Charisma Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I’ve spent the last 8 years of my life working hard and finishing school. I now have my two degrees and everything seems perfect in my professional life. I told myself that this would be the summer I would actually date and enjoy life, since I’ve never had a boyfriend and haven’t been on a date for 2 years. What I need help with is how to show someone I’m interested in them. I feel I don’t know how to successfully flirt. Just the other day I noticed a good looking man but I felt so embarrassed that I just looked away whenever he looked at me. I actually was very interested but I couldn’t believe that I didn’t even smile, so it’s no surprise that he didn’t come over to talk to me. I guess I’m not comfortable with others noticing me, as result I’m not very approachable. I’m just suffering from situational shyness when it comes to matters of the heart. How can I make myself more available and approachable?
fral945 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I’ve spent the last 8 years of my life working hard and finishing school. I now have my two degrees and everything seems perfect in my professional life. I told myself that this would be the summer I would actually date and enjoy life, since I’ve never had a boyfriend and haven’t been on a date for 2 years. What I need help with is how to show someone I’m interested in them. I feel I don’t know how to successfully flirt. Just the other day I noticed a good looking man but I felt so embarrassed that I just looked away whenever he looked at me. I actually was very interested but I couldn’t believe that I didn’t even smile, so it’s no surprise that he didn’t come over to talk to me. I guess I’m not comfortable with others noticing me, as result I’m not very approachable. I’m just suffering from situational shyness when it comes to matters of the heart. How can I make myself more available and approachable? From a male perspective (and being a somewhat shy person myself), I can tell you that smiling is always a good sign. I don't approach women who don't smile back at me because I assume there is no interest. Don't keep your head down or your arms folded (which I used to do a lot). That definitely signals unapproachable. Just be smiling and friendly and most likely the men will come to you. If you can't get a certain guy's attention for whatever reason, and don't want to be the initiator, you could try an indirect way, some sort of icebreaker to make him initiate a conversation. Maybe bump into him "accidentally" or drop something nearby him and say "whoops!". If he's interested he'll scramble for whatever you dropped. There's your opening, and you can take the conversation from there. Kind of grade schoolish, but it's worked on me before.
Trialbyfire Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 If you are too shy to maintain bold eye-contact, try looking up, catch his eye, then down, then up, while smiling shyly. He'll take that as a bit of shyness with some interest, which is natural for you. If you happen to blush, that's okay too.
mortensorchid Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I don't think there is a surefire way to attract others no matter what others say. It's all subtle, a certain je ne sais quoi. It will happen when it will happen. Sometimes we have no control over it, sometimes we do.
rawkwell Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 You need to develop a sense of self-confidence. Do things for yourself that make you feel more attractive to yourself and you will attract others. I was very shy for many years and would do the same thing...look away when men I found attractive were eyeing me. Now I look them straight in the eye, and even wink on occasion. Feel good about YOU first.
Lizzie60 Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 No need to 'stare' at them.. just smile... quick look in their eyes... and that should do it..
Trialbyfire Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I've mentioned this one on LS before. When you're grocery shopping, as usual, everything you want is on the top shelf with no ladder in sight. If you happen to see a man who looks interested/interesting, do the tiny jumps to try to reach your item, then look around helplessly. If he's dense you might have to ask him to help you. Then, when he helps you, give him a blinding smile of gratitude. If he's interested, he'll start to chat you up. Good luck!
carhill Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I've had what TBF mentions happen to me in the grocery store (I do about half the shopping); it does work. It doesn't hurt that I'm married and friendly, so no pressure (on anyone). OP, try out some ideas you've read here with people you're not attracted to, just to get comfortable. Who knows, you might make some great friends along the way. I know I have
Trialbyfire Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 It does work because it happens to me regularly but I'm not trying to get the attention. I just want the item on the top shelf!! Why do they always put everything up high!! This world isn't cut out for short women...Grrrr... I've had guys reach above me when I didn't even know they were behind me. It's always a shock when that happens. Most often, guys will politely ask me if they can help, then reach upwards. As a short person, I really do appreciate the help, hence the smile of gratitude!
Nevermind Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 I am too tall for that. Maybe I should go looking for really short guys and do the reverse?
Trialbyfire Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Hahaha... "Can you plse reach the Mazola on the bottom shelf for me?"
Nevermind Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 You think "Hey shortie, kneel!" isn't going to do the trick?
Brady_to_Moss Posted July 3, 2008 Posted July 3, 2008 Just be more confident..thats what i am learning and i was VERY shy before...would never even look at an attractive girl...now ill just stare at them and put on a little smile....i am still a long way from where i wan to be but its gettin better!
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