carhill Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 OP, I used to be a real black and white kinda guy. Experiences change a person. In the situation described in your first posting, I'd have no guilt/inhibition about having a sexual and/or emotional relationship with the lady in question, if her feelings were likewise. Life's too short to complicate it with a million tiny rules regarding friendship and romance. You were/are both single and respected (I presume) your commitments while married. I don't go in for the "who was there before me" kinda stuff. Waiting to have sex until my mid-30's, my main focus is that I'm "there" right now and it's a whole helluva lotta fun Life is too short to worry about all that kind of baggage. Live for today and tomorrow, not what's history. Even if I came to know a woman because she was a friend of my wife's, I'd have no problem pursuing her at some future date if she and I were both available. I'd say the same thing for one of my friends and my wife if we were no longer together. Happiness is something I always wish upon those I love. Anything else is just selfishness and ego on my part. While I might not be as casual about sexual relations as you are (the "shizzle" part), I respect that it is your way and you and she hopefully met each others needs and desires. Good on ya
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Carhill, the problem I have with this (if it is true) is that truth's ex-wife cheated on him and caused him a lot of pain. So then her friend goes and does the same thing to her husband. Then trust feels like it is perfectly OK to sleep with this other guy's cheating wife. It seems kind of odd that he doesn't see the irony in this. And I am leaving out the aspect that he helped out the guy for a year by inviting him out with the guys and such. So then he goes ahead and sleeps with the woman that caused his friend pain and treated his friend the same way his ex treated him. My wife is a piece of trash, but this woman is the same way. OK, I'll f**k her. This is how I'm seeing it, anyway. In my opinion, he has no reason to have negative feelings about his exwife cheating on him if he is willing to f**k her friend, who is exactly like his ex.
carhill Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I don't play the games enumerated in post #4, so I can't comment on that part of the OP's posting. I'm going strictly by the original post. This relates to my not dwelling on those little rules regarding relationships and friendships. I tend to stick to the big rule, primarily the one about controlling my own actions and trusting others to control theirs (and not feeling it's my job to ensure they do or inflict unilateral consequences). Even with all the backstory, no matter what the motivations, I see two consenting, uncommitted (to others) adults doing what they want with each other. Perhaps less dramatic (and more boring), but that's my way
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Oh hey, I don't give two shakes about who he chooses to have sex with and don't question the morality of it. That's right, two consenting adults. I'm just saying that if he's going to bone this lying, cheating piece of trash who is just like his ex-wife, don't go worrying later about if it will "get out" to his "friend" or how it will affect his reputation should it get out. He could've said "no" if his reputation in town and his "friend's" feelings meant anything to him in the first place. Even with all the backstory, no matter what the motivations, I see two consenting, uncommitted (to others) adults doing what they want with each other. Perhaps less dramatic (and more boring), but that's my way
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