Krytie TV Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I was having a discussion with a woman recently about cohabitation. She has done it a couple of times, as have I. She stated she would never do it again because she believed it was hard on the relationship and is overall not a good thing. I argued (OK, I do that occasionally), knowing what I know about her past relationships, that I believed the problem was moreso incompatibility than it was the act of living together. She was inclined to agree with that. I have lived with someone twice. One I broke up with and one I married. I did not at all see it as bad on the relationship. However, I know enough to realize that marriage does not make things better in a relationship, so I don't have unrealistic expectations that someone will change for the better after marriage. What you see living together is usually what you get. I know people have mixed views on cohabitation, but I was just curious to hear thoughts on whether cohabitation is destructive to relationships or whether it is moreso a way to see the symptoms of a deeper incompatibility. Which do you think is more accurate?
blind_otter Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I know people have mixed views on cohabitation, but I was just curious to hear thoughts on whether cohabitation is destructive to relationships or whether it is moreso a way to see the symptoms of a deeper incompatibility. Which do you think is more accurate? I think living with someone will more quickly and easily reveal deeper incompatibility. It's much easier to conceal incompatibility when you both go to your corners of the ring, so to speak. When you have to pay bills and deal with the tedious details of living with someone, you can quickly see when you are incompatible. To say that living with someone can be destructive to relationships seems whack, to me. Wouldn't that mean that everyone who lives together will break up, due to the destructive nature of living together? How can the institution of marriage magically change that inherently destructive nature of living together, then?
Author Krytie TV Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 I couldn't agree more. Let's not even mention the money you save living together.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I personally have no problem living together during marriage. A lot of posters on here are unhappy with living together due to their desire to have a "ring." But I don't think it really makes much of a difference whether or not you are engaged, married, or just dating when you live together. I think you handle things the same way (chores, bills, groceries, ect.) no matter what "relationship" status you have. Actually being engaged or married I think would add more stress to the mix as opposed to just dating. I moved in with my bf about a month ago and so far it has been real great. I think you can tell where you have problems and where you don't when you see how being together all the time works out. I think you also need to be on the same page regarding committment prior to moving in together, in order to see if you have the same agenda. Overall, I think it different for every couple. It's about compatiblity, not whether or not you cohabitate.
Recommended Posts