her daughters birthday when I went out with u to buy her a card I had to remind u t buy her one. Its not like I don't like them but in my upbringing we dont buy b day cards because its a waste u throw them out any way I did'nt say that she goes u dont konw alot of things and she thinks that Im not for her son after for the past few years we had an amazing reltationship and this stupid incident triigerd her 2 blow up on me. I Guess the truth and her true colors came out. Keep in minmd shes like u know how may girls mothers come up to me and want to be with my son like shes trying to scare me or something. Ant how I was crying all day infront of her and he conforted me he kepted on holding me. He told me that he loves me and I have a really god heart and said that shes upset because of things that I continue to got and I still dont get it after 2 years. Petty little things like i rinsed out a dish and there were some crumbs left over in the sink and I didnt clean that up so she called me down stiars pointed it out to me and said if u do this at ure house then do it but when ure here I like it clean. I said uh huh. I left. I told everything to my bf and he got upset he didint know what to say t o me i was to busy crying because IM a good person I didnt mean any disrespect towards her when i bought her the card so she took it the wrong way. MY bf told me to take more innativtive and do things and stand up to her.HE said she just wants to see change and she hasnt seen much and shes blown up.ANY how IM going to let this go and prove to myself I can do this. Has nayone ever been through this and if so how do I handle this in a mature way.

[zicke]

I am not seeing why you even want to be involved with this guy after your numerous threads. I would not tolerate her crap...she seems bipolar.

 

What keeps you hanging on? List 10 good things about this relationship other than sex.

[lemony fresh]

I don't know your relationship history but his mom is way out of line. I can't believe she would degrade your parents and upbringing like that in front of you, and then your boyfriend is kinda defending this crazy woman. This woman knows she can make you feel bad about yourself.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

While I like the previous poster don't know much about your relationship with your boyfriend. It is obvious something is wrong with your bf's mom. That's if she did all the things you wrote about without provocation.

 

Hold up! Aren't you the one who brought in your bf's mom to live with you? If so, I told you a LONG time ago, you need to kick her butt out. It is not doing you or your boyfriend any good having her there. You have NO right to be treated badly in your own home and if your boyfriend doesn't understand that... Then I'd suggest you get a place of your own. Have him come over and visit you. Or send her with relatives. But she has to go. And if he isn't take you into account on this, then maybe he can't handle a relationship with you.

 

Now, if your not the same woman... Then, take my above advice. But, in the end, the woman is going to be who she wants to be. Your kiss her butt and putting up with her crap is not doing to change that. If anything, you are enabling her to do these things to you. You owe her no cards. You owe her daughter no card. Hell, you don't owe them anything actually. The only person you owe anything to is your boyfriend and everyone else should be happy the even get a "Happy birthday." from you.

 

 

DNR

[littletoes]

Hey guys DnR IM not the same women. Yes I couldnt belive she said this crap infront of me and her son. Shes not the person I Knew. We had a great relationship go out to the mall and have fun. etc. Then yesterday she turned on me. After her telling her son numerous times that I'm the one for her son she told him that ure not for my son after all of these little petty little incidents that are fixable. Can u beleive that this women thought i bought her this card out of spite to throw it in her face that I bought her that card after she said something to me. wow I was in shock how she tried to put me and my family down. Last night my bf told me that he will smooth things between us. He also told me not to worry about this too much. Personally I did't think she would freak out this way on me considering the fact that she liked me and we got along amazingly. Life is weird.

 

My heart honestly feels like there is a hole in it. MY stomach feels like crap.

[Shygirl15]

Littletoes, you've received tons of matured advice in your past threads, and you're still stuck in the same situation.

[littletoes]

To: Shy girl 15. Your comments were greatly appreicated.

[littletoes]

Dear love shack gang. I Must be honest Ive never expirenced these kind of thungs that im going through in a relationship before. This is why I'm asking anyone out there if they have exp the same thing in there dating and and if they could throw some tips my way or thier opion that would be great. I really apprechaite all of the advice on this thread Im still workingon this relationship. and the relationship with my self.

[porter218]

My only honest advice for this is steer clear of this woman as much as possible, she is acting immaturely. Just because she is your bfs mom doesn't make her rant valid. Older women can be dead wrong too. This whole family sounds screwy, this kind of immature parent probably has something to do with why your bf is such a cheater.

 

Are you living with his mom? or were you just spending the night? I am also wondering how old you and your bf is?

[littletoes]

Hey there thanks for getting back to me. Iim in my early 30's and hes 36. I agree she is acting like a child. My bf told me that he will be setting her straight because before all this crap we had an amazing relationship and this child like behaviour is unacceptable. Yes she is dead wrong and my boyfriend knows it hes just scared of her i think.

She made a big deal out of something small. She said I should have been 1st and not my son. U got him a gift and a card and not me. Quote on quote she couldnt sleep because of what Ive done. Its not like I stole from her or swore at her. I was being honest. There is no crime for being honest and she thought I disrespected her. Shes a good mom and every time Im there she cooks for us and all that stuff. She told me u think I cook for u I dont cook for u I cook because ure my sons girlfriend. Shes acting like I dont apprechiate her and I do. Shes had issues in the past where her nephew was with her for 1 year and he didnt say one thank u whe he was living with her a long time ago everytime she cooks I always say thank u. She acted so immaturely. She goes dont u want my dauhgter to be ure sister in law so why did'nt u want to buy her a card on ure own. It seems like u dont want to buy us a card. She goes I bought u a gift and a card for ure b-day and my daughter bought u a cake and a card. ANd u couldnt get me a card. She made me feel like I'm a worthless piece of crap infront of my man and I feel really little right now. I think she should call me up and apologize to me for saying thse hurtfull things my bf knows that I didnt do it its obvious that i am extrmely hurt by this. I havent told anyone but u guys on here I really apprechiate the support here.

[porter218]

Write this nut job a letter. Tell her how you feel about this as tactfully as you can. It isn't like you are married to her son yet so those type of things she is expecting are a little premature. Most people do not give b-day cards to their bfs mothers, it wouldn't even have crossed my mind to do that until she was my mother-in-law.

[littletoes]

Nut job isnt the word. LOLOLOLOLO. I Know its premature. I'm not even married to her son and shes acting like this. To be honest my Bf will be talking to her I think hes the one who should smooth things over because right now I feel like crap. I just couldnt beleive she said those things. I will say I was in a really long long relation prior to this one 10 years relationship and that guys mother loved a phone call better than a piece of crap paper that u throw out. Not to mention when I did do things she would correct me and she would help me do things together. Well hes suppose to talk to her soon and I will find out whats up onece he talks to her then i will chat to her much later because regardless of ho and how my parents are i cant change them period. I can only change my self. This already has been addressed and it wasnt nice for her to take the rant that long and tell me off. Because all I have been was good to everyone I have a heart of gold and I'm not here to hurt anyone all I made was an honest mistake and no one seems to care. Any how Ive been trying to cheer my self up with alot of things that make me happy and its working. Thanks so much I really aprechaite ure advice. U are so nice thanks

[littletoes]

MY Bf told me that shes been avoiding the situation and that she stil hasnt had a heart to heart with him and that he has to be the one to confront to her. So I guess no news is good news right>>>>>>>> Well Ive tried calling him today and he has yet to call me back so I really dont know whats up as yet though I really would like to know and I dont want to call his house looking for him because I dont want her too attack me again. SO I guess Im just going to wait around for his call like a stupid loser that I am.

[littletoes]

I would really like some more opions from people

[endlesstrains]

I would really like some more opions from people

 

I think people are just dumbfounded... this situation is insane. She actually got mad about the fact that you got your BF a card and gift and not her? You say that she is mad that her son is more important to you? Well OF COURSE he is! He is your boyfriend! You are in a relationship with HIM, not HER! And you two are not married or even living together. Her expectations are completely unreasonable and it sounds like she has serious issues with attention and jealousy. Of course you want everything to be amicable between the families but this is just nuts... I would just stay out of her way when possible... she is jealous and angry that you are "taking her son away", but he is 36! Not exactly robbing the cradle here!

[littletoes]

Hey there. Thanks for the opinion. It's unfortuante that IM dealing with another relationship issue. I know IM not even living with this women and this is how I get treated. It's very cold and mean from someone that onece said that they love me like there daughter and u know what I truly believed it. Now this has to happen. I spoke with my other half and he said that I should not worry to much about this. I don't like to be in the middle of anything and I hate confrontations and petty little games and things like this. I Normally walk away because I cant stand drama but I didint this time I just stood there in shock. I could believe what my ears were hearing. It did'nt hit me until later and my tummy has been feeling sick all night I still kind of feel like this has tramaticlly affected me. This sincerly hurt me a lot. I think shes jealous because now I receive all of the affection and love from her son. Not to mention I cleaned the bathroom the other 2 weeks ago in the sons room and when I was there a few days ago a day before the incident she says to her son oh I cleaned ure bathroom and its spotless. He said yeah so did mY gf she says yeah she cleaned it but the grime came back well of course it came back 2 weeks later......... I said oh my god. I never say anything becaue I have respect. SHe always cant say that Im doing a good job its like shes competing with me. That hurts me a lot

[littletoes]

Hey guys I'm not feeling really well right now. I Just got off the phone with my bf and his mom finally confronted her son about this situation he feels like hes in the middle and he

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]doesnt[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]understand[/FONT][/COLOR]

how a relationship so mother and daughter like would turn out like a battle zone. He told me that his mother thinks that

[COLOR=red][FONT=serif]im[/FONT][/COLOR]

not the one for her son and that she thinks that I'm slow and that I'm not capable of taking care of others. She also told him that she thinks were not a good match prior to this she was talking very highly of me by saying that I am the

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]one[/FONT][/COLOR]

for

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]her[/FONT][/COLOR]

son etc. I told him that yes I make some little petty mistakes and she makes a mountain out of a

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]molehill[/FONT][/COLOR]

shes always in control of everything when it comes to her kitchen she

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]doesn't[/FONT][/COLOR]

let me do anything in there. I told my Bf that I feel so confused from someone that says that they love me as a daughter to turn around and tell me that

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]I'm[/FONT][/COLOR]

not for there son. Well I told my how I felt and I told him that I felt like talking to her by phone. He called me a chicken **** and grow a back bone. So I decided to make another stupid mistake for following my heart to call her. SO Stupid Jenny calls the butterfly with silver teeth.

 

I called her I told her that I was going

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]2[/FONT][/COLOR]

keep this conversation short because IM tired and that IM not going

[COLOR=red][FONT=serif]ot[/FONT][/COLOR]

keep her on the phone that long I told her somethings that I screwed up on like I was so upset from listening from what my man told me. 1 I told her that I am so confused from someone that told me they loved me like a daughter to someone who told me about all of that stuff the other day. I also said that I felt like she always takes the lead in the kitchen and never lets me do anything then she made a hurtful comment by telling me that IM slow and it seems like IM sleep walking.

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]She[/FONT][/COLOR]

said

[COLOR=red][FONT=serif]ure[/FONT][/COLOR]

30 something years old and there are somethings that u

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]don't[/FONT][/COLOR]

know that other girls do know she begun to compare me to her daughter and her

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]nieces[/FONT][/COLOR]

I said well of course I can

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]learn[/FONT][/COLOR]

she said she

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]shouldn't[/FONT][/COLOR]

have to tell me about these thins and that I should already know because of my age. She feels she

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]doesn't[/FONT][/COLOR]

have to show me she said for 2 years I correct u and u

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]still[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]don't[/FONT][/COLOR]

get it. She started on me like she did with the first attack she was going on and on about the card and how I should know about these things u

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]dint[/FONT][/COLOR]

know because of

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]ure[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]parents[/FONT][/COLOR]

she said even though these are little things these things mean

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]a lot[/FONT][/COLOR]

to her. I asked for a second

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]chance[/FONT][/COLOR]

ans she said nope. J u and my son are 2

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]different[/FONT][/COLOR]

people.

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]She[/FONT][/COLOR]

started again with the u know how many women want my son blah blah blah. She said I

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]don't[/FONT][/COLOR]

if u and my son are going 2 get married but

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]that's[/FONT][/COLOR]

up to u 2 not me. She made so small again and I hid in my shell. I

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]couldn't[/FONT][/COLOR]

think straight. So instead of calling my mans cell I called her again and I said the f word not

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]realizing[/FONT][/COLOR]

I called the wrong number and I

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]dropped[/FONT][/COLOR]

the phone. I Must of called my mans cell so many times. NO answer he told me b4 he let me go that he was going 2 sleep and that I

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]shouldn't[/FONT][/COLOR]

worry and stress so much. He said u guys got into a fight. U

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]didn't[/FONT][/COLOR]

get into a fight with me

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]OK[/FONT][/COLOR]

.

[littletoes]

Hey guys I'm not feeling really well right now. I Just got off the phone with my bf and his mom finally confronted her son about this situation he feels like hes in the middle and he doesnt understand how a relationship so mother and daughter like would turn out like a battle zone. He told me that his mother thinks that im not the one for her son and that she thinks that I'm slow and that I'm not capable of taking care of others. She also told him that she thinks were not a good match prior to this she was talking very highly of me by saying that I am the one for her son etc. I told him that yes I make some little petty mistakes and she makes a mountain out of a molehill shes always in control of everything when it comes to her kitchen she doesn't let me do anything in there. I told my Bf that I feel so confused from someone that says that they love me as a daughter to turn around and tell me that I'm not for there son. Well I told my how I felt and I told him that I felt like talking to her by phone. He called me a chicken **** and grow a back bone. So I decided to make another stupid mistake for following my heart to call her. SO Stupid Jenny calls the butterfly with silver teeth.

 

I called her I told her that I was going 2 keep this conversation short because IM tired and that IM not going 2 keep her on the phone that long I told her somethings that I screwed up on like I was so upset from listening from what my man told me. 1 I told her that I am so confused from someone that told me they loved me like a daughter to someone who told me about all of that stuff the other day. I also said that I felt like she always takes the lead in the kitchen and never lets me do anything then she made a hurtful comment by telling me that IM slow and it seems like IM sleep walking. She said ure 30 something years old and there are somethings that u don't know that other girls do know she begun to compare me to her daughter and her nieces I said well of course I can learn she said she shouldn't have to tell me about these thins and that I should already know because of my age. She feels she doesn't have to show me she said for 2 years I correct u and u still don't get it. She started on me like she did with the first attack she was going on and on about the card and how I should know about these things u dint know because of ure parents she said even though these are little things these things mean a lot to her. I asked for a second chance ans she said nope. J u and my son are 2 different people. She started again with the u know how many women want my son blah blah blah. She said I don't if u and my son are going 2 get married but that's up to u 2 not me. She made so small again and I hid in my shell. I couldn't think straight. So instead of calling my mans cell I called her again and I said the f word not realizing I called the wrong number and I dropped the phone. I Must of called my mans cell so many times. NO answer he told me b4 he let me go that he was going 2 sleep and that I shouldn't worry and stress so much. He said u guys got into a fight. U didn't get into a fight with me OK.

[porter218]

I would tell her she can keep her cheating son, he isn't a good catch anyway. And for "all" those women who want him they can have him, and his crazy mother as well. Who the hall wants to become part of that family anyway. Is your bf still living with his mom at 36? I mean why is she so involved with you guys, just seems strange and toxic to me.

[littletoes]

It's actually his house and not hers. She lives there. Funny how I just finished talking to my Bf and he told me that he spoke with his mom this morning who menioned that I called and she said quote on quote she couldnt undersatnd what I was talking to her about. could u beleive that. OH my god. I told my bf this is horrible. He feels like hes monkey in the middle.

[littletoes]

I think shes lonely this is why she so involved mind u hes the baby of the family and not to mention his dad passed on 5 years ago so I gather this is why she needs so much attention. I don't know I'm really stunned how someone can act so child like

[luvmy2ns]

Isn't this the same guy who sneaks around on the internet and stuff behind your back?

[littletoes]

Lets not get off topic here. I would really apprechaite ure mature opinion. Thanks

[porter218]

It's actually his house and not hers. She lives there. Funny how I just finished talking to my Bf and he told me that he spoke with his mom this morning who menioned that I called and she said quote on quote she couldnt undersatnd what I was talking to her about. could u beleive that. OH my god. I told my bf this is horrible. He feels like hes monkey in the middle.

He is ending up the monkey in the middle, his only mistake was letting her live with him. If this is his house just act like she doesn't exist anymore. Don't speak to her anymore it isn't worth wasting your time. If she tries to say hello when she sees you just keep on walking. It really sounds to me like she has adopted the "head of the household" role when she isn't or shouldn't. You don't have to win his mom over to win him.

 

On another note, why are you still putting up with a cheater like him? And to top it off it sounds like those comments his mom is making about other women is backhandedly rubbing it in your face that she knows something that you don't.

[porter218]

Isn't this the same guy who sneaks around on the internet and stuff behind your back?

I see nothing immature about what she is saying, littletoes. Don't lash out at her because you want to ignore the obvious.