tranceguy Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 Well, it's been NC for almost 3 months. I was doing great, then I saw her today with another guy. It shattered everything I built up for myself. We were together for nearly three years, however, we treated each other like complete garbage. We always broke up every 3 months, slept around and got back together. Honestly I never saw the relationship going anywhere, but this for what ever reason brought me back down to square one. Any suggestions on how to get over this? I've done the whole meet new girls, dated, slept with them etc, but I can't get this off my mind and she treated me so bad....So damn confused.
kyta Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 Its because she treated you so bad that you cant let go, i diont know what it is, my x treated me badly and for 7 yrs i stayed, i jusat couldnt leave, she would break up with me time after time, then we would get back together only to break up again, me personaly couldnt leave as i felt so bad about myself, she made me feel so insecure, and i felt so scard of being without her, now i dont feel scared, she made me finnish it when i was pissed off, and then she found some else within a cpl days, that has helped me loads, i know there is no way back now, and i feel releived now that it finally over, i would of even gone back a few wks ago, but not now, i dont know what has changed in me but i like the change, u have to focus on u and not on how good u think they was, as they wasnt that good in the first place.
celinedion1 Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 Its because she treated you so bad that you cant let go, i diont know what it is, my x treated me badly and for 7 yrs i stayed, i jusat couldnt leave, she would break up with me time after time, then we would get back together only to break up again, me personaly couldnt leave as i felt so bad about myself, she made me feel so insecure, and i felt so scard of being without her, now i dont feel scared, she made me finnish it when i was pissed off, and then she found some else within a cpl days, that has helped me loads, i know there is no way back now, and i feel releived now that it finally over, i would of even gone back a few wks ago, but not now, i dont know what has changed in me but i like the change, u have to focus on u and not on how good u think they was, as they wasnt that good in the first place. I wish I could get to where you are at now. I'm going through something very similar. Even though my ex cheated on me, I had no contact with him for 4 days. I thought that I was fine and that we'd be able to have a friendship. Well it's been 1 month today, and on the 4th of july I cut off all contact with him. He told me he was using me for comfort since he couldn't be with his online gf (who he cheated on me with). He would even call his girlfriend from my bathroom and tell her that he loved her while telling me the same thing only minutes before. I felt really stupid because I believed what he was telling me (he was giving me mixed signals). However after telling me that he's just been using me this whole time and that he never ment anything he told me, I'll be happy to see him go to indiana to meet with and try to live with this girl all at once. He's given her a total of 3,000 dollars and is paying for her living expenses (never met her yet). I'm realizing that I'm a lot better of a person and I deserve so much more than what he was telling me. I'm happy that I no longer have to deal with all the hurt and the pain that he's caused me, and I'm seeing him for the maggot that he really is. Try to focus on yourself, take time for friends & family, and do things that you enjoy. As time goes on you'll start to feel better each day and then one day you'll find happiness again. I wish you the best of luck tranceguy.
kyta Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 I dont know how or why im feeling as good as i do, its only been 3 wks and 5days, (had to check that on the calender) but when i saw her in town with this other guy on tuesday holding hands i felt terrible, but later on in the evening i didnt care, im not happy in myself yet, but am not hurting over her, i have to deal with what is in front of me now, and that was my fear of leaving, i didnt want to face this, it was easier stying in the relationship, i knew where i was, but now i have to live again and im looking forward to it, i saw her again today with the guy and kids and her brohers gf in the park, they were sat at the same bench we sat at b4 when we took the kids to the park, i walked past head up high smile on my face, she didnt even look at me, and she looked miserable, i actully felt sry for her, but i didnt feel any pain for seeing her play familys, but i dont know why i have chnged inside, im just glad i have, as i cant stand the [pain i had a few wks ago, its a killer, im just loooking forward to building a new better life now.
celinedion1 Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 I dont know how or why im feeling as good as i do, its only been 3 wks and 5days, (had to check that on the calender) but when i saw her in town with this other guy on tuesday holding hands i felt terrible, but later on in the evening i didnt care, im not happy in myself yet, but am not hurting over her, i have to deal with what is in front of me now, and that was my fear of leaving, i didnt want to face this, it was easier stying in the relationship, i knew where i was, but now i have to live again and im looking forward to it, i saw her again today with the guy and kids and her brohers gf in the park, they were sat at the same bench we sat at b4 when we took the kids to the park, i walked past head up high smile on my face, she didnt even look at me, and she looked miserable, i actully felt sry for her, but i didnt feel any pain for seeing her play familys, but i dont know why i have chnged inside, im just glad i have, as i cant stand the [pain i had a few wks ago, its a killer, im just loooking forward to building a new better life now. Glad to hear your feeling better. Thankfully for me my ex is moving to indiana in September (well he plans to). He told me that all of his stress (his parents and me) is here so he's planning on going to indiana cause he thinks that there will be no stress there. Until that time when he leaves I'm just going ot let him be alone (since he has no friends in real life). I'm looking forward to moving on with my life and putting this whole mess behind me. I wish you the best of luck with your new life kyta.
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