Save me from a lifetime of lonliness!

[Mexxx]

Alright people, i'm new to these forums and this is my first post, so please be nice. This is going to be a long post. I'm 17 years old, just out of high school and need some help with the ladies. Ever since i started school i've been outgoing, talkative, and the class clown, with a huge bunch of friends, no fear of talking to girls at all, thats what i would do in my leisure time, go to the mall or movies to hook up with girls, and i was mostly succesful, and when i wasn't it didn't bother me at all. At the start of my 11th grade year in high school i started smoking pot regularly, every day. At first it was alright but then i started getting acne. My life then was headed downwards, from the marijuana and acne my confidence and self esteem shot way down, and i was incredibly self conscious about my looks. I would skip school because i didn't want people to see me. It got so bad at the end of the school year i had only passed one class. The next year was better academically, as i got independant study (home school) but was even worse on my social life. I would rarely get out of the house, maybe once a week and when i did i was nervous and anxious and spent hours preparing for what to wear. In that year i had probably gone out only 10 times to hang out with friends, much less girls.I would venture to say that it was the worst time of my entire life. The nervousness led me to stop going out altogether. Last year in early december i finally stopped smoking, i didn't want to be such a nervous wreck around my family during christmas time. But my acne was still horrible so i was still nervous and self conscious. With spring came new hopes and goals. I was still nervous alot around people but i began getting into fitnesse and it has helped me to feel alot better. i started chilling and going to parties again and my old best friend proposed we smokeout for old times' sake. ( and i forgot to mention, i told none of my friends about how i was feeling, i pretended i was fine and just doing other stuff.) It was alright at first but it soon became terrible. I entered an almost schizophrenic state, i was paranoid and incredibly hyper and i started to hallucinate, it took all of my resolve and willpower to make it through that nite. That was in february, after that episode i vowed never to smoke again. Since then things have been getting steadily better and better, i'm in better physical shape than ever, my acne is clearing up very well, but i still have one problem, well two but one that is of utmost importance to me. I haven't even kissed a girl in almost 2 years. It has been so long that i am starting to question my sexuality, even though i know i am heterosexual. It's like i have this part of conscious that is spewing out negative remarks, telling me i can't do it. Now, please forgive me for that auto-biography, as i go back and re-read my post i can tell it is largely unneccesarry but nobody except me knows any of it, and it feels good to let somebody know what i've been through.........Now, on to the main purpose of my post.

 

I used to have such an easy time with girls, talking, touching, everything. It came completely natural for me and I miss it so much! Now i have such a hard time talking to people, and with girls, its even worse! I feel like i'm so far behind catching up will be almost impossible, but i know if i don't try now i may be lost forever. When i'm talking to girls i'm so nervous and i try to completely cloak it but i feel like they know all this horrible stuff about me. I don't know what to say, i can't speak eloquently and make my words flow, even though in the past it came so easily. Please, anyone out there with advice, come to my aid!! You'll be helping my well-being and future immeasurably, and saving me from a lifetime of lonliness and anguish!

 

Thank you!!!!!!!!

[Dark-N-Romantic]

You have just exponentially expanded your known universe. You have entered a new level of expectation and responsibility. You are entering a world where the things of a child has very little tolerance to most out of the grade schools. Women and men aren't turned on by the same cutesy things you use to do in high school that are all smoke and mirrors. Here substance is as much importance, if not more so than content. Most women and men are continuing to define themselves as individuals and usually not by some expected standards or attempt to fit it. So, while it is great you know how to talk and get people's attention. You will have to know now how to do it, with home to do it to, when and where is certain aspects of your gift of gab is good. You have not lost your skill, you know just have to fine tune it so that it means something more than childish foolery.

 

 

DNR