ZenSilk Posted July 4, 2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Wow, actually I think I'm still finding this out... but so far I'd say: 1. Ability to love 2. Honesty 3. Open communication 4. Confidence 5. Kind-heartedness 6. Not afraid of self-development 7. Humility
grogster Posted July 4, 2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Five traits/characteristics that I like in prospective lovers: 1. Raw Intelligence--sharp, quick, analytical and informed 2. Subversive wit--iconoclastic, creative and plain funny 3. Independence--she enjoys her own ragged company 4. Sexually subversive --flexible boundaries, experienced, fun 5. High Emotional IQ--warm, compassionate and empathic
JackJack Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 1. Honesty 2. Integrity 3. Morality 4. Empathy 5. Humor
blair08 Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 Respect is my number one. If I can respect someone else, then it should be expected from them in return.
J2FT1 Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 To be honest, most people will say they value/expect these things but will really tolerate anything but. It is why there are so many failed relationships.
ZenSilk Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 To be honest, most people will say they value/expect these things but will really tolerate anything but. It is why there are so many failed relationships. Which is also good to remind ourselves of these kind of values we think are important. Just trying to make sure we remember this and don't tolerate anything that doesn't fit into this. Or if we do, make sure we're just testing our value system, not diving into another person without questioning anything.
Yamaha Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I've noticed that the value system is for picking friends we want in our lives but when it comes to relationships the value system is non-existent. It's all about feelings and they are not logical. I value a great heart in a friend and in a relationship.
shadowplay Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I find it interesting that about 75% of people didn't have something like empathy or ability to love on their list. To me that's hugely important -- that somebody is emotionally available and caring. Being with somebody who isn't is hell.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 1. Honor/honesty. 2. Maturity. 3. Compassion/Passion/Caring. 4. Sympathy/Empathy. 5. Morality/Ethics. 6. Individualism. 7. Sharing/Openness. 8. Family values. 9. Forgiveness. 10. Spirituality. 11. Personality. 13. Sexuality. 14. Health. 15. Communication skills. 16. Ability to comprise and submit. (Geez why do I know I am going to catch hell for this again?) 17. Faithfulness. 18. Intelligence. 19. Physical beauty. 20. Inner beauty. DNR
sunshinegirl Posted July 6, 2008 Posted July 6, 2008 I find it interesting that about 75% of people didn't have something like empathy or ability to love on their list. To me that's hugely important -- that somebody is emotionally available and caring. Being with somebody who isn't is hell. Yes, I learned to look for these qualities the hard way.
Author Trialbyfire Posted July 6, 2008 Author Posted July 6, 2008 Generalized Statement Disclaimer: The following comments don't encompass the entire male population and also shouldn't be taken personally. Not all but many men I've come into contact with, either don't have empathy or use their empathy, as the input affects or directly relates to them. Not too many have the same style of unselfish empathy that many, not all, women have.
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