snooping leads to the truth

July 10, 2008

Of course I have (and DO!). But, if Baller overheard me telling a gf that he was lousy in bed, or I wish I was dating his better looking friend, I would fully expect to be dumped.

How she found out is secondary to the gist of the info. I'd run with that more than anything.

i think you're blowing things out of proportion JB.... he didn't say he wanted to date the better looking girl, he just acknowledged she was better looking and had no baggage THAT IS ALL - don't put words into his mouth or his text as the case may be (that is unless i missed something...)

and how she found out is not secondary. snooping is wrong when you are generally satisfied with your relationship... in fact for many people i know its a total deal breaker

July 13, 2008

What's wrong with you, Aubree? You should have dumped him as soon as he outed his real feelings about you. You were given a gift with this knowledge, and I'm not sure why you are waiting around for him to break it off.

She won't. She's head over heels for this guy otherwise she would have let him go and certainly wouldn't wait around a week to talk. I don't think I'd remember what to say after a week. I can't stay angry that long.

July 14, 2008

She won't. She's head over heels for this guy otherwise she would have let him go and certainly wouldn't wait around a week to talk. I don't think I'd remember what to say after a week. I can't stay angry that long.

And partly because she feels guilty about snooping. Perhaps I come from a different planet, but I have never felt guilty about snooping ever, especially when I discover some horrible truth as in this case.

July 14, 2008

So do you hack into email accounts as well?

July 16, 2008

Thanks for the advice everyone! I thought I would give an update. My guy and I talked tonight and he was very sorry about what was said in the texts and I appologized in person for what I had done. We had a really great talk and he told me I'm the only one he wants to be with! I'm so happy, because I was expecting him to say the totally opposite. I told him I just want him to be happy no matter what and I really mean it. I care about him a great deal and I want to see him happy.

Now, i'm a realist so I know I will be turning here for advice in the future...you guys are great!

July 16, 2008

you should be so happy you gave in to your 6th sense........... LEAVE HIM

The well is poisoned and he is a pig.

July 16, 2008

Thanks for the advice everyone! I thought I would give an update. My guy and I talked tonight and he was very sorry about what was said in the texts and I appologized in person for what I had done. We had a really great talk and he told me I'm the only one he wants to be with! I'm so happy, because I was expecting him to say the totally opposite. I told him I just want him to be happy no matter what and I really mean it. I care about him a great deal and I want to see him happy.

Now, i'm a realist so I know I will be turning here for advice in the future...you guys are great!

how can you stay with a man who rated other women hotter than you and has the gaul to text someone to that effect ? please leave him !

A guy I almost dated tol me his ex gf was a 5 looks , 5 body and just based on that I wouldnt date him,

July 16, 2008

My gosh, i'm not blind...there are many other women that are better looking than me. Like many others have said in their posts people say things about the one they are with to their friends. It's the beginning, and I know in other past relationships I've said things about the guys i'm with when I start seeing them and I can guarentee those things were worse than this. He did try to explain himself but I really didn't see the need. I know he is sorry and I am as well. He asked me to respect his privacy and I intend to. When he said he would never say bad things to anyone else about me again, I believe him because I trust him and he really is a nice guy despite all this. We all make mistakes and I feel like both of us did, and I'm glad we were both able to recognize this and decide to move forward.

Can't you all just be happy for me?

July 16, 2008

My gosh, i'm not blind...there are many other women that are better looking than me. Like many others have said in their posts people say things about the one they are with to their friends. It's the beginning, and I know in other past relationships I've said things about the guys i'm with when I start seeing them and I can guarentee those things were worse than this. He did try to explain himself but I really didn't see the need. I know he is sorry and I am as well. He asked me to respect his privacy and I intend to. When he said he would never say bad things to anyone else about me again, I believe him because I trust him and he really is a nice guy despite all this. We all make mistakes and I feel like both of us did, and I'm glad we were both able to recognize this and decide to move forward.

Can't you all just be happy for me?

Good for you. What most people don't understand is everyone has private thoughts that their partner would not want to hear. If I were to think that my girlfriend hasn't thought or expressed to a close friend something that she wished I would change/was better at/didn't do/whatever, I would be a complete idiot.

I'm glad you see this for what it is. It really is a terrible thing when someone has their privacy taken away from them. They are thoughts, either private or between friends, that are meant to stay private. We all need them.

July 16, 2008

My gosh, i'm not blind...there are many other women that are better looking than me. Like many others have said in their posts people say things about the one they are with to their friends. It's the beginning, and I know in other past relationships I've said things about the guys i'm with when I start seeing them and I can guarentee those things were worse than this. He did try to explain himself but I really didn't see the need. I know he is sorry and I am as well. He asked me to respect his privacy and I intend to. When he said he would never say bad things to anyone else about me again, I believe him because I trust him and he really is a nice guy despite all this. We all make mistakes and I feel like both of us did, and I'm glad we were both able to recognize this and decide to move forward.

Can't you all just be happy for me?

Wow. That's some mighty deep denial, A.

You are forgiving him for telling these things to his friend, yet you are forgetting that THIS IS HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU.

It boils down to a self-esteem issue on your part. If you thought you deserved better treatment, you'd move on.

July 16, 2008

Can't you all just be happy for me?

No Im not happy for a woman and a Mother accepting man into her life again who trash talks her.

A man who LOVES you and RESPECTS you would NEVER ever say such disrepectful crud.

And since he knows now that you know and that you forgive him you have just rolled out the red carpet for all kinds of sludge to be acceptable.

Mark my words.

You are now Miss chick who accepts crumbs.

July 16, 2008

I guarantee you both you are hypocrits. You could not tell me you have never mentioned something in a comparative manner even about someone you were gaga over. Get over yourselves.

July 16, 2008

I guarantee you both you are hypocrits. You could not tell me you have never mentioned something in a comparative manner even about someone you were gaga over. Get over yourselves.

NEVER have I made disparaging comments about a guy I was "gaga" over.

I definitely have made snide remarks about guys I was very lukewarm about, however...

July 16, 2008

No Im not happy for a woman and a Mother accepting man into her life again who trash talks her.
A man who LOVES you and RESPECTS you would NEVER ever say such disrepectful crud.

The guy was bantering with his buddy. Every guy checks out other women and thinks they are better looking. Every guy fantasizes about other girls.

Despite the fact that there is this other girl, the guy chose to be with the OP. Sometimes there is just an undeniable chemistry between two people. True love is accepting another person, recogizing their faults and loving them in spite of them.

I wish you all the best OP.

July 16, 2008

Thanks, Krytie TV and konfuzd!

I know his guy is great and thats why I'm able to except the comments for what they are just comments. I have had people treat me like crap in the past and I am now able to see what a genuine person really is. I do not believe he will ever make comments about me like this again and if he does then they are his private thoughts. I'm very comfortable with myself and my looks, like i said before I'm not gorgous just average. And we do have that undeniable chemistry with each other. He's the type of guy I've always wanted to be with, kind and sweet and he always makes me feel good when I'm with him. I think he was just questioning us getting back together in the first place and I totally understand. He was trying to make sure he was ready for a commitment because he didn't want to break my heart again. He told me he wants to be with me and only me and I'm willing to see where it goes.

I would like for him and I to put this whole thing behind us, I don't know if he will be weary of leaving me alone with his phone again but if he does I will NEVER look at it again. I'm not sorry that I looked because I think it lead us to really evaluate things and decided that we want to be together... I get that not everyone would be able to look past the comments and thats okay. At first I was really hurt but after a while the hurt went away because I know you tell your friends things in private that you wouldn't want anyone else to hear. His one text said he can't do anything with the other girl they were talking about because he was with me. I trust him otherwise I would have ended things right away.

July 17, 2008

Wow. That's some mighty deep denial, A.

You are forgiving him for telling these things to his friend, yet you are forgetting that THIS IS HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU.

It boils down to a self-esteem issue on your part. If you thought you deserved better treatment, you'd move on.

Agree. That's pure denial. He told you what he knew you wanted to hear, and there you go! As happy as ever, and even ask others to be happy for this pure BS.

If anything, you should have been happy to find evidence of his deepest thoughts about you and this other girl, who's supposedly better than you as far as he's concerned (secretly).

July 17, 2008

Thanks, Krytie TV and konfuzd!

I know his guy is great and thats why I'm able to except the comments for what they are just comments. I have had people treat me like crap in the past and I am now able to see what a genuine person really is. I do not believe he will ever make comments about me like this again and if he does then they are his private thoughts. I'm very comfortable with myself and my looks, like i said before I'm not gorgous just average. And we do have that undeniable chemistry with each other. He's the type of guy I've always wanted to be with, kind and sweet and he always makes me feel good when I'm with him. I think he was just questioning us getting back together in the first place and I totally understand. He was trying to make sure he was ready for a commitment because he didn't want to break my heart again. He told me he wants to be with me and only me and I'm willing to see where it goes.

I would like for him and I to put this whole thing behind us, I don't know if he will be weary of leaving me alone with his phone again but if he does I will NEVER look at it again. I'm not sorry that I looked (but you already said you were???) because I think it lead us to really evaluate things and decided that we want to be together... I get that not everyone would be able to look past the comments and thats okay. At first I was really hurt but after a while the hurt went away because I know you tell your friends things in private that you wouldn't want anyone else to hear. His one text said he can't do anything with the other girl they were talking about because he was with me. I trust him otherwise I would have ended things right away.

Jesus, Aubree, this is unbelievable!

July 17, 2008

Okay, I am going to stop telling you all what I feel...there is no point! I did ask for advice and wanted to give an update but I really wish I wouldn't have now!!! Yes, I am sorry for snooping and think it was wrong, what I meant by my comment was, I think it pushed us to make a decision on what we really are to each other and for that I am not sorry.

I like to hear a variety of view points but I am NOT in denial! I know what I want and know both him and myself are sorry for what happened. Yes, he did tell me what I wanted to hear but that is what he feels as well. I was fully expecting him to come over and say sorry but this isn't going to work, but that's not what he did. I know him well enough to know he wouldn't tell me something if he didn't mean it.

Thanks for all the advice both good and bad...that's all I was trying to do!

July 17, 2008

Okay, I am going to stop telling you all what I feel...there is no point! I did ask for advice and wanted to give an update but I really wish I wouldn't have now!!! Yes, I am sorry for snooping and think it was wrong, what I meant by my comment was, I think it pushed us to make a decision on what we really are to each other and for that I am not sorry.

I like to hear a variety of view points but I am NOT in denial! I know what I want and know both him and myself are sorry for what happened. Yes, he did tell me what I wanted to hear but that is what he feels as well. I was fully expecting him to come over and say sorry but this isn't going to work, but that's not what he did. I know him well enough to know he wouldn't tell me something if he didn't mean it.

Thanks for all the advice both good and bad...that's all I was trying to do!

I would rather use both positive and negative, rather than good and bad...

But hey, It's okay, don't take it these comments too hard. I also wish all the best for you. I hope it works out for you, and maybe some of us just overreacted.

July 17, 2008

Okay, I am going to stop telling you all what I feel...there is no point! I did ask for advice and wanted to give an update but I really wish I wouldn't have now!!! Yes, I am sorry for snooping and think it was wrong, what I meant by my comment was, I think it pushed us to make a decision on what we really are to each other and for that I am not sorry.

I like to hear a variety of view points but I am NOT in denial! I know what I want and know both him and myself are sorry for what happened. Yes, he did tell me what I wanted to hear but that is what he feels as well. I was fully expecting him to come over and say sorry but this isn't going to work, but that's not what he did. I know him well enough to know he wouldn't tell me something if he didn't mean it.

Thanks for all the advice both good and bad...that's all I was trying to do!

Aubree it seems you are more concerned that this guy still wanted you after you snooped than what his true feelings are about your looks. You are happy about the outcome and that is all that is important. I wish you luck. Don't be angry at the opinions here, that's what you came for isn't it?

July 17, 2008

Aubree it seems you are more concerned that this guy still wanted you after you snooped than what his true feelings are about your looks. You are happy about the outcome and that is all that is important. I wish you luck. Don't be angry at the opinions here, that's what you came for isn't it?

It appears that Aubree recognizes the seriousness of her blunder and is suitably contrite about it.

It also appears to me that her guy is generous enough to overlook this indiscretion by her and he has decided to keeper her in his life inspite of her unwarranted intrusion into his private conversation.

Frankly I would have walked away on the spot.

July 17, 2008

If my guy told a buddy of his that "so and so" was better looking, had less baggage (and BTW, I have five children and I would hardly call those precious children baggage) and what not, I would walk and never look back.

It would be a total slap in my face and I would feel like he felt I was a second choice. At the very least, it would be embarrassing and uncomfortable for me to be around his friend he discussed me with, as I knew they had been taking jabs at my expense. (And those of you who think it was no big deal what he texted, it WAS at the OP's expense because the comments hurt her.)

No thank you.

If a guy really wants you and loves you, he would never compare you negatively.... For if he did, why in the world would he be with you? That aint love. Love doesn't make disparaging remarks about its love interest. And I don't care if he was joking with his friend or not.

It is called RESPECT.

And that, my friend, is what makes LOVE.

July 17, 2008

No Im not happy for a woman and a Mother accepting man into her life again who trash talks her.
A man who LOVES you and RESPECTS you would NEVER ever say such disrepectful crud.
And since he knows now that you know and that you forgive him you have just rolled out the red carpet for all kinds of sludge to be acceptable.
Mark my words.
You are now Miss chick who accepts crumbs.

I couldn't have said it better....

July 18, 2008

It appears that Aubree recognizes the seriousness of her blunder and is suitably contrite about it.
It also appears to me that her guy is generous enough to overlook this indiscretion by her and he has decided to keeper her in his life inspite of her unwarranted intrusion into his private conversation.

Frankly I would have walked away on the spot.

Are you serious?? What about him trash-talking her behind her back? If there's anyone we need to applaud here, it's Aubree herself. She chose to ignore the 'truth' as the title of her own thread reads, and took this guy back. It takes a lot of bravery and courage to do this.

July 18, 2008

You did what you felt you had to do. My H (soon to be x) turned out to be a sex addict, and a habitual liar. He also had numbers for women, saved under men's names. I also found that he posted nude pics of himself on the internet. It was a male police officer friend of mine that planted the snooping seed in my head, and it worked. If I didn't snoop, I would never have found out.

Sign In

snooping leads to the truth

Recommended Posts

serialgf

stillafool

Shygirl15

kizik

aubree1982

HeartLikeLead

HeartLikeLead

aubree1982

Krytie TV

Jilly Bean

HeartLikeLead

Krytie TV

Jilly Bean

konfuzd

aubree1982

Shygirl15

Shygirl15

aubree1982

Shygirl15

stillafool

imbewildered

Walking away

Walking away

Shygirl15

beautifullove

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...