Why are men afraid of beautiful women?

[Pedigree]

Looks still play an important role to me at my age!... which is why I date considerably younger.

 

And what age is that? Don't seem that old.

 

Maybe some will say it's shallow- but I honestly believe that people that take care of themselves and make an effort to stay in shape indicate a sense of self respect.

 

Agree

 

If you act afraid or in awe of someone you deem to be out of your league- you're sunk- the other person will always sense that trepidation and see it as a turn off. If you approach someone as an equal, and treat them that way... they will view you that way. It's just the way it is.

 

The worst thing a guy can do is approach me- or send me a message on a dating site with the opening words "I know I am probably out of your league, but..." That's a huge turn off! I just automatically assume they lack confidence.

 

Just remember, hot girls don't always get approached because they are hot and they pose too much of a percieved challenge. So approach them with confidence and throw caution to the wind.

 

Hear! Hear! And there's no bigger success story in this field than the geek who got the girl everybody wanted and went on to become my dad .

[Hotel Paradiso]

Ill be honast, i use to be very afraid of beautiful women..but now i just see them as the same as me. But sometimes the girl thinksshe is too good for a normal guy like me...happend before... but why are we so afraid? Do we think we are out of their league? Are we?

 

Because, on a very primal, tribal level, 50,000 years ago, they were likely taken, and if we pursued her, her husband and his crew would KILL us.

 

All of dating is wired for life 50,000 years ago, and it will make a lot more sense if you take it in that context, no matter how little it applies to modern life.

[JP77]

Did the tribeman who develop a wheel not find a date in this 50,000 years ago dating shindig?

[Balthazar]

You ask why men are afraid of beautiful women?

 

The right men are NOT afraid of them.

 

If you have been successful with women, and beautiful women in particular, you will not be afraid.

It will be the almost the same as approaching any woman.

 

You may be a bit more anxious but your previous experiences serve to bolster your confidence.

 

About 10 years ago I was in a relationship with an extremely attractive young lady.

I was 27 at the time and she was 23.

Who did she look like?

Monica Belucci but with light brown hair(I kid thee not).

My mindset was that if a woman like that is into me, then the sky is the limit.

 

This mindset helped me to keep on going after very attractive women, and I had every confidence that many of these women would be attracted to me.

 

That is the way you must approach beautiful women, with the conviction that they will find you attractive and desirable.

Can you fake this confidence until you make it?

Possibly, but it comes much more easily if you have been with even one beautiful woman in your life.

 

What can help a young man become more confident around attractive women is to have a lot of them as friends or colleagues, possibly by working at places where a lot of these young women will be(women's magazines,modeling agency, fashion design, hospital etc,).

 

I cannot comment on personality because I have met many women of beauty who have had nice enough personalities too.

 

Finally, I will agree with Lizzie about leagues.

You can possibly date a person a league or so above you, but you are really swimming upstream if you going after a model and are not reasonably handsome yourself.

[soyou]

When I was at high school, there was a guy in my class I had a crush on for one year long. I kept sending hints but he gave me no ****s back. In the end of the academic year, I decided to stop and hang out with another guy.

 

One day, our group went camping pretty far from the city for two days (including him). Out of the blue, he asked me to go arond the camping area and that he wanted to talk to me. He said he loved me at first sight but my parents were so rich and I was so beautiful and always had good grades. All of these things together made him feel unconfident. He thought that he would never have any chance to get close by me. Etc.

 

He was in my opion quite good looking. He was even classified as "TOP HOT GUYS" in my school. He is really smart.I till now cant figure out why he was so unconfident:sick:

 

But anyway, it was late when he confessed that he loved me. I had given a chance to another short-ugly-acnes around the face guy but with a full of confidence. :cool:

[Saxis]

...within 3 minutes he said "I am very well endowed." WTF? Why do people think they can be disrespectful? What a wanker!

 

Isn't that what he was already trying to tell you? Blame a guy for being honest.... :lmao:

 

Sadly I watched a similar approach work last week. My GF's friend was rather drunk, talking to this older guy at the bar, nearly fell over and "accidentally" touched his junk. She leans over to us and says "This guy is HUGE!", and they were heading out the door 15 minutes later, despite friends telling her not to...

 

 

As far as beautiful women, married one, had chances with others but was either involved or clueless about their interest. Unless I meet them through friends or know who they are already, I'll just be polite and make small talk if they persist, but otherwise avoid them and assume they are attention whores.

[45Reverse]

Good for you.. then you won't feel threatened and won't be heartbroken...

Stay within your league and everything will be fine..

 

 

That's some seriously arrogant $#it right there Liz.

[notgoodatthis]

Ill be honast, i use to be very afraid of beautiful women..but now i just see them as the same as me. But sometimes the girl thinksshe is too good for a normal guy like me...happend before... but why are we so afraid? Do we think we are out of their league? Are we?

 

 

Beautiful women are never single so right there, your chances of being rejected are about 99%.

[JP77]

That's some seriously arrogant $#it right there Liz.

 

It's funny though.

[JP77]

Beautiful women are never single so right there, your chances of being rejected are about 99%.

 

Not true, I've met a stunning girl a few months ago and she is single. Only, if she wanted me, sigh!

[Dark-N-Romantic]

God I hate that term! First and foremost, I am NOT afraid of beautiful women... two of my three girlfriends were HIGHLY attractive and I kept telling the my second gf she should really think about modeling... She was 6'2", blond haired, blue eyed, and had a sexy German accent. Oh and build both body wise and muscular (I'm 5'6" and I think I am average looking). Everyone else while not head turners, definitely weren't dogs or average lookers either.

 

No, the question I think most guys should be asking is why most beautiful women are afraid to have or themselves talk to less than gorgeous guys?

 

Now why I maybe HESITANT is because I only get the really beautiful women I have through friends and online dating.

 

Now back to the major idea of the thread...

 

Without reading anything else. Usually past experience has taught guys NOT to hit on beautiful women. Lets think back to our more impressionable years during our youth. The little pimpled face guy with glasses who is the sweetest thing there, approaches the girl on the cheerleading squad or some other popular girl. He is total humilated, insulted, degraded, berated, and treated like something less than an ant but more than a slug. What do you think that teaches them? Flash forward we are past our grade school we think women are older and more sophisticated now that we in college, OOPS! NO! WRONG! Caste system still in play, looks still majorly important. Okay it is past college we are in the real world talking in forums reading books and majority of the women when asked what first attracts you to a guy respond "A guy's appearance." and they go on to list this factors, hmmm. what is he to think? Not to mention a few other qualities that he may not have due to circumstance.

 

Okay I am going to show you exactly what I mean and I would love an honest answer from you ladies if these are the qualities you are willing to ignore in a man... And guys you can reply the same if you feel so about a woman.

 

1) I'm 5'6".

2) Slim built, with slight muscular build...I have been told I have a dancer's body.

3) Dark brown eyes.

4) Black hair with some gray (no I will not color my hair, well maybe no is to strong I would do in a committed relationship).

5) Cute, tight bum. My ex's loved my butt for some reason.

6) A combination of geeky shyness, some arrogance in things I hold a strong belief in, and confident in most other things.

7) Is very serious about not having sex before marriage.

8) Looks way younger than I am.

9) Live at home with mom currently, may be moving to Texas with best brother for employment.

10) Does have a criminal past. Not of intent, one of those foolish choices and willing to take the punishment for my failings kind of things.

11) As one can guess from #9 not employed, definitely not from lack of trying, more like from not being inexperienced enough for entry level work, yet not enough education and/or work in the field in some of the things I can do.

12) Doesn't smoke, drink, or do drugs.

13) No kids, but wants some if I ever get married.

14) Dark brown skin.

15) Personally I consider myself having average looks. But, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder I have been described from being handsome (super handsome, but definitely above average) to ugly. So, that is each individual to decide.

 

Here are a few of my traits. Now all you beautiful women, if I or a man similar to me stepped up to you, would you tell me I am aiming too high?

 

 

DNR

Oh, and yes, the avatar you see is a picture of me.

[JP77]

Gary Coleman is in the house.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Gary Coleman is in the house.

 

Umm... funny, but not nice.

[JP77]

Umm... funny, but not nice.

 

British sense of humor, sorry, DNR, You're a cool man. I didn't mean to offend.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

British sense of humor, sorry, DNR, You're a cool man. I didn't mean to offend.

 

None taken. I have had to learn not to take myself so serious sometimes.

 

 

DNR

[JP77]

None taken. I have had to learn not to take myself so serious sometimes.

 

 

DNR

 

Me, too. Life is better when you just laugh at everything.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

By the way, in my opinion Gary Coleman has a hot wife (who is way taller than him by the way). And I don't mean in the looks alone, because look wise, I think she is a little a bit above average, but her personality enhances it.

 

 

DNR

[Karyyk]

Most men equate beauty with being superficial. If they want some fun on the side, that's not so much of an issue, but if they want more than that, they're going to avoid that. It might not be fair, but that's how it is. Sayings have been made about it (beauty only being skin deep and all that...), society perpetuates it, and many "beautiful" women advance it. Sure must be tough being attractive... *sigh*

 

That's probably why they're afraid that someone is going to steal them away (as some here have mentioned), because they fear they're superficial to begin with. I'm not saying that this is always the case, but the law of averages seems to go along with it. I think it also has a lot to do with social class, as the 'beautiful' women from the upper echelons of society definitely seem to fall under the princess syndrome, while the ones from a more 'salt-of-the-earth' background seem much more down-to-earth (and have a personality to boot).

[Dark-N-Romantic]

Most men equate beauty with being superficial. If they want some fun on the side, that's not so much of an issue, but if they want more than that, they're going to avoid that. It might not be fair, but that's how it is. Sayings have been made about it (beauty only being skin deep and all that...), society perpetuates it, and many "beautiful" women advance it. Sure must be tough being attractive... *sigh*

 

That's probably why they're afraid that someone is going to steal them away (as some here have mentioned), because they fear they're superficial to begin with. I'm not saying that this is always the case, but the law of averages seems to go along with it. I think it also has a lot to do with social class, as the 'beautiful' women from the upper echelons of society definitely seem to fall under the princess syndrome, while the ones from a more 'salt-of-the-earth' background seem much more down-to-earth (and have a personality to boot).

 

I can see that for most men, but for me I am not afraid of a woman being taken from me. Because a woman is going to go astray if she wants to go astray. All I have to do is determine if the relationship is worth it if she decides she wants to stay. And I knew a lot of women who were very pretty and did not have a princess attitude, but that did not mean I was the kind of guy they wanted. If anything I found them to be like so many of the guys they complained about.

 

Which brings a funny question to mind... How is it women can say they are angry at men because they don't go for them because they are so beautiful, yet want to go for only the beautiful men themselves? Have any of them really sat down and realized how much of a hypocrite they are?

 

 

DNR

[Pedigree]

Beautiful women are never single.

 

That and/or they got other guys waiting in the wings. To get women like these you either have to be:

1. Lucky

2. Pretty high up on the ladder if you're one of those guys waiting in the wings.

[monkey00]

As you get older you eventually realize that looks are only skin deep. When I was younger and knew very little about women, looks did intimidate me. I didn't necessarily feel out of their league, but just being in their presence would make me nervous.

 

Nowadays, hardly. There are attractive women at my job in all forms and shapes, and I just treat them like any other girl - whether at a party, event, etc. The secret is to not place them on a pedestal and you'll be fine.

 

The fact that a lot of people don't realize is once women lose their makeup, they all look pretty average.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

Wow, no one answer my post yet that shows why most men have difficulty talking to beautiful women...

 

Beautiful women know they would not talk or date a guy like me anyway. So, why wonder why? It would be like me asking why can't I get a date if I stay at home and don't participate in activities that might help attract women to me. And it comes to show that beautiful women are just as superficial as much as most of us men are.

 

 

DNR

[Balthazar]

I'm not sure about the relevance of this anecdote, but I will post it anyway.

 

Last Friday, I was having a drink at a seaside bar with a few friends.

The bar is casual, and has a fun atmosphere with mainstream rock tracks from the 80's-90's(Pretenders, Spin Doctors stuff).

Lots of good looking guys, and attractive women.

I was enjoying conversation and drinks with my friends when a very beautiful young woman(about 25) enters with a female friend(about 35;attractive).

 

She was clearly the most beautiful woman in the bar/cafe, and it was not just her face; it was also the way she carried herself and her dress style.

 

After scoping out the place they sit near us(stand actually).

I glance over her way, she returns my glance, and starts preening(hair mostly).

 

She is approached almost immediately by a guy who gets his a$$ handed to him.

A minute later, suitor #2 comes in and is also promptly dispatched.

 

We exchange a glance again, she tosses her hair, exposes her neck.

However, I do not approach.

I notice she is playing with her mobile phone, so I relax.

 

Minutes later, a guy turns up with a pal of his, and they go directly to the 2 women.

They are clearly friends, but will be sitting together tonight.

 

The relevance of this post?

 

This beautiful woman was hit on TWICE in 5 minutes time.

You can imagine how many times a week, or a month or a year she has been hit on.

Her confidence is SKY HIGH when it comes to most men.

And that is the case with many beautiful women.

 

The only guys that can faze them are the true alpha males(looks, power, and money wise).

The guy who will walk up to her and say

" I have my yacht parked in the marina, let's go for a ride"

Superficial? Maybe, but it works.

 

Why didn't I approach her?

 

She dispatched 2 guys in 5 minutes, and I correctly assessed that she was waiting for someone.

 

She seemed mildly interested in me, but after the two

dudes, she was a rock and probably looking for a new suitor to dump.

 

Would I have approached her if she hadn't dumped the 2 guys before me?

 

Yes, and my chances would have been much better as she had not received all the positive reinforcement for her ego.

 

Cheers,

[Pedigree]

Wow, I hope that's just an extreme example.

[just-a-girl]

I don't understand why men are intimidated by any woman. We want to be loved just the same as y'all. If you approach us with respect you can disarm us pretty quick.