FauxVowel Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I see a lot of people having to start over at Day 1 around here. How many times have you had to "reset the clock"? I'm on my 2nd time with this chick (over 1 month now). Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I see a lot of people having to start over at Day 1 around here. How many times have you had to "reset the clock"? I'm on my 2nd time with this chick (over 1 month now). A lot more than you! I have probably broken it 7-10 times this year alone since I have tried to rid myself of her. NC is hard as hell when you truly love that person. Link to post Share on other sites
inulg Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 yeah about a billion times.... lol actually its only been a month but i've managed to break it once a week... with no response... Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 In the nearly 4 months I have broken NC 3 times. Each time it set me back and caused me great pain. It has been over 3 weeks this time and I will never break it. NC is the only way for me. Link to post Share on other sites
orangehose Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Never broken it. Not once. It's been a couple months. And he hasn't contacted me either since the moment of breakup. As a result, I've had perhaps more episodes of denial and feeling a lack of closure than others who had the message beaten down into them a few times, but at this point, it's been too long and I guess that in itself is a form of closure. Not saying this to brag, I'm just way too afraid of being hurt, and that's why I don't contact him. I see here that even contact with 'nice' exes who say nice things when you contact them tends to set people back, and well, my ex isn't so nice. He'd either not respond or say something very cold and distant (like: 'please don't contact me'), and I can't bear to deal with either. Does this make me a coward? Probably. I remember when I first came back to LS post-breakup, someone said, 'contacting your ex is like asking, "can you please dump on me AGAIN?"' and I don't want to get dumped on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FauxVowel Posted July 5, 2008 Author Share Posted July 5, 2008 NC is hard as hell when you truly love that person. Yeah, so if you really love them, you need to disappear, so they will miss you. Hanging around gives them the chance to gradually let go. If they don't miss you/love you, well then, that's not gonna work. That's all I have to say about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FauxVowel Posted July 5, 2008 Author Share Posted July 5, 2008 I will never break it. We should have consequences or something around here if we break NC heh Or maybe a pool or something, with fake money heh Link to post Share on other sites
iwish Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I've broken NC millions of times over the last 5 months. Got her back at as well, only to be dumped again. The longest period i managed was two weeks. Contacted her and she expected it. It's not healthy and not good. I'm one of the ones on day one again and let me tell you it's hard again too. I hate this ****! Link to post Share on other sites
purplepoodle Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I have had to reset my clock so many times. I don't know if I'll ever be strong enough to hold out completely Link to post Share on other sites
iwish Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I have had to reset my clock so many times. I don't know if I'll ever be strong enough to hold out completely When was the last time you spoke/saw or texted? It's hard isn't it! Link to post Share on other sites
sailing Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Once, but it wasn't intentional - I ran into him (I kept walking too, that must have looked a bit odd..) For those who break NC on purpose, the ensuing pain is probably enough punishment - or the embarrassment when everyone else says "told you so" Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Yeah, so if you really love them, you need to disappear, so they will miss you. Hanging around gives them the chance to gradually let go. If they don't miss you/love you, well then, that's not gonna work. That's all I have to say about that. YOU ****ING A RIGHT!!! Of course I never do crap the easy way and have to be shown rather than told!! I should have kept NC long ago! I even went as far as putting it on my cell phone background as a reminder!! Y, I hope you are having a great day as you should after that sweet Victory!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Haha Ioncebelieved, I put This to shall pass on my cellphone background with a picture of my mom lol. Each time I looked at it it reminded me I would be ok! I have had no contact since March when she dumped me for the millionth time, except a few day's after when we had some financial things to work out! She has contacted me a few times with spiteful remarks, and telling me about her life now even though I have never asked, or do I care! Well I do care, but she doesn't need to know that!! Nc has helped me tremendously to move on with my life finally after a year and half of a seriously dysfunctional relationship! I'm not 100% yet, maybe like 70%, but I'm getting there. I would probably be in the same situation as before if I would have mantained contact with her, letting her manipulate me, and hurt me with her words and actions. But finding Ls was a lifesaver for me, hell I didn't even know what Nc was until I found this board Lol!! Link to post Share on other sites
dead-dyke Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Yeah, so if you really love them, you need to disappear, so they will miss you. Hanging around gives them the chance to gradually let go. If they don't miss you/love you, well then, that's not gonna work. That's all I have to say about that. I'll say.... I broke 6 mos. NC just because the anxiety of a pending divorce got to me. Looks like I got the ball rolling. What I mean is, she still seemed to have no interest to fix it. I didn't bring it up, but neither did she. And she's the WAW. The only thing I wish for her now, is complete bliss and happiness. Till she meets someone that does that to her. I'm not bitter. Thank god, no kids. Wear sunscreen. ----- Oh yeah, had to edit, I forgot. I'm at peace where I'm at, so thank god, no resetting the clock. Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Haha Ioncebelieved, I put This to shall pass on my cellphone background with a picture of my mom lol. Each time I looked at it it reminded me I would be ok! You gotta do what is necessary!!! I had contact with her last Monday before the 4th and I knew then it was no more. Every time I talk to her I feel like crap for at least a day or so!! She was playing games again. There is nothing more she can do than suck the life out of me!!! I still love her more than anything and I am no where near the 70 percent you are at, but working on it. Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 The thing I have been thinking about today is why would I want to contact her ? I really can't think of anything to say to her. If I felt like I had things to say I would say them. I really don't want to know anything, hear anything or see anything to do with her. I said it in another thread the other day, I feel like she is dead, she no longer exists to me. I honestly hope I never see her face again. I will always have the good memories but she is gone from my life forever and I will never let her have any part of it again. In a nutshell- all contact would do is hurt me and help her, nothing more, nothing less. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FauxVowel Posted July 5, 2008 Author Share Posted July 5, 2008 The only way I will break NC is when she goes and messes it up for me. Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 That is thing ya see!!! It doesn't count if they contact you and it is impossible to avoid NC!!!! Just like when The Y's ex beeotch shows at his doorstep, that will not be counted as him breaking contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FauxVowel Posted July 5, 2008 Author Share Posted July 5, 2008 That is thing ya see!!! It doesn't count if they contact you and it is impossible to avoid NC!!!! Just like when The Y's ex beeotch shows at his doorstep, that will not be counted as him breaking contact. I would reset at zero when she comes over and I say anything to her other than "Leave Now". Link to post Share on other sites
purplepoodle Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 When was the last time you spoke/saw or texted? It's hard isn't it! I responded to his text about 2 hours ago. I never initiate the contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 so are you not interested at all about what she is doing etc. like for me i broke NC end of may. its been since then ive maintained it. what annoys me is that i know people that know her. semi-friends, so i hear bits and bobs. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I sometimes wonder if everyone needs to break NC at least once, some more often than that. When this happens and you have to reset the clock, it helps to fuel your determination not to hurt yourself again. Link to post Share on other sites
fran82 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 why are you all beating yourselves up about it. breaking your rules, only means your human, with feelings and needs. there is this real bad stigma attached, like your weak if you make contact. i say your stronger for trying to face your fear! so long as you keep a level head with you do it, and realize why you are doing it! it shouldn't be something you keep record of, be brave enough to step up to what YOU need, deal with the consequences and move forward, dont dwell! they probably aren't! (ps. dont mean any of that to sound harsh ) Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 so are you not interested at all about what she is doing etc. like for me i broke NC end of may. its been since then ive maintained it. what annoys me is that i know people that know her. semi-friends, so i hear bits and bobs. What good would it do me to know what she is doing ? I am not in her life anymore by her choice. She has a new man, new apartment, new life. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING. We have the same friends also, I just told all of them to never mention her and not to tell me anything. It has worked out pretty good except for one guy last week telling me something. Knowing anything about her would only get my mind thinking of her again and that is exactly what I am trying to avoid. The chapter of my life with her is over, I need to forget her and move forward . Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I sometimes wonder if everyone needs to break NC at least once, some more often than that. When this happens and you have to reset the clock, it helps to fuel your determination not to hurt yourself again. That's a good point. MY ex contacted me the last time I broke NC and after that, I made a promise to myself to never have contact again. I'm done like dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
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