Author underpants Posted July 5, 2008 Author Posted July 5, 2008 The responses have been interesting. Thanks everyone. With this particuliar person I would say that this lie is just the tip of the iceberg. My guess is that using 'divorced' gets more hits in his age range. ...and yes, he does have a story of dating a woman for years that he considers his "wife". It will be romantically and wonderfully spun to anyone who would listen. The truth of that relationship is a far, far, far different story. Anyway, I just thought it was a strange thing to lie about and I actually thought he was smarter then that. I do feel bad for anyone who takes that bait.
Lizzie60 Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 The guy just fears rejection if he says he's never been married... that's all... most people lie on these sites.. if it's not about the age, it's the height or the weight.. so what! no big deal...
Art_Critic Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 The guy just fears rejection if he says he's never been married... that's all... most people lie on these sites.. if it's not about the age, it's the height or the weight.. so what! no big deal... I never lied on my profile and neither did my wife... maybe that should tell ya something...
jerbear Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 I do online dating occasionally and I would prefer if an option is "single" for status. If I've never been married or I'm divorced, I can get into that when the time is right, they don't need to know that from my profile right away. Single isn't deceiving, you can be divorced or never married and be single. Being single by itself is not deceiving, however there is a difference between divorced and never married. I don't see it that way. I'm 39 and never married. There are guys who would think I'm bad news because I didn't put divorced, so either way I'm going to be judged negatively. I don't see why they need to know specifically if I'm divorced or not, they're both "single." I see where you are coming from however I do not agree. Lying is lying. It is one thing to verbally say it because you two can have an he said she said situation. It is even worse when you are conscientiously putting it on paper by clicking on the single never married box. I do not see being 39 and never married being a problem! I tend to pursue women who are never married over those women who were divorced. I would be even more PO'ed if she lied by saying she was never married over separated, divorced, or widowed. Also, why pursue guys who think you are bad news anyway? It is like saying to your perspective guys that I make the decisions by lying about my marital status. It is lying right off the bat. I say let the guys choose who they want. Just happens that some will choose a single never married woman over a single divorced woman.
lemony fresh Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 I don't think someone needs to know if you're "divorced" or "never married" until you get to know them, though. So "single" covers both, you're unattached, that is what matters.
Art_Critic Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 I don't think someone needs to know if you're "divorced" or "never married" until you get to know them, though. So "single" covers both, you're unattached, that is what matters. Why hide it ?... it is important info.. that is why all dating sites have the items to click... If a person has never been married and only wants a person who is the same as far as marital status goes then it is important.. Believe it or not that is the norm...
Art_Critic Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 I don't think someone needs to know if you're "divorced" or "never married" until you get to know them, though. So "single" covers both, you're unattached, that is what matters. Honestly.. that might very well be a mistake on your part.. you are deciding info that they need to know that has no bearing whatsoever on your privacy.. Although you haven't really lied since you have never been married but it still has the same personality trait we don't want.. By keeping that info from them you will wind up losing more of the good guys because we want people that can be honest and up front from the get go...
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Yes, see, I'm with you on that. But it could be a man who is 40 and never married is also "selective." So I don't see that as a red flag right off....which is why I think the guy just should have put "single" or "never married." Neither do I. if i were you, I would consider myself " selective'.
lemony fresh Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 Why hide it ?... it is important info.. that is why all dating sites have the items to click... If a person has never been married and only wants a person who is the same as far as marital status goes then it is important.. Believe it or not that is the norm... You are right. on eharmony it doesn't give the option of "divorced." You can put it in the profile if you wanted to I guess. Eharmony figures you spend $60 a month (ouch) for this service, they assume you're single and honest. ha ha. You're right, no one has really held it against me that I haven't married yet. So it's not an issue.
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