Hallmars Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Well, nights as well I suppose, but I'm thinking about the inevitable moment right after waking up when you realize that it didn't happen. A bit more than two years since I broke up with Her... closer to 3 now that I think about it, but 730 (almost) continuous nights of dreams. The worst one to date had to be this morning. It was one of those were the line was just blurry enough that I couldn't tell if it was real or it wasn't. I reached for my phone hoping that it wasn't a dream, that I did receive a text from her. Of course, there wasn't one. Blah. Anyone else unfortunate enough to dream about their ex's a long, long time after the fact?
johan Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I have. Not lately. Not since I saw her in the last couple of weeks. But over the time since we split up, I did occasionally. Some of the dreams were of us getting back together, and they gave me a bit of a jolt. The effects didn't last long after I got up. I had already reasoned out why breaking up was the right thing to do. And I was thinking of my future with someone else. And my job takes over my consciousness very soon after I get up. Three years is a long time to live with heartache. I hope you find relief soon. Forgetting her is not the key to your salvation. Forgiving yourself is. For the things you think you did wrong, and for the shortcomings you couldn't help. If you can find someone who can coach you on this, you will be free.
AnLandy Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 My best friend broke up with the "love of his life" eight years ago. Since then, he has had only one relationship, which lasted 8 months. He is still convinced that she was the only woman he could ever be happy with, and he has told me that he still has dreams about four or five times a year. He still has day dreams that the two of them will get back together, even though she is married. Have you talked to a therapist about the dreams?
Peter_pan Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 oh dear sorry to hear that dude, how old are you man? have you dated other girls etc thats so sh***y man
v33 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Funny thing about dreams. I would think of her constantly first thing in the morning for about 2 months. Rarely had dreams about her though. But the last few nights I have had some. Odd since she crosses my mind less and less now. In my case I don't think it means much, but I will be somewhat concerned if this continues on a nightly basis. Certainly there seems to no reason for it anymore as I have moved on and am currently involved with a wonderful new woman. The mind works in strange ways I suppose.
Author Hallmars Posted July 3, 2008 Author Posted July 3, 2008 Three years is a long time to live with heartache. I hope you find relief soon. Forgetting her is not the key to your salvation. Forgiving yourself is. For the things you think you did wrong, and for the shortcomings you couldn't help. If you can find someone who can coach you on this, you will be free. It's not so much heartache at this point as it is almost borderline repentance. With maybe a dash of delusion I'm working on it though. It didn't help that the first 6 to 10 months I became a functioning alcoholic, and the last 18 or so months I man-whored it up , but I'm working on forgiving myself (and her to some extent) to the point that I have a journal of sorts where I've written every good and bad moment in that relationship. I know what happened was for the best, but I also know that the dreams are a response to a part of me way, way in the back of my mind that still thinks there's going to be a perfect close to the third act of a romantic comedy ala "You've Got Mail", or "Melinda and Melinda". He is still convinced that she was the only woman he could ever be happy with, and he has told me that he still has dreams about four or five times a year. He still has day dreams that the two of them will get back together, even though she is married. I butchered the quote, but to answer your question, no I haven't talked to a therapist, nor do I plan to. I've spent quite an amount of time thinking it through and I know [or at least convinced myself ] that there's someone better out there. There always is. But I really haven't had anyone to bounce this off of. Hopefully doing this will somehow help rationalize that last bit of me that still holds on to what was, and I can stop fantasizing about something every happening again. oh dear sorry to hear that dude, how old are you man? have you dated other girls etc. 24, and I have. Some for a while, some for a night, but none for too long. I either got bored quickly, or I managed to somehow blunder up the ones that seemed promising:laugh: C'est la vie I guess. I'm glad I found this forum. I know everyone goes through heartbreak, but I was starting to feel odd about having these dreams- for two freaking years
Author Hallmars Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 I haven't had a single dream about her since I posted here. I am so freaking glad I did, and now I'm just hoping that next time I post something about 730 mornings, it'll be about NOT dreaming about Her
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