AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I have been friends with "Jan" for the past three years. She is a really nice person, and we have a lot of fun together. Generally, I really enjoy hanging out with her, as well as her husband, but he can be a little wierd at times. The two of them came over last night to commiserate with me over some recent life events, and the evening's activities did involve several bottles of wine. Her husband smokes, so he goes out on the porch to light up when he is at my house. While he was outside, I happened to glance through the front window and saw him standing on my front porch, urinating over the side, while smoking his cigarette. This is just one incident in a string of odd social behavior. At my last birthday party, he gave me pot as a present. (Not that I'm against pot, but it was the first time I had received it as a gift). At a Valentine's Day dinner concert earlier this year, he unzipped his pants under the table, stuck his hand inside his fly, and scratched himself. Generally, when I hang out with Jan, her husband is not around. I see him at most three or four times during the year, but he always does something that is strange, socially inappropriate, or just plane illegal. He is a surprisingly smart guy who is always interesting to talk to, but he keeps doing these things. If I want to continue the frienship, do I just keep my mouth shut? What other option do I have?
johan Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 While he was outside, I happened to glance through the front window and saw him standing on my front porch, urinating over the side, while smoking his cigarette. Maybe his ashes started a little fire that he was trying to put out while you were stealing your glance at him. He might have saved you thousands of dollars in damage. At a Valentine's Day dinner concert earlier this year, he unzipped his pants under the table, stuck his hand inside his fly, and scratched himself. How do you know he did this? Maybe just arrange to hang out with her but without him as much as possible.
Author AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 I know he scratched himself under the table because I saw him do it. Unfortunately, I was sitting right next to him trying to eat my steak. I have tried arranging to only hang out with Jan, but he has tagged along a few times when the two of us made plans. For example, he was bored one Saturday morning and decided to tag along when we went thrift store shopping. It was pretty obvious at the time that he was stoned, which I wasn't that concerned about, since he wasn't driving. I also forgot to mention that my next door neighbor asked me this morning who the man was peeing off the side of my porch last night:eek:
Jilly Bean Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 OMG, An, I know this is a serious post, but I HAD to laugh! Too funny. He sounds so eccentric. Has Jan been around when he's been diddling? What did she say about the pot as a gift? Did you mention the peeing off the porch incident to her? I dunno. Im usually pretty communicative with my long-time gf's, and I have NO problem telling on their hubbies, or telling them what I think about them. lol. I would mention these incidents to her. Kind of like, "Did I tell you that one of my neighbors mentioned seeing (hubby) peeing off my porch? I have to admit, I saw it, too. What do you make of it?" And see how she reacts. If she is mortified, then I'd continue the friendship and I am sure she will berate him for being so classless. If she laughs, then you know it's a topic you can't bring up again, and then I would ONLY see her without him around. Still, as an outsider, his behavior is hysterical. Or maybe it's how you told it.
Author AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 I would mention these incidents to her. Kind of like, "Did I tell you that one of my neighbors mentioned seeing (hubby) peeing off my porch? I have to admit, I saw it, too. What do you make of it?" And see how she reacts. If she is mortified, then I'd continue the friendship and I am sure she will berate him for being so classless. If she laughs, then you know it's a topic you can't bring up again, and then I would ONLY see her without him around. Actually, Jan saw him taking the piss off the porch, too. I'm not sure if she is aware of the crotch scratching, but she was there when I received the stash box with the little surprise inside for my B-day, as was an entire room full of other people, some of whom I work with. Thankfuly, I didn't open the box until I was alone later that night. By the way, Jan gave me a Home Depot gift card for the same birthday. Sometimes, I wonder how in the hell they wound up with each other.
jerbear Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 By the way, Jan gave me a Home Depot gift card for the same birthday. Sometimes, I wonder how in the hell they wound up with each other. Reminds me of opposites attract the TV show Darma and Greg.
Jilly Bean Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 [quote=AnLandy;1729180Actually, Jan saw him taking the piss off the porch, too. I'm not sure if she is aware of the crotch scratching, but she was there when I received the stash box with the little surprise inside for my B-day, as was an entire room full of other people, some of whom I work with. Thankfuly, I didn't open the box until I was alone later that night. By the way, Jan gave me a Home Depot gift card for the same birthday. Sometimes, I wonder how in the hell they wound up with each other. Do they live in a trailer park? Not joking...
Author AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Do they live in a trailer park? Not joking... No actually. She has a Ph.D. and he is going to law school.
Jilly Bean Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 No actually. She has a Ph.D. and he is going to law school. Wow. Totally shows you you can't buy class... The fact that she knew and therefore seemed to condone his peeing off your porch disgusts me to the highest hilt. It's one thing for him to behave like an animal, but she is your friend. And if she is the type who supports this kind of behavior, it would make me question her judgement skills and world view. But, that's me, and I don't have friends that would pee on my property...
quankanne Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 my guess is that because he's totally relaxed with you as his wife's friend, he's comfortable doing typical "guy things" around you/in your home (peeing on your lawn and scratching his privates). Tacky behavior, but nonetheless typical of someone who relaxed with you. the dope gift was rather curious, IMO – I could see that if you two were good friends and he knew this was your thing and that you'd be okay with it, but the mere fact that you've posted your concerns makes me wonder if he's barking up the wrong tree thinking you're actually a friend when you're mostly an acquaintance through his wife?
Author AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 my guess is that because he's totally relaxed with you as his wife's friend, he's comfortable doing typical "guy things" around you/in your home (peeing on your lawn and scratching his privates). Tacky behavior, but nonetheless typical of someone who relaxed with you. the dope gift was rather curious, IMO – I could see that if you two were good friends and he knew this was your thing and that you'd be okay with it, but the mere fact that you've posted your concerns makes me wonder if he's barking up the wrong tree thinking you're actually a friend when you're mostly an acquaintance through his wife? They have only lived here about two years, and she was here for nearly 8 months without him while he was trying to sell their house in another state. Jana and I became friends while they were living apart. I'd never thought of it, but he has been having difficulty meeting people here and finding a social circle. Maybe he did construe my friendship with his wife as an indication that I also thought of him as a "friend", rather than "my friend's husband".
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