KinAZ Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 OK... this may sound sort of bad, and I'm slightly embarrassed for even posting this, but here goes: I joined this site last week because a guy I was crushing on annoyed the hell out of me. I can be terribly bashful at times, and I tend not to approach guys at all. On the few occasions when I have actually been the passive-aggressive aggressor, it was only because they guy was drooling. Blame my ego, or call it insecurity if you must, but I don't take such risks unless I'm POSITIVE he's interest, the strong attraction is mutual, and I figure he hasn't spoken up because he's really shy as well. Now, I'm old enough to know that just because a guy is attracted doesn't mean he's interested or even available. Also, I know that just because a guy is nice or seems a little flirty, it doesn't mean he's flirting. (I sometimes seem like I'm flirting when I'm not, so I know how that goes.) But there are times when someone is completely obvious. And so, as far as my former crush was concerned, I assumed that he was taken, thought I was taken, or was attracted but not exactly interested. However, I eventually grabbed my proverbial balls and tried to test the waters. All lights were green, as far as I could tell, and I started to think that maybe my approach was too aggressive or that I possibly came across as arrogant to him. (The main reason I posted here initially) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t156271/ As I didn't hear back from him after mentioning a guy who we were both associated with in the past (and him initially thinking that I actually had him confused with this other guy), I decided to throw a little nerdy flattery at him, combined with a question of status and an easy out. In terms of: "I bet your girlfriend [blahblahblah]" I figured this way he could easily lie if he's not interested, etc etc. I know that the above sounds silly and corny, but I thought it would be easier for me to do instead of saying "Are you involved with anyone at the moment?" I think I'm a smart girl, but I don't always behave as such. Anyway, less than 12 hours later, his number was deleted because of his non-reply to my text, and my ego was shot to hell in a hand basket. I said in the original thread that I wasn't plotting a guerrilla attack (I know), but I figured I might as well get it over with. Technically speaking, it is a non-issues now, however, as this is the first time I've had such an experience in 27 years of life, I guess I need closure or something? Yes, I am an idiot, and I did expect the guy to bubble over with cotton candy, gum drops, butterscotch, and licorice whips from the thrill of me paying honor to him in such a way. (Not because I'm so great, but because he at least seemed to think so.) I already know that plenty out there would have no sympathy for me at all, but for those who do.... hehehe, I need outside opinions. So far, from male friends, all I've gotten was that he's scared or playing hard to get (which I doubt), and one friend who thinks the guy may have mistook what I meant when I asked about his comely appendages (he was in an accident). I've already moved on, so to speak, but I'm still annoyed.
Keridan Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 hehe ... You really need to calm down. Most likely the boy is a shy one. If not that, he just doesn't know what to say. Taking the indirect route will slowly drive you nuts. It gives him too many ways out of handling it. He can convince himself you don't want him, he can play all the same mind games with himself you are playing. For all you know, he could really have a gf and is afraid of liking you too much so he's avoiding contact. Could be a perfectly respectable reason. You need to either just get right up there and ask him out or move on to the next boy. It sucks, I know. But he isn't going to respond if he hasn't already. He's scared for one reason or another. Either you have to corner him or let him run. I'm sorry, cuz I know you really like this one. Unfortunately, he appearantly isn't up to the game. I hope I'm wrong and wish you luck with whatever you choose to do!
Author KinAZ Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Oh, I've lost interest. He can do whatever he wants now. LOL, Like I said before, I don't like mysteries. (Not unless I'm reading a book or watching a movie.) I don't care what his reason is, not replying, to me... is a little disrespectful. The way I see it, all he had to say was that he had a girlfriend, or something along those lines. So, I don't think a relationship is a respectable reason either. Very insistent about helping me out, about giving me a ride even after I declined twice (as it wasn't necessary, and a little inconvenient for both of us), and blah blah blah... so what I'm dealing with now is just the aftershock I guess. It's just not processing well for me or something.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 4, 2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Oh, I've lost interest. He can do whatever he wants now. LOL, Like I said before, I don't like mysteries. (Not unless I'm reading a book or watching a movie.) I don't care what his reason is, not replying, to me... is a little disrespectful. The way I see it, all he had to say was that he had a girlfriend, or something along those lines. So, I don't think a relationship is a respectable reason either. Very insistent about helping me out, about giving me a ride even after I declined twice (as it wasn't necessary, and a little inconvenient for both of us), and blah blah blah... so what I'm dealing with now is just the aftershock I guess. It's just not processing well for me or something. I've been there. It's a big blow to the ego, but that shouldn't make you any less attractive. Anyone who makes someone wait 12 hrs is not worth it. whether they see it as an easy way or not, there's still plenty of other people who are much more interesting.
Author KinAZ Posted July 4, 2008 Author Posted July 4, 2008 Yeah, I'm pretty big on the respect issue, and he didn't seem like the type to be disrespectful. The best that I can figure, after I went over the issues again (considering the past crush he had) was that he's spooked or has a gf and didn't know how to respond. (Like "Is she trying to find out if I have a girlfriend, or does she know I have a girlfriend and just not care?") I don't know... he just seemed a little too sweet (as mild as he may be) to just be rude.
thanksforthememories Posted July 4, 2008 Posted July 4, 2008 ... he just seemed a little too sweet (as mild as he may be) to just be rude. Yeah, these kind of conflicting qualities drive me nuts too. My sympathies.
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