4givrnt4gtr Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 this had GOT to be one of the worst days in my history.... Last night my bf/ex bf were talking. We've been on our way to getting back together, but i felt I had to tell him about me kissing a friend while we were apart. He was rather upset, had a bit of a hissy fit...but then calmed down and said we've both made mistakes, and lets move forward. So, then, I asked him what were we doing....he said he didnt know...he didnt know what he wanted. (BTW the reason why we broke up to begin with was bc he texted some chick some dirty stuff...he begged and pleaded that I didnt leave him when I found them). He said he wanted to be with me but that he was also afraid of the what ifs...what if he was wrong about me, what if we made a mistake. So, I told him that there will always be what if in any relationship...etc etc....bassically I felt like I was convincing him that he wanted to have a relationship with me, as opposed to "going with the flow" as he likes to put it. Well, he finally agreed to it, and when he did I realized I had convinced him...and I felt REALLY retarded....Did i just begged the man who cheated on me to renew our relationship? how did he turn the tables like that!!! So all day ive been thinking about this and I decided, much to my own heartbreak, that I couldnt be with him. I want more...i want to be wanted 100%...I want to be loved and appreciated and not someone who doubts that he wants me when I offered him a second chance. (which he asked for btw). In any case....after a horrible day filled with huge problems at work, feeling like a complete and utter loser in absolutely every single area of my life. I came home to write him the goodbye email.... and now i feel like ****....im scared and im sad.... Please tell me I did the right thing....tell me I was right about this....please someone tell me Im not a complete loser who cant get her **** straight
JustinWolf Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 your not a complete loser who can't get her **** straight. No seriously. What if's are always there in relationships, what you gotta do is move on. You will find someday, someone who will be able to love you and care for you. What you did was right. It was about time because it sounds like the guy whom you are with isn't even sure of anything. One thing I've learned is when you aren't sure, it's time to put it off. I hope you'll be doing fine, get together with friends and enjoy life. >:-D
Keridan Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 You did fine. You have every right to want to be with someone who is 100% into you and not spending their time doubting things. That's how a relationship should work. There are always questions in a relationship, but you talk about them or move past them, not trade dirty texts with some other person. From the little you wrote about the conversation you had, he sounds a bit manipulative. He was disloyal to you, treated you badly, then got upset at you for what you did while separated (none of his business by the way). Aside from that, you two are obviously looking for different things. You need to find someone who is on the same page as you. He will be fine and you will be happier (after some time). I'm sorry there isn't a great answer that makes everything better, but I do think you did the right thing and wish you all the best of luck and better times.
CarrieT Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I came home to write him the goodbye email.... Please tell me I did the right thing....tell me I was right about this....please someone tell me Im not a complete loser who cant get her **** straight You probably did the right thing, but breaking up in an e-mail is major chicken-**** and cowardly. If you can't face him and do it honorably, you aren't ready to be in a relationship in the first place.
justaman99 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Well, he finally agreed to it, and when he did I realized I had convinced him...and I felt REALLY retarded....Did i just begged the man who cheated on me to renew our relationship? how did he turn the tables like that!!! I hate to say I told you so but as I stated in your reconciling thread: Your ex is an *******. He's poking and probing trying to find information about what you did after you broke up when he's the one that f'd up. He's trying to change direction on the problem at hand and it isn't fair to you at all. I don't think your not telling him about a kiss with some guy after your break up is something you need to worry about. I think what you really need to focus on is the REAL problem. This guy cheated on you and he's trying to change the subject basically. He's trying to find a fault in you and will use that to balance the situation. Be careful here and don't let his tactics put guilt in your head. -Just
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