Jump to content

What's Your Value System?

Trialbyfire

By Trialbyfire
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
Posted

There've been discussions in a couple of threads about value systems. I'm curious what everyone else values in a potential mate. Here's my top 5 non-negotiables to start the ball rolling:

  1. Honour (honesty is a given within the confines of this criteria)
  2. Integrity
  3. Morality
  4. Intelligence
  5. Sense of Humour

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

For me, it's really simple. Whenever I contemplate an action/word/decision, I ask myself "what would my father have thought of the man I've become?"

 

I was lucky enough to have a really substantial standard set by someone who gave me a whole lot more than love.

 

I've failed more than I'd like to admit, especially lately, but dad was a forgiving man as well, as long as a lesson was learned.

 

IIRC, TBF, you have similar experience. Hopefully (I can't recall), he's still in your life. :)

  • Author
Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yes carhill, my father is still very much in my life and will be hopefully for years and years to come.

 

He's a wonderful role model, but then so is my mother.

 

So, what do you value in a potential mate, carhill? What do you look for?

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

Posted
Posted

  1. Honesty
  2. Integrity (the top two basically make up morality, IMO)
  3. Sense of humor
  4. Intelligence
  5. Open-mindedness
  6. Doesn't use superfluous u's
  7. Big titties

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted
Yes carhill, my father is still very much in my life and will be hopefully for years and years to come.

 

He's a wonderful role model, but then so is my mother.

 

So, what do you value in a potential mate, carhill? What do you look for?

Value in a mate? TBH, I think I've given up on that. It's too much of a fog right now. A billion electrons whizzing around.

 

Two words oft-repeated by me in MC, perhaps not relevant to your OP, would be:

1. Empathy

2. Caring

 

I'm naturally trusting, so the honesty/loyalty stuff is a given for me. I don't look for it, rather examine evidence of its dearth when such comes my way.

 

If I said intelligence, it would need specificity, as in exhibited intelligence. Even more specifically, exhibited emotional intelligence. A women who sees the big picture emotionally and can articulate that to me has big time value.

 

You see, chaos has come to rule my world :D

 

On that turn, I will opine my last value, stability. A port in my storm. A foundation for my dreams.

 

How's that? :)

 

Oh, glad to hear your dad's healthy and in your life. Many more hugs to get and give :)

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

Posted
Posted

6. Doesn't use superfluous u's

 

*sighs* Damn.

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

Posted
Posted
*sighs* Damn.

 

:)

 

I prefer bastardized English. :D

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

Posted
Posted
:)

 

I prefer bastardized English. :D

 

You mean incorrect? :p

  • Author
Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Before you two continue bantering, C_E, you have to provide your value system! After that, banter away! :p

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
  1. Big titties

 

All that matters. :)

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

Attached to the right person, I can value that, though down yonder backside might be of greater interest :)

jerbear Established Member

jerbear

Posted
Posted

  1. Honesty
  2. Intelligence
  3. Morality
  4. Integrity
  5. Sense of humor
  6. Open-minded
  7. Long hair
  8. Legs
  9. "Big titties"
  10. Green eyes

 

Simple top 10 list.

tanbark813 Established Member

tanbark813

Posted
Posted
All that matters. :)

 

Am I that transparent? :D

Tony T Established Member

Tony T

Posted
Posted
There've been discussions in a couple of threads about value systems. I'm curious what everyone else values in a potential mate. Here's my top 5 non-negotiables to start the ball rolling:
  1. Honour (honesty is a given within the confines of this criteria)
  2. Integrity
  3. Morality
  4. Intelligence
  5. Sense of Humour

 

No, I think you mean to keep the ball rolling after a period of time. Unless a person is mentally challenged, they will work very hard to have these qualities in the beginning of a relationship...when the ball is starting to roll so to speak. Sadly, there are not a lot of people these days with a true sense of honor, integrity or morality, I have found. Intelligence and a sense of humor are a bit more easy to come by.

 

You have to know someone a very long time under many sets of circumstances to see their true selves...to see if they really have morals and integrity. Issues have to surface in the relationship for these to be tested. As long as someone is in love with you it's likely they will work hard to keep up a front no matter what. When the love chemicals diminish, you may find yourself with a lying, cheating turkey with no morals.

 

It's a tough world out there!

  • Author
Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
  • Author
Posted
No, I think you mean to keep the ball rolling after a period of time. Unless a person is mentally challenged, they will work very hard to have these qualities in the beginning of a relationship...when the ball is starting to roll so to speak. Sadly, there are not a lot of people these days with a true sense of honor, integrity or morality, I have found. Intelligence and a sense of humor are a bit more easy to come by.

 

You have to know someone a very long time under many sets of circumstances to see their true selves...to see if they really have morals and integrity. Issues have to surface in the relationship for these to be tested. As long as someone is in love with you it's likely they will work hard to keep up a front no matter what. When the love chemicals diminish, you may find yourself with a lying, cheating turkey with no morals.

 

It's a tough world out there!

I won't disagree Tony. That's why I tend to date men who I've either known for years or have a way to find out who they are, previous to getting involved. Even then it's a crapshoot, but it's not going to stop me from continuing to try.

 

Previous to the ex-H, while these 5 traits were high on the list, I didn't realize how significant they were, which was assumptive of me.

Lookingforward Established Member

Lookingforward

Posted
Posted
:)

 

I prefer bastardized English. :D

 

 

we can tell :bunny:

Lookingforward Established Member

Lookingforward

Posted
Posted

1. Must be breathing

2. Preferably have a strong pulse

 

Everything else is negotiable :cool:

mental_traveller Established Member

mental_traveller

Posted
Posted

Treat others as you'd like to be treated - unless you are a masochist

  • Author
Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Value in a mate? TBH, I think I've given up on that. It's too much of a fog right now. A billion electrons whizzing around.

 

Two words oft-repeated by me in MC, perhaps not relevant to your OP, would be:

1. Empathy

2. Caring

 

I'm naturally trusting, so the honesty/loyalty stuff is a given for me. I don't look for it, rather examine evidence of its dearth when such comes my way.

 

If I said intelligence, it would need specificity, as in exhibited intelligence. Even more specifically, exhibited emotional intelligence. A women who sees the big picture emotionally and can articulate that to me has big time value.

 

You see, chaos has come to rule my world :D

 

On that turn, I will opine my last value, stability. A port in my storm. A foundation for my dreams.

 

How's that? :)

 

Oh, glad to hear your dad's healthy and in your life. Many more hugs to get and give :)

Somehow I missed this post carhill. I can see that a billion electrons are zinging! :laugh:

 

Thanks. My daddy will always be there to give me big bear hugs, if only in spirit. He's already told me he'll continue to watch over me and mine, regardless. :love:

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted

I want:

 

intelligence

humour

money

great sex

 

in that order

 

Am I shallow? So!

  • Author
Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Regardless of shallow or not, it's your value system, which everyone has a right to.

ahah2322 Established Member

ahah2322

Posted
Posted

1. He must be loving

2. He must be independent

3. He must be confident

4. He must be successful

5. He must always strive to improve

Nevermind Established Member

Nevermind

Posted
Posted

1. Confidence

2. Honour

3. still has his inner child

4. Empathy

5. Patience

 

An impossible combination.

sb129 Established Member

sb129

Posted
Posted

  1. Honesty
  2. Integrity (the top two basically make up morality, IMO)
  3. Sense of humor
  4. Intelligence
  5. Open-mindedness
  6. Doesn't use superfluous u's
  7. Big titties

 

I thought I was in until I read numbers 6 & 7. :( Sadly, I am not blessed with big ones. And I use the Queens English. Oh well.

 

My list is

 

1. Wonderboy. :love:

Event Horizon Established Member

Event Horizon

Posted
Posted

1. Loyal

2. Loyal

3. Great Legs

4. Loyal

5. Under 30

 

edit: and she has to be aggressive. Asking me out gets major points and will turn me on in and of itself. My greatest relationships have been with women who asked me out rather than waiting for me to do it.

 

 

E..H

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...