badnewsbeers Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Hi, I dated my girlfriend for about a year before we broke up last summer, and were apart for about 3 months. She started seeing somebody else and I was heartbroken, but we eventually got back together and have been now for about 8 months. Unfortunately, at this point in the relationship the same things are happening. My desire to have any kind of intimacy with her is virtually nil; in fact the thought of it turns me off. My sex drive is still high, so it's not a physical problem, it's just the thought of doing it with her. Also, I'm tired of her company, and we fight pretty well every day. She gets into these panic attacks during almost every fight, which completely nullifies any ability that I may have had to make my point. It's at the point where I'd rather hang out with my mates then her, because I don't want to deal with the fights, or the constant dependcy on me, etc etc. BUT This is exactly how I felt last summer when we broke up for the first time, and look what happened - I was great for a month, but then fell into the worst depression of my life. I'm terrified that this will happen again, and further more, I'm just entering my last term of engineering (which will take a TON of focus), and I can't afford to have this affect me badly in terms of failing a class (again). I just don't know what to do. Do you think the problems in the relationship are fixable? These issues can be worked on? At this point I don't even feel like I really want to, but she still does occupy a spot in my heart and even though it's rare to see she can be such a cute sweetheart. But at the same time I don't see a future... but also at the same time, I don't want this to send me into a tailspin for another 3+ months. Any advice would be great, I'm 21 and she's my first long term girlfriend (and first girl I've ever said that I loved). PLEASE!!
confused and broken Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I hate to break it to you, but of course it's time to end this relationship... The problems don't sound fixable... There are lots of fish in the sea find one that you desire... You also owe it to her to break it off, and this time when you break it off don't even dream of getting back together with her ever!!! So that you don't get depressed make sure you distract yourself with other women, and remember that you weren't even attracted to her anymore so what is there to be upset about...... You are young go explore the world.....move on the longer you stay in this virtually non existent relationship the longer you prolong your agony
backto1 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 bad, I went through the same **** man. It's real tough but if you haven't gotten those feelings back again, you should end it earlier rather than later. It was a big mistake that I didn't end my relationship 2 years ago. It hurts no matter what because you're a caring person. Take care.
backto1 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Hey I just wanted to add a little to my last post. Trust me, you would rather break up with her now and feel like crap about it instead of stay with her and not be sexually attracted to her. You don't want to have the guilt of making a girl feel so unwanted for so long like I do. You can at least leave her with good memories and her self-esteem intact this way. And you probably already know this, but your reasons for not wanting to break up with her aren't good reasons. The reasons you have are very compelling (I had the same ones) but none of them takes HER into consideration.
Author badnewsbeers Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Thanks guys, we did break up and it is horrible. Been apart for two weeks, and we've both decided to try NC as of a couple of days ago. I miss her terribly, but I know that it's for the best... two years with someone is a long time. Thanks guys, I just read these posts now and it eliminated any doubts in my mind. She deserves to be happy and so do I.
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