Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I was very much into this single guy about 3 years ago.. but he was not available, he wouldn't call when he said he would... long story short... He's back into my life.. he wants me to give him another chance.. said he's very much interested... I've seen him 4 times in about 2 weeks.. most of the time I don't return his calls.. I thought it would all come back like before.. but.. n-o-t-h-i-n-g... I feel nothing. He's a good kisser.. but I have no 'feelings'.. weird.. I told him tonite that it's not what it used to be.. that I just don't feel anything this time... He asked me if I thought I would change.. I don't know.. I honestly don't think so... too bad though... cause he's a real 'eye candy'... still very beautiful... (and he knows it).. I think it's funny the way people look at us (younger guy, older woman) when we're out.. He said he's willing to wait (for sex) as long as it takes... .. that he is serious this time.. he wants to go out.. do things.. stay overnight sometimes.. be the boyfriend that he should have been 3 years ago. Humm... Usually, once I'm over them.. it's over... fini.. ni-ni... I don't know if it can 'revert' this time to what it was before.. maybe if I have sex with him ... (he said he's a lot more sexual now, he thinks about it all the time)... So I'm almost certain, that once the 'feelings'.. the 'desire' are gone.. it can't be 'reverted' ... like when a MM is no longer in love with his W.. even if they go to counselling.. it won't come back the way it was before.. I guess it's the same thing..
confused and broken Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Any guy who once wouldn't call when they said they would does not deserve a second chance any ways... He can give you this song and dance about how he's changed but I wouldn't buy it... Maybe he's changed for a month or so but he will soon return to his old tricks... Remember the reason why you ditched him to begin with and count your blessings that you are no longer hot for him
Lauriebell82 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 If you are not feeling it then break up wtih him. There is nothing worse then staying with someone you aren't into.
grogster Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 For most of us, you can never go home again. Enjoy the memories of your time with this guy, and flex your cougar muscles with new game.
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 I thought you had sworn off any and all R's. WTF?! Not if it's an 'open' relationship..
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 For most of us, you can never go home again. Enjoy the memories of your time with this guy, and flex your cougar muscles with new game. hahaha.. funny that you say that.. we talked about 'cougars'... he knows what it meant.. there was a show playing on 'Animal Planet' about a cougar attack.. then the topic came up.. He said 'I don't like cougars.. but I like older women'.. isn't he sweet..
stillafool Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Maybe he doesn't turn you on anymore because you are involved with two other guys and this guy is in 3rd place. I feel he is getting what he deserves and will just have to wait around and prove himself to you.
Lyssa Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Lizzie! I was hoping you'd still be around. I have a Q - isn't it easier to let go of someone if you're not emotionally attached to that man? I'm thinking you'd be the right person to ask since most of the time, you wouldn't get involved if they get too close....
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Lizzie! I was hoping you'd still be around. I have a Q - isn't it easier to let go of someone if you're not emotionally attached to that man? I'm thinking you'd be the right person to ask since most of the time, you wouldn't get involved if they get too close.... Hahaha.. I dump them if they get too close WHEN they are married.. Yes it is much easier to let them go when someone is not emotionally attached.. I am kinda 'testing' this guy.. you know me.. I like to make different 'experiences' but I might tell him to buzz off soon... I,m bored with him.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I disagree with any absolutes, as anyone can attest to. Apparently you don't either and that is good on you. It is important to follow your feelings sometimes and be bold to give something a second try. I mean times and people CAN change. Old ways could be learned from. Old mistakes corrected and moved past. Now, if you have honestly given him a try, meaning (and from your statement, it seems you haven't) you have gotten over his past treatment and you are willing to see him in a new light and NOT hold his past against him. Then I would say stay and see why you don't feel the way you do if you are unsure. Sometimes it does take time to warm up to someone, especially a second time around. But, now if you know you can't and don't want to get past the fact he did not perform up to your standards, don't play with him. Let him move on to greener pastures. DNR
Lyssa Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Hahaha.. I dump them if they get too close WHEN they are married.. Yes it is much easier to let them go when someone is not emotionally attached.. I am kinda 'testing' this guy.. you know me.. I like to make different 'experiences' but I might tell him to buzz off soon... I,m bored with him. Thanks! I was wondering about that. As for me, I can't get involved with anyone without being emotionally attached but have always felt that it's easier to end things when you're not emotionally attached. LOL - yup, I can always count on you to tell any man to buzz off when you're done with him.
2sunny Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 bored is not a good place to be if you are interested in someone - or trying to be interested i should say. dump him - no reason to waste time when the mojo isn't there...
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Thanks! I was wondering about that. As for me, I can't get involved with anyone without being emotionally attached but have always felt that it's easier to end things when you're not emotionally attached. LOL - yup, I can always count on you to tell any man to buzz off when you're done with him. And yet we want to wonder why people are they are in and about relationships? Such callous disregard and respect to other's feelings. DNR
underpants Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Maybe when and if he marrys someone else your interest level will rise? It doesn't seem that you have ever really loved anyone. Even the long relationships you have attested to are with married men who left a wife for you, and even in those you get bored and eventually bail. Do you think that could be a by product of your chosen lifestyle and continued preference for married men? Seems kind of empty.
grogster Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 hahaha.. funny that you say that.. we talked about 'cougars'... he knows what it meant.. there was a show playing on 'Animal Planet' about a cougar attack.. then the topic came up.. He said 'I don't like cougars.. but I like older women'.. isn't he sweet.. What's not to like!
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 What's not to like! ... exactly...you're sooo sweet too...
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Maybe when and if he marrys someone else your interest level will rise? It doesn't seem that you have ever really loved anyone. Even the long relationships you have attested to are with married men who left a wife for you, and even in those you get bored and eventually bail. Do you think that could be a by product of your chosen lifestyle and continued preference for married men? Seems kind of empty. Huh?... Huh??.... Huh??? Where did you get that?... Stop guessing.. you should take notes..
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 And yet we want to wonder why people are they are in and about relationships? Such callous disregard and respect to other's feelings. DNR I was brutally honest with him last night.. no secrets here.. he's old enough to take his own decisions..
luvmy2ns Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Huh?... Huh??.... Huh??? Where did you get that?... Stop guessing.. you should take notes.. You did say you got bored with your LTR and asked him to find a mistress after all. It doesn't seem Undies is off the mark at all.
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 You did say you got bored with your LTR and asked him to find a mistress after all. It doesn't seem Undies is off the mark at all. I fell out of love with him.. not bored... I didn't want sex with him anymore.. He was a great guy for the rest. when I left my 2nd we were still very much in love. I was a total of 29 yrs with the 1st one.. so to say that I never 'loved' anyone.. oh and none of them left their W for me..
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I was brutally honest with him last night.. no secrets here.. he's old enough to take his own decisions.. Brutally honest = cold, callous, without a care and usually intensionally mean, cruel, and hurtful. I believe in honesty. Totally. If something is on your chest, let it go. But, there is this thing called tact. Most people can respect non-interest or being dumped, but harder feelings are felt if there is that twist of insult, griding of salt in the wound. Now I can understand brutally honest coming if someone just won't take the hint that your serious. That is totally different. DNR
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Brutally honest = cold, callous, without a care and usually intensionally mean, cruel, and hurtful. I believe in honesty. Totally. If something is on your chest, let it go. But, there is this thing called tact. Most people can respect non-interest or being dumped, but harder feelings are felt if there is that twist of insult, griding of salt in the wound. Now I can understand brutally honest coming if someone just won't take the hint that your serious. That is totally different. DNR Well we don't have the same definition: for me BH is being honest, no secrets, telling it like it is.. with tact though.. I'm not an imbecile.. I wasn't mean and rude.. geezzz.. Do we have to weigh each and single word here.. and provide the subtilities...
t_veron Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Not if it's an 'open' relationship.. Lizzy you naughty cougar.... Sounds like you're emotionally done with the guy and getting final closure which should help you feel more self assured. If you're thinking of putting a few scratches on the guy and nothing more not sure you'll get much pleasure out of it. The challenge of the hunt is gone.
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